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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've gone into complete panic mode. Verging on hibernation mode. Please help.

999 replies

JackieandJudy · 15/07/2012 15:39

Dh is ill, and has been since just after we met. Over the years we've had so much to deal with, and I think it would be fair to say that I have dealt with most of it reasonably well (I'm generally ok at coping when things are going wrong, it's usually afterwards I have a bit of a wobble).

The situation is slightly different this time in that, instead of finding ourselves in the middle of an emergency, he has a planned operation coming up for next Monday. And I'm so bloody scared. The odds we have been given are not good. I can't stop thinking about Monday and am constantly doing the "what if ...?" thing. The elder dc know it's serious stuff coming up and are scared themselves, hence are looking to us for guidance and reassurance. I've tried but today I'm all out of trying and have locked myself in the bedroom. Smallest dc knows Dad has to go to hospital but is oblivious of the wider implications.

I'm shaking constantly. I keep crying at random moments (yes, that was me in Sainsbury's who cried when I dropped the apples!), I can't do this for another week. But I have to. I don't want to talk to rl friends as I will cry and I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me anyway.

But I'm happy to listen if any of you lovely ladies have any ways to help me get through this week, and possibly after. Sad

OP posts:
Homebird8 · 12/08/2012 09:44

Simply drink it. Chuck it over ice and enjoy!

Or I think Izzy will correct me if I'm wrong a Dorian Grey uses orange liqueur. I seem to recollect OL and gin and orange juice madly shaken and topped up with bubbly then stirred.

Not sure about the shortened HoaR but at least it's spelled that way! Wild floor exercises maybe but I did manage to stop short of lewd behaviour!

MerlotforOne · 12/08/2012 19:42

Just popping in to bump the thread!

JandJ, I hope all is as well as could be expected with you and yours.

I haven't tried 'Hope on a rope' yet, as we've been visiting with teetotal friends. We have suitably alcohol friendly guinea pigs house guests arriving next weekend, so will have a go then! It sounds like fun (apart from the handstands, never could do a handstand...)

sadwidow28 · 12/08/2012 21:48

I am doing my night-time bump!

Apple Pie is my most favourite of all Pa's recipes.

I had the one with vanilla ice-cream tonight. It is simpy delicious! I will serve that one to my LN when he comes again in September.

Izzy - please thank your Pa from me!

Homebird8 · 13/08/2012 01:29

Just re-read the last few days worth of posts. What must you think of us JandJ? We're all half cut most of the time and spreading your and DH's name across the globe!

Taking a short break at work here to eat a healthy sandwich in the hope that it will outweigh the weekend's consumption of rum. The bottle is empty. Don't know how that happened!

Your thread is here when you need it JandJ but we might all be done for 'drunk in charge'!

lazarusb · 13/08/2012 08:54

I have visions of women all over the world going into supermarkets telling people that they need ingredients for their HoaR....Grin Do you think we can produce a 'Delia' effect and there will soon be a shortage of oranges/lemons etc?....

J and J - I hope your weekend was peaceful but pleasant. Hopefully you will hear some more positive news very soon. How are your dcs? Hope they are enjoying the sunshine.

sadwidow28 · 13/08/2012 10:14

Good morning JandJ. Hope things are going well for you and the family.

I think Homebird has it right, we have all been in charge of a thread. It was that Izzy wot done it!

sadwidow28 · 13/08/2012 10:15

all been in charge of a thread = all been drunk in charge of a thread

izzyizin · 13/08/2012 14:31

The thought for today is:

Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been

sadwidow28 · 13/08/2012 15:04

Caught you! we sent out the search party this morning Izzy. Have you been on Pa's cocktails again?

JackieandJudy · 13/08/2012 20:38

Hi drunken lovely ladies! So good to hear from you all, and so glad to see that lots of fun is being had. That party I mentioned will be memorable if it comes to pass! Don't think we will actually need any food, all that icecream/fruit in the cocktails will do just fine! izzy, I feel we should be paying some sort of homage to your pa, he is bringing lots of happiness into our lives! I don't know what job he had/has, but if it wasn't as a cocktail inventor he was wasted! (Er, not wasted as in wasted, but wasted as in - well, sure you know what I mean!)

Homebird, your dinner sounds lovely and I'm so glad your guests approved of your fare, alcholic and otherwise. Seems strange talking about Xmas puds in August, but I could just fancy one now! I bet izzy's pa has some stupendous Xmas cocktail recipes up his sleeve ...

