I've gone into complete panic mode. Verging on hibernation mode. Please help.

[JackieandJudy]

Dh is ill, and has been since just after we met. Over the years we've had so much to deal with, and I think it would be fair to say that I have dealt with most of it reasonably well (I'm generally ok at coping when things are going wrong, it's usually afterwards I have a bit of a wobble).

The situation is slightly different this time in that, instead of finding ourselves in the middle of an emergency, he has a planned operation coming up for next Monday. And I'm so bloody scared. The odds we have been given are not good. I can't stop thinking about Monday and am constantly doing the "what if ...?" thing. The elder dc know it's serious stuff coming up and are scared themselves, hence are looking to us for guidance and reassurance. I've tried but today I'm all out of trying and have locked myself in the bedroom. Smallest dc knows Dad has to go to hospital but is oblivious of the wider implications.

I'm shaking constantly. I keep crying at random moments (yes, that was me in Sainsbury's who cried when I dropped the apples!), I can't do this for another week. But I have to. I don't want to talk to rl friends as I will cry and I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me anyway.

But I'm happy to listen if any of you lovely ladies have any ways to help me get through this week, and possibly after.

Checking in for JandJ and hoping that the new line is working and the dialysis machine is booked and all is progressing well.

For everyone else love strength and happiness to you all. Wherever you are and whatever your lives look like at the moment.

Izzy - I feel like I have come full circle with those Gods, from sharks back around to Doctors ...Hawaii sounds nice for a holiday one day too! Your wisdom continues to envelop me

SW and foolonthehill - sending you both some love and strength during these challenging times. I have suffered from depression in the past (linked to bereavement) and have also gone through times when nothing felt right and life was a constant, weary battle. I hope you both find happier times very soon and peace comes your way. You will always have friends on MN I'm sure and will join J and J in my thoughts.

J and J - I hope all is continuing to progress well and Dr Punjabi is still being a tower of strength. Hopefully ds is making his preparations for Uni and still looking forward to going. Also hope (very much) that you are finding a bit of time for yourself among everything & everyone else, either for , cake, or a nice long soak.

Hi all, just checking in.
So pleased and relieved that your DH is making steady progress JandJ and my fingers are tightly crossed that he can return home soon. Fab news about your DS heading off to Uni too.

I agree Dr Punjabi is just FAB (< don't have sparkles so made my own)
It amazes me sometimes how some surgeon's have no real idea how much it means to families of the patients.
I have another "God like" surgeon here - Dr Asif Hasan is a leading children's heart surgeon at Freeman Hospital, this year he successfully performed open heart surgery on the worlds youngest patient, which was absolutely brilliant but my own reason for holding him in such high regard is because he saved the life of my niece.
She was born with 3 holes in her heart which wasn't picked up for 7 months, once she reached the Freeman hospital they were shocked that she was still with us :(.....very quickly she was booked in for her open heart surgery. I was with my sister at the hospital during the op and have to say it was the longest 7 hours of my life sitting looking at the little pager we were given, to tell us the op was over (or to contact us for the worst case scenario)

Anyway, when we went to ITU to see her, there was Dr Hasan, he explained everything went well and he expected no further problems. My sis, at this point in floods of tears and so very very grateful, flung herself at the Dr to show her gratitude. I'm not joking here - he physically recoiled from her, it looked like he'd been given an electric shock then went as stiff as a board and quickly but politely increased his distance
The nurse present had a little giggle after he left saying "Dr Hasan doesn't do gratitude and definitely not cuddles"
It still makes me laugh now when I think about it.

SW- I hope you're feeling better soon. )( Joining my hands again with fellow posters to send you strength and love )(

I shan't try making sparkles again, the buggers didn't work

Love your story about DrH Dondon. If there was ever a case for unmumsnetty e-cuddles then this is it. Some for J&J partly for comfort and partly to celebrate her strength, some for DH for healing and for holding strong, some for Dr Hero (although SW is allowed to send all these) and a few extra for DrH just because.

Not much time to post at the mo with work busy and my DH still struggling with his foot. DS1 goes away for 6 days tomorrow and I haven't even found a suitcase to pack him into! Luckily DS2 has decided that now is the moment to be an angel child. Thank heavens for small mercies!

Popping in to chuck a few sparkles around. Lots for J and DH, and the rest of her family. Some for SW, and a sincere hope that she is feeling a little better. A few for Izzy, for a safe journey across the pond......assuming she ever comes back!!! Then the rest....for all of us.

* some sparkles, for all of you

Ooops! We fallen off the front page.

Love, light and positive thoughts to all of us that need them and special hopes that Mr JandJ is progressing well and all is going to plan and the escape tunnel from the hospital is nearing completion.

Almost Friday! I hope you haven't spent the entire day doing housework in preparation J and J! Also hope that ds's Uni preparation is all done and he is ready to go.

I bet Dr Hero will miss you!

Looking forward to hearing DH is home but not expecting to for a week or so as J&J will be so busy and that DS is getting really excited about going to uni. Hope he has a wonderful time

Spent yesterday evening in hospital myself with DS1 (9) who came a cropper off his scooter on the way home from school and bashed his head on the pavement. Vomit, disorientation, headache, slurred speech - hmmm, A&E. All good now after a good night's sleep being woken by his dedicated DM at 2 hourly intervals and he's off on choir tour for six days this morning. Then I only have to take DH to the fracture clinic at lunchtime to see if he did break his foot and whether he needs surgery. Good job I have an understanding boss!

