a quick question about sex....

[OhWhatAPalaver]

how many times a day/week/month/year do you all do it?

OH is complaining that we don't do it enough anymore. i kinda agree but we have a very demanding 6 month old and finding time is hard! we usually only manage once a week at the most, if that. OH says this isn't enough, which i understand as we used to rarely miss a day, but these days i usually fall asleep before we can get round to any action!

Wow, most of you seem to be having a lot more sex than i am. We generally seem to aveerage a couple of times a month. Dp doesn't want to during the week when we're both at work and then busy in the evenings, then weekends seem to have one or both of us busy at least one night, so if we're not really in the mood/ill/whatever on the other weekend night then we don't have sex that week. It's been a couple of weeks since the last time now.

Last time we fell pg it took us completely by surprise as we'd only had sex once in 2 months, but obviously it was a fertile time (wasn't keeping track as we weren't ttc). Since the mc we've been making a bit more of an effort but we're falling back into bad habits.

For us it's him that doesn't want to very often, I'd be happy to have sex a few times a week but he claims he's too tired, and I'm starting to feel like he considers it a chore to get over and done with.

i find it hard to get past the tiredness but then our DD is still v young.
tbh i am a bit of a hypocrite as one of the many reasons i left my ex was because he was always 'too tired' to have sex.

things seem to be looking up for us now though. i think now that DD is being weaned and i'm not BFing as much i have a lot more energy than i used to!

Not full sex everytime but at least a good fumble 4/5 times a week (we don't live together though).

I really don't see the problem with one partner saying they would like to have it off more often

Don't see how that makes them pathetic, or selfish.

(more men bashing)

Varies according to DP shift pattern, and if we have been fighting, but can be 0 times a week or 4-5 times. But hardley ever in bed at night, tends to be downstairs once kids have gone to bed. Ot sneaking somewhere quiet in the daytime - the garage is useful !

Cyboo only if you assume it is men who want sex more often. The problem is that saying it puts pressure on the partner who doesn't want it and does nothing to help in fact probably makes it worse. As it has been said upthread there are more effective ways to help your partner feel like sex. I also think it can be a sign of someone who feels entitled to sex and who thinks a mismatched libido is their partner's problem which is undoubtedly selfish whichever gender they are.

Offred - diplomatic as ever