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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

going out my mind

10 replies

vovon · 10/07/2012 17:18

The love of my life and next door neighbour whom i had known for over 20 years and dated for 2 has left me 4 another. It was out of blue and I feel like i cant cope.We used to be with each other 24 7 and then one day he said it was nover giving no reason and has not contacted me since that was 4 weeks ago.
Ifeel so emotional. I keep callin him but hewont answer. Any advice

OP posts:

scentednappyhag · 10/07/2012 17:22

I'm sorry you're going through this, I understand you're hurting, but if he's told you that it's over and is now with someone else, I'd stop calling him to be honest.
It's not going to help you move on, an ultimately that's what you need to do

Dropdeadfred · 10/07/2012 17:24

You live next door to him? That's hard. I think you need to accept he means what he says though

CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/07/2012 17:26

Sorry you've had such a shock. It is a horrible experience but calling him all the time won't help. Put the phone away because he isn't going to answer. Instead, be with friends and family, open the and talk it through. Good luck

solidgoldbrass · 10/07/2012 17:27

How feasible is it for you to move house? Obviously I know nothing of your circumstances, but if you could afford/manage to move then why not start looking into it?

And don't keep calling him. Painful though this is for you, he has ended the relationship and doesn't want any more contact: unless there are financial issues to sort out or he is the father of a child of yours, you need to let him go.

causeforanamechange · 10/07/2012 17:44

You deserve an explanation, so I understand why you are trying to contact him. I agree with the others that you should stop calling him for now. What he's done is totally unfair and you have every right to be angry.

Did he really say nothing other than it's over and i'm with someone else and then just leave? Was there really no build up to this or anything??.....

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Do you have good friends/family who you could talk this over with?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/07/2012 18:54

Having had the 'it's over, there's someone else and I'm leaving' experience via a note on the kitchen table... ... with no warning whatsoever I can testify that this does occasionally happen. I got an answer why eventually and it boiled down to 'cowardice'. He was worried I'd be angry.

skyebluesapphire · 11/07/2012 00:45

Yeah, my STBXH didnt tell me he was unhappy as he didn't want to upset me.

So he left me instead.

cupcake78 · 11/07/2012 06:47

Delete his phone number and destroy it. It's going to hurt, I'm sorry but there is no easy way. Keep your dignity and with time it will become easier. Speak to your friends that's what they are there for

annabel71 · 11/07/2012 10:43

What a difficult situation. STOP CALLING. He knows you're hurting and is just too scared to speak to you. Can you go on holiday or to a friends for a bit. Can you move?

solidgoldbrass · 11/07/2012 10:55

If he hasn't offered an explanation, pushing for one will do no good and will lead to you getting hurt even more as, backed into a corner, he might say some cruel things that you don't need to hear. Write him straight off and start concentrating on your future.

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