I've gone into complete panic mode. Verging on hibernation mode. Please help.

[JackieandJudy]

Dh is ill, and has been since just after we met. Over the years we've had so much to deal with, and I think it would be fair to say that I have dealt with most of it reasonably well (I'm generally ok at coping when things are going wrong, it's usually afterwards I have a bit of a wobble).

The situation is slightly different this time in that, instead of finding ourselves in the middle of an emergency, he has a planned operation coming up for next Monday. And I'm so bloody scared. The odds we have been given are not good. I can't stop thinking about Monday and am constantly doing the "what if ...?" thing. The elder dc know it's serious stuff coming up and are scared themselves, hence are looking to us for guidance and reassurance. I've tried but today I'm all out of trying and have locked myself in the bedroom. Smallest dc knows Dad has to go to hospital but is oblivious of the wider implications.

I'm shaking constantly. I keep crying at random moments (yes, that was me in Sainsbury's who cried when I dropped the apples!), I can't do this for another week. But I have to. I don't want to talk to rl friends as I will cry and I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me anyway.

But I'm happy to listen if any of you lovely ladies have any ways to help me get through this week, and possibly after.

Just checking in J&J --still thinking about you and your DH.

Hope he is making a bot of progress and that you and your DC's are staying strong.

Good morning JandJ. Here's hoping that today brings more strength for your DH to fight his way to recovery.

Popping to say hello again. Hope all is well for now, J and J.

I am doing the evening 'check-in'

I hope your silence means that you are chatting to DH as he recuperates. Squeeze his hand from us!

Hello JandJ and Mr JandJ and all the other lovely amazing posters on here.

I've been lurking but just wanted to let you know there's another person here thinking of you, your DH and your family. You are an amazing lady JandJ.

Sending you all lots of hugs and strength.

Lots of love to all you lovely ladies too.

I'm going back to lurking now but am thinking of you all.

xxx

A quiet wish for strength, and a few moments of stillness, being sent to you JandJ

Isn't it lovely when lurkers pop in to wave cheerily and send their love. We always know you wordless folks are there on every thread but for every one who posts here I'm sure there are 100s more sending love and support. And it's all for you and yours JandJ. Lurkers are the MN version of the friends who are helping in RL with all the practical stuff: silent but sterling!

Today I'm sending you patience. There are times when you need it to get through the tunnel days, and to keep your temper when the brewery party makers forget the booze. At least we know Izzy can organise a piss up in the proverbial. Just praying for the good news which will light the sparklers in the cocktails. Sick of sending you cuppas. Here's a big glass of red to go with the patience.

From hereon in I'm sending my thoughts from the Green Mountain State where I intend to ride off some of the excess weight I gained in the Nutmeg State, JandJ.

Well, that's the plan but doing anything before breakfast in clear fresh mountain air tends to result in a feast of gargantuan proportions requiring a nap afterwards which kinda defeats the object. I guess it won't just be my baggage that's overweight when I return to the UK.

It's almost the dawn of another day for you and I hope it's a bright one for you and yours, honey.

X post with Homebird. Good news is all that's required to light those sparklers and the hangovers fireworks will be spectacular.

Pa suggests that if you didn't set a rumtopf up in a cool place back in the spring, there's still time to buy/gather locally grown soft fruit with a view to sampling the delicious spoils during the long nights of the festive season.

Needless to say, we're issued with baskets whenever we leave the house here and expected to return them full of offerings to Dionysus.

Lots of love back at you, mumat. We'll be thinking of you too and hoping you'll drop in again.

Good morning JandJ and everyone on this thread. Here's hoping that your DH is gathering his strength as each day passes and that he is slowly recovering from his surgical ordeal. We know he is a fighter and he has so much love surrounding him that you will inspire him to fight harder.

Sending loving thoughts J, and my sincere wish that you are slowly emerging from the fog of fear and worry, to a bright, crystal clear vision of hope.......Much love.

I have returned from the afternoon walk with my canine companion. We sat in a clearing in the most beautiful wood. I took my special rosary beads with me (everyone on here knows that I take comfort from my own religious beliefs) and I prayed hard. What I noticed was that as I prayed, the dog crossed his paws and laid his head down- then checked with me to see if he was doing it right!

I know ladies! It was just what I read into a perfectly normal dog situation, but he looked like he was praying himself for JandJ.

I had to develop a command for him a few weeks ago so that I could pray without playing with tennis balls. I just say "I am praying for JJ" and he lies down and settles. So we have prayed on beaches, by the canal, in meadow fields and today we prayed in a forest.

Take care JandJ - you and DH are in my thoughts.

checking in, thinking of you lots, sending love, and praying. oh, and sending a scrummy

Just checking in to send you all some love and light xx

Just checking in to say hello and wish you every best wish. Hope you are ok.