Sending a bit of a lift and a buzz to all who need them. All these sparkles have gone to my head.

Aw, Homebird, your poor ds - and poor you, but at least you've only got the one old crock invalid on your hands. Speaking of which, how's his appliqueing skills handiwork coming along

Here's more sparkles for everyone-:¦:?:''''':?-:¦::-?:''''':?-:¦::-?:''''':?-:¦::?:''''':? -:¦:: and a non-fizzy for our much loved pal down under

Homebird Sorry to hear about your troubles but you sound like you have it all in hand I hope your dh's foot isn't broken and that ds enjoys his trip - poor lad.

Izzy Those are VERY glam sparkles!

That's because they're American, honey. We do things flashier bigger over here

You know, I tried fizzy red wine one year when FIL decided that it was de rigeur. It was yucky! Glad you took the fizz out of the one you sent Izzy, thank you. It's helped regulate the manic laughter!

Still, a sense of humour gets you though all sorts. DF's last minute advice on my wedding day, as we travelled to the church in the ridiculously expensive car DM insisted on hiring "At least we've given you a sense of humour love. You're going to need it!" I tried really hard to take it as encouraging and not as a comment on my choice of DH who loves me despite my sense of humour

So, I send further to my earlier missive, a sense of humour to get you through the tough stuff and be the glue for the good times.

Thinking of you all, with peace and healing in mind ....

Ouch!! your poor DS, Homebird. Glad he's fixed though and hope he enjoys his trip.

Boys huh! I spent a huge part of my life sat in hospital waiting rooms for x-rays and stitches with my own 3 Evel knievel's. Imagine my delight yes, actual delight when I moved house and there was a walk in centre just 2 mins away :)
Hope your DH foot isn't broken too.

Wow! Izzy - now were talking sparkles :)

JandJ - I hope all is well and your DH is closer to coming home.

Thanks Dondon. I'm guessing as the choir folk haven't been in touch DS1 is fine. I'm a no news is good news person

DH hasn't broken the foot so no operation thank heavens. Still, it's badly sprained with stretched ligaments and the ankle is sprained too. Moonboot for six weeks and then some gentle physio apparently.

If J&J can run a household with DCs and her situation with DH then I can do it standing on my head with a 'slight seconds' DH of my own. J&J, when I'm tired, you are my inspiration

JandJ most certainly is an inspiration to us all, Homebird, but her dh has raised the bar and I see no reason why your dh shouldn't be running your household while walking standing on his hands

Glad it's not broken HB but ligament damage is still a bugger, my ex once knackered his from a footy injury fecking dimwit wouldn't accept he was too old to play and it took about 3 months to heal completely.

So sorry HB's DH but I'm in agreement with Izzy.....you can be propped against the sink for dishes duty and the cooker and the ironing board
Happy healing :)

I'll third it - JandJ is a massive inspiration, I'm willing the day/night that she has some normality restored with a huge bottle glass of wine in her hand, her DH comfy on the sofa, her DS happy at Uni and the other DC quietly if possible around her and she can take in a deep breath, breathe it out very slowly and say " thank god for that"

I've just had a vision of Homebird's dh tied to stood on a sack trolley and wheeled around to the sink, cooker, etc, as required in order to perform any chores, such as ironing, he can't do sitting down.

Where there's a will, there's always a way

Is a sack trolley the one that they use in one of the Hanibal movies, what Hanibal gets tied to and wheeled around that's what's in my vision :) so if yes, then yey! fab idea (why is there no evil grin emotion)

Do you think he'd agree Homebird? obviously no mask/gagging, just the trolley.

The device used to move Hannibal around sounds very much the same as a sack trolley, dondon, and I seem to recall that in one of the movies Mr L was lying prone and strapped to a hospital trolley.

It occurs to me that if you catch your dh reclining on a similar trolley you'll be able to tie him down and use him as an ironing board, Homebird

I share your longing for a truly evil grin emoticon, dondon -and I'd like there to be a thumbs down, thumbs up, cocktail glass, pint of beer, cupcake, raspberry, one finger, two fingers, sparkles, and a host of others. A petition to the towers perhaps?

I'm feeling quite sorry for Homebird's dh now too......! Poor man has no idea!
Glad he can avoid surgery though. Despite having 2 ds's, it's dd that caused us various hospital & A&E traumas I'm sure that isn't the way it's supposed to be...

What fun while I slept ladies DH quite likes the sack barrow idea and has offered the mask and gag as optional extras if I'm good Could have nicked one of the oxygen bottle trolleys from the resus room at the hospital when I was there with DS1 if I'd thought on! I might just draw the line at the ironing board substitution idea though Izzy. Quite fond of the rounded curviness and the Flat Stanley approach just doesn't do it for me!

I'm loving your image of family harmony for J&J, Dondon. Do you think she'll find sparkles down the back of the sofa in a few weeks -when she's fishing out the Lego the DCs have lost--?

Sending a few brightness sparkles to SadWidow too and hoping that her black dogs are now specks in the distance and she'll be rejuvenated and return to us soon.

Here's hoping for a nice, normal weekend soon ... for you, J&J, your family, and anyone else who longs to get back to normal, everyday stuff from whatever they're going through ... :-)