Well, no real news from here, just counting the days down really. On a bit of a roll (sort of) for celebrity spotting (if my non-spot of Davina counts) - Dh and I went to a local cafe for lunch today. A young couple walked in and were immediately swamped by the cafe owners who were hugging them and cheering and congratulating them. They were stood just behind us and I did my best to eavesdroI happened to overhear something about rowing and medals. I wouldn't let dh turn round to look though and I didn't recognise them so bit frustrating! And lazarusb, dh also has a Linekar story from the days when he was in sponsorship - the first Mrs L was trying to claim a goody bag which was reserved for trade members, not footballers. She roped Gary in to help and it all got a bit unpleasant apparently!

Hope everyone's having a good week.

OP posts:
sadwidow28 · 13/08/2012 23:43

Wow, I was just logging in to say "goodnight" and bump the thread.............. and JandJ has posted. I have laughed and chuckled! You are so strong JandJ - you make me feel so humbled.

So onwards and upwards troopers!

I don't know Mr Gary L (nor have I met him). But I meet some of the junior MC players frequently and they stroke my dog! I never recognise a 'celebrity' when I am out walking, but LN almost freezes! I rare;uy g out for a meal, but when I do, there is usually a member of the Corrie or Emmerdale cast there.

I must be muddling in the right circles Grin

I think you are a greater celebrity JandJ. You are an inspiration and a source of laughter.

Izzy - you had better get in here on time tomorrow because I am disgracing myself with sentiment.

waves to Pa

JackieandJudy · 13/08/2012 23:49

Oh sadwidow, I'm so not - watch me crumble as the week progresses. You are the strong brave one, having coped with your loss in such an amazing way, and also being such a source of support and strength for your family.

OP posts:
ForeverAutumnNow · 13/08/2012 23:53

You and your lovely family are still in my thoughts and prayers JandJ, and will be for as long as necessary. Surround yourselves with all the love in the world, and good things will surely follow.

izzyizin · 14/08/2012 02:16

I'll never forgive myself if my tardiness allows you to fall into a sticky pit of sentiment sw Grin

It seems to me, JandJ, that you and your dh are already ahead of the Japanese proverb that is today's thought

To endure what is unendurable is true endurance

izzyizin · 14/08/2012 03:16

I can come up with 1001 things to do with a bottle of Grand Marnier or Cointreau, MS, and as all of them are very more-ish you might want to invest in another bottle or 6.

Pour 20ml any orange liqueur, 10ml fresh lime juice, 20ml cranberry juice, 40ml vodka into a cocktail shaker, fill with ice, shake vigorously, strain into a martini glass, and garnish with a twist of fresh orange for a perfect Cosmpolitan.

30ml any orange liqueur, 30m lemon juice, 30ml brandy or cognac shaken with ice and strained and garnished as above will give you another classic cocktail that was once immensely popular, namely a Sidecar.

Or try one of my favourites - strawberry and mint fizz using
50ml any orange liqueur, 15ml fresh lime juice, 6 strawberries and 3-4 mint leaves.

To borrow a word from sw, 'muddle' the strawberries and mint leaves in the bottom of a shaker - this is easily done with a pestle (or similar blunt instrument). Add the lime juice, fill with ice, shake vigorously, strain into a highball glass and top with soda water or any good brand of carbonated mineral water such as Perrier, San Pellegrini or my aqua of choice which is Badoit.

Try to save some of your precious orange nectar for classic crepes suzette, or orange glazed fresh strawberry pie, chocolate fudge tart with orange sauce, blueberry coffee cake with orange glaze, chocolate orange cheesecake, cranberry-orange bread with orange glaze... the list of goodies is endless.

If you incline more to savouries, consider orange glazed pork tenderloin or duck/chicken breasts, cola baked ham with mustard and orange glaze, glazed salmon, orange glazed sweet potatoes or carrots.. again, there is an extensive selection of delicious dishes to tempt you and I can supply recipes for any of the above.

Btw, if you have fresh strawberries of the somewhat indifferent variety, hull them, put them in a bowl, sprinkle with sugar and pour some fresh orange juice over them, place in fridge for 3 hours or so gently turning the fruit every hour and you'll find the flavour is immensely improved - and more especially if you pour a little orange liqueur over them when serving or add it to an accompanying jug of cream.

If you want to try a Dorian Grey the cocktail guru suggests 20ml orange liqueur, 20ml white rum (Bacardi or similar), plus 30 ml each of cranberry and orange juice poured over ice in a highball glass and stirred a couple of times.