Wow! This thread is becoming VERY busy indeed. Hello to all ex-lurkers

Hi JandJ, hoping that each day is bringing a small triumph and that DH is confounding medical science.

Today's kiss is a 'Love'. Apparently, according to DS2, it has 10 ingredients but it's way too complicated to explain them. Ah, the wisdom of a 7 year old! I guess it should be alternated with a Scrummy to add a little texture.

You know, I think when our lurkers pop up they remind me of seals in the sea. Endearing and with big eyes full of love, always around but only visible for a few seconds before shooting off to fetch us another fish!

Enough randomness for one Monday morning. Off to work now to try to make some progress with the machinations of our own business before trying to change the world, one country at a time!

We are still on Sunday here Homebird, but I will accept Love and Scrummy kisses from a 7 year old any time he has one to spare. My LN is now 12.5 years old now and he struggles with hugs! (Only Mum and my dog can have them)

I love your description of the lurkers on this thread. There is something truly miraculous that is happening in cyber world here. This thread has love, warmth, strength and fun embroidered through every post. We have the most wonderful Pa who supplies us with cocktails when times are tough. We have the wisdom of Izzy to keep us focussed. Homebird, your kindness always shines through when I log in at early morn.

Sapphire has her own troubles but never fails to check in and give a little bit of extra strength to JandJ.

I salute everyone on this thread - those who have posted and those who lurk. You confirm the value and strength of cyber support for those who need to hold a hand when real life is a bitch.

So hold hands together now..... embrace JandJ, her DH and DC in a circle of love and support. Don't break the circle until we have news.

Love and blessings to everyone on this thread.

JandJ, whatever the news, you can count on us for support. Thinking of you and your DH and sending positive thoughts and sunlight in your direction.

I'm here, hand-holding in the circle. Thinking of you all, praying for you all

Joining the circle, and sending you quiet strength through the night.

You're right SadWidow about our little MN miracle. What a family! There are several generations including the children, those who seem to be home more than others though there is a welcome for all comers, and a global circle of support for as long as JandJ and her family need us.

I wonder if even Tim Berners-Lee envisaged this when he invented the Internet and said "This is for everyone".

You're all an inspiration although occasionally the cocktails may impair the response

Following on from sw's talented canine pal, my horse often displays intuitive traits.

We set off this morning to a point where three trails meet and I told him to choose where he wanted to go. He chose the trail to a lake that we approach from it's south eastern corner where I usually give him a couple of apples or carrots before spending time contemplating the glorious views towards the west.

Instead of stoppng at our customary place as I expected, he continued around the southern part of the lake before coming to halt in the south western corner. I gave him his usual treat and was transfixed by the view across the lake before realising that I was facing east.

I'd been thinking of you and your dh on the trail, JandJ, and I'm convinced that he chose to stop where he knew my thoughts would turn to you again as I visualised the lands and seas that lie beween my home here and my home in the UK.

Inspired by the tribes that have roamed this particularly scenic part of the world before me > I rolled an herbal cigarette in lieu of a pipe and sent the smoke heavenwards as an offering to Gitche Manitou, the creator and giver of life revered by the Algonquian peoples, and asked the Great Spirit to look favourably on you and yours.

Back at the ranch farm, breakfast turned into extended brunch as assorted friends and neighbours called by to greet our return to the kingdom. Pa, of course, did the honours and more than a few hopes on a rope were despatched with their accompanying toast.

Supper was a simple cheese rarebit and I'm consoling myself with the thought that breakfasting like a king, lunching like a lord, and dining like a pauper may have mitigated some of the damage done by tons of waffles, bacon, and maple syrup earlier.

I'm planning to work to my way through the pantheons in an attempt to bring your cause to the attention of as many gods as possible and it seems to me that, as sw has exhorted us to hold hands and not break the circle, my next port of call should be one of the many-armed Hindu deities who can grant us all additional extremities.

And I say unto you it shall be done

Homebird - your ds sounds lovely. My ds is 9 and still holds my hand on the way to school, but I'm not allowed to kiss his head at the gate now he's in Year 5. I know there will come a time when the hand holding will stop but I'm treasuring all the hugs and cuddles I can at the moment!

Izzy - I wish my lifestyle was half as glamorous as yours! We spent Saturday at a Pinetum and walked about 500k, then yesterday with friends- including a short impromptu visit to a local stable. (Ds is desperate to learn but student finance and dh's wages won't permit it at the moment!).

J and J, sending love and strength your way, thinking of you and yours a lot. The circle is growing ever bigger and stronger, I hope that gives you some comfort in your difficult moments.