Checked DHs Internet History

[PastaLadyHasNameChangedForThis]

I have name changed, am a very regular poster who is sat wondering what the actual fuck.

I am on Maternity Leave at the moment and all this time is playing havoc with my head. It's so unbeleiviably silly but i've gone form being so trusting and utter non-jealous of DH to thinking constantly that something's going on that I don't know about.

I have comitted the cardinal sin of checking his messages and the rational part of me is glad to have found nothing, however the irrational side of me is thinking "hmm....has he deleted stuff?". I would like to clarify here and now that on a rational day, I do NOT think he is cheating. On an irrational day, I think in equal measures "he's cheating / flirting with someone else" and "you are being irrational".

It's my problem to work on.

After checking DHs phone, this morning, I also thought I would check his internet history. I was out last night and there are porn videos on his internet history for yesterday.

I'm not porn-averse, and genuinely don't think anything of him using porn to satisfy himself. There are a couple of feet fetish pages and a couple of 'big boobs and bums' too. Nothing shocking, though he's never seemed that fussed on my feet truth be told.

However, and this is where I actually feel a little bit sick and am shaking, there are also Tranny and Shemale pages.

Seriously feel ill.

I visited the site on my phone and to look at the Tranny / Shemal pages, you click on Fetishes and then click on that subcategory. There are a few pages in his history. Therefore I don't think e's looked at these by accident.

Fuckng hell.

DO straight men look at these things?

My heart is pounding.

I think some people can very naive about porn.

I don't think your husband is gay but viewing internet porn is very different from looking at porn magazines - it can be very addictive, its more interactive and more much real.

People very quickly can get bored with so called vanilla porn and often move on to harder core porn, webcam, chat rooms, dating/sex sites etc. This is one of the main reasons why there is a link between porn and infidelity.

I am not saying he is having an affair (there usually are other red flags) but a chat about porn, boundaries, secrets etc would be a good idea.

So any woman who has read 50 shades of shite is on the road to infidelity?

Gay guys don't fancy trannies and shemales, only straight guys do! It's just a bit of a novelty for them, a really hot chick only with an added... Willy! Seriously, gay guys like guys that look like guys. Ask Dan Savage. I wouldn't worry, enjoy your leave xx

50 Shades is not internet porn.

Its just badly written erotic literature :) and I doubt real people were harmed/hurt/raped during production.

I know, Novak. Up until recently I have never had reason to doubt anything in our relationship. I wish I could un-know it.

I need to keep looking. I'm sorry. I am vanilla. If he is into kinky / fetish / shemale / tranny porn then I will have to seriously re-evaluate our marriage as I can't actually bear the thought of feeling like there is a side to his sexuality that I cannot and will not satisfy.

If it is pure curiosity and a one off then I will be able to get past it.

Part of me wishes that while I had the opportunity I looked further into the history for the whole week to establish how much porn he is looking at and the type of it.

If the shoe were on the other boot, and I found shemale / tranny / extreme fetish porn a turn on and used it often, I know DH would feel inadequate or like I didn't actually fancy him.

Baby is in bed now. I might have a glass of wine.

Reckless you have hit the nail on the head about my changing role and adjusting to being off work.

Is it bad that I am actually looking forward to going back in two months?

I wouldn't worry about it and let it rest tbh. Not healthy to spend your time snooping. If it was affecting his daily behaviour, your relationship and intimacy it would not have been such a shock to you. Obviously, the preference most women would have would be for men not to use porn, but in the real world it's something most men do from time to time. Happily most men know the diff between fantasy and reality, as long as yours does and never gets consumed by it (most men don't, we see worst case scenarios of all-sorts on here) things should be fine.

What Opentooffers said.

PastaLady, enjoy your maternity leave and forget about this. If you absolutely can't, make a joke of it when the moment is ripe. Don't get heavy and serious on your dh.

I am starting to breathe a bit better.

I am a prude and to me it seems very alternative, however the advice on here has reassured me that actually it doesn't necessarily mean he is Bi or Gay or would seek out physical satisfaction for this fetish or curiosity.

I look at all sorts of things on the internet, because Mumsnet makes me just because I'm curious, not because I have some fetish.

OP, you also have certain history on your phone, from checking out what your DH was looking at.

This may seem totally random, but I watched a documentary about a year ago on men and parent-hood and they discovered/proved that men's testosterone levels are considerably lower in the first year of a babies life (something to do with lower testosterone makes fathers more relaxed with crying babies/more nurturing www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-14880055
Maybe your DH is subconciously aware of a difference in his hormones and looking at on-line stuff as reassurance - for want of a better phrase - that he still has urges. And what he looks at is kind of irrelevant. As agree that gay men would not look at Shemales etc.

Like the others, I would not worry too much.

Curiosity. I bet it's nothing more.

I have googled some seriously warped shit thanks to Mumsnet, if my DH saw it he'd think I was sik in the head. Simple fact is I was curious and nothing more.

*sick. I wasn't trying to be dahn wiv da kids.

Innit blud.

Straight men are often sexually curious about transexuality and transvestites, and may even be turned on by it. Doesn't mean they want to bang a man. It's got to do with femininity, if you think about it.

ive just asked my boyfriend about this and he said its ok to look at tranny/shemail porn as long as it looks female it doesnt make u gay. I said but your looking and know its a guy so praps its that part that makes it 'naughty' cos porn hasto have a certain 'naughty' feel about it to be interesting in my opinion. i shouldnt worry OP. xx

My ex's mum once told me that whe she was at home with her new born, her husband was 10 mins late coming home from work.

In that 10 mins she decided he was having an affair and ripped right into him when he got home.

She blames it on being at home all day, hormones and haing very little sleep. Luckily he is a lovely guy and took it well. He even commented about how bad a lover he was as he was only 10mins late. this was 30 years ago.

No advice to you about your particular H but when I found gay porn on the computer so many things fell into place about my so called marriage. (Not shemale stuff, or trannies, but older men).

Look back and ask yourself if you have ever anything filed something under the 'That's doesn't really fit category so I'll just keep on keeping on here'. If this seems totally out of character and is the first/only time you have ever had even a suspicion, then it may well be a once off.

However, reset your settings wrt erasing the browsing history and see what else you come up with in the next weeks. You can have the computer checked even if the history has been erased. It will still be recorded on the hard drive.

I second what Maryz said. My DH would be absolutely horrified by what I have been looking at on the internet. Mostly inspired by Mumsnet .

Right. I realised today from looking at my phone that I am able to see the 'most visited' sites. So, when I had the opportunity, I looked and the Tranny / Shemale pages weren't on that list.

However - something called Vore Porn was on there.

So I had to google it. Eating people??? What the bloody hell have I married??

So now half the MN population are going to have that in their history. God help us if our DH's come snooping!

Haha never thought about that

No idea but I suggest sleeping with one eye open