There is another version of Dorian Grey which is simply equal parts of sweet vermouth, green chartreuse and gin with a splash of blood orange bitters but I reckon that one may be best drunk in front of a mirror the attic where the portrait is kept Grin

Pa comes into his own during high days and holidays but I refuse to think about the festive season until after Labor Day. However, you may rest asssured, there will be treats to suit every palette and cater for every climate Smile

Tomorrow I shall reveal a special concoction for the dc and lns and, of course, dps and other relatives can clandestinely add a little something of their choice to their glass Wink

Homebird8 · 14/08/2012 03:55

izzy stop it at once with all this talk of good food and drink or I'll never get DH to accept paid employment (which he has to get to fulfill his desire for a boat). He's way too good a cook, and has always been a lover of cocktails (if not my liver)! He sees every recipe as a challenge and it's not compatible with pressing a good shirt for an interview.

JandJ it's really good to hear from you. You're right, midwinter Christmas is very odd (in August) but it just goes to show that you can enjoy any celebration you like, whenever you like. Don't fill your mind full of dates, just life the hours and fill them with treats large and small.

My claim to meeting fame is taken from my student days. They were filming Sherlock Holmes in the house friends and I were living in, in Liverpool (it was cheaper than London). I stumbled out of my bedroom one morning, eyes half closed, with the first cup of tea of the day in hand, only to tip it straight down the front of Jeremy Brett in full SH costume. Having read since that he got completely into character for the role, I'm now not surprised that he growled at me!

Of course, having moderate prosopagnosia (I don't recognise faces well - even my DSs and DH sometimes) I didn't know who he was, rolled my eyes at him for being in the way, and went for a shower!

izzyizin · 14/08/2012 04:37

I can't help it, Homebird. It's the way I am. My friends know that if they're in need I'll be the first to rock up with a plate of nourishing edibles and a bottle of liquid fortitude, and my excuse is that I'm trying to carry on the tradition in virtual reality Grin

sadwidow28 · 14/08/2012 11:35

Well good morning lovely ladies. I am so pleased to see that Izzy did arrive on time this morning. You have us all drooling Izzy with those recipes. Keep them coming!

JandJ, I hope you and DH have another fabulous day and do something extra specially nice. Don't even think about 'counting down', take each day at a time. That really is the way to do it. Fancy not allowing DH to turn around and see who the rowers were. That was half a story with your non recognition skills wasn't it? Can you make sure that he is always in a position to see in future please. You really are not good at the celebrity spotting game. Equally as bad as I am at recognising the local footballers.

I'll catch you all later.

foolonthehill · 14/08/2012 18:43

pleased to see none of you are on the wagon and that the days are rolling by (or maybe the ladies are rolling by)

Brew...not in the spirit(s) of the thread I know but all i can manage I'm afrais.

love to all

foolonthehill · 14/08/2012 18:44

...afraid obviously...(may be some of Izzy's liquid cheer has made it into my beverage of choice!!)

lazarusb · 14/08/2012 20:14

Hello J and J - if you really fancy a Christmas pud, let me know and I will happily post one to you. I still (despite trying to stop the catering sideline) sell/give away Christmas cakes and puds and I am more than happy to donate one to you from my store.

tallwivglasses · 14/08/2012 23:10

"I think you are a greater celebrity JandJ. You are an inspiration and a source of laughter."

I'll drink to that Wine

MushroomSoup · 14/08/2012 23:26

Who knew there were so many things to be done with orange liqueur?! I'd better get the dusty bottle out!

sadwidow28 · 14/08/2012 23:57

I am logging in for my goodnight post for JandJ and all the lovely posters on this thread.

I have had a lovely day today walking my Border Collie along the canal bank. I do realise that I am getting older by the day and the knees creak and ache as I walk now. But we made it to a lovely little pub. Sadly, when I asked for "Pa's Apple Pie" the waiter shook his head. So I asked if they did Pa's "Hope on a Rope". I was told that they are hoping to get a franchise on Hope on a rope in the near future but it is going to cost a lot! Grin

I settled for a swig of the dog's water! Well, what is the point of carrying 3 litres of water in a ruck sack and dying of thirst yourself? I have re-packed his ruck-sack ready for tomorrow and I put in a bottle of flavoured water. THAT'S MINE! I know the dog doesn't like the taste of blackcurrant and apple.... my Apple Pies are safe!

waves to Pa again

When are you back in our time zone Izzy?

Night night JandJ and ladies. I'll catch you tomorrow.

skyebluesapphire · 15/08/2012 00:44

After my crap evening I could do with a load of Cosmopolitans. i will have to buy some ingredients. I have a cocktail shaker that I was given a few years ago and some proper spirit measures. and some of those little umbrellas somewhere I can feel a cocktail night with the girls coming on.

JandJ - Im glad you are doing ok. Stay strong.

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