Would you go out with a guy that still lives with his parents?

[Gin30]

Thats it really. Would you be concerned that a guy is 35 and still lives at home?

Yes. Unless there is a very good, and very temporary reason for it.

As in, yes I'd be concerned, and no, I wouldn't date

Wouldn't really bother me if there was a good reason for it.

My sister's bloke is older and lives with his parents. He moved back after a rmarriage breakdown. He is not odd or anything and the reasons are complex but it does drive her batty that he does feel more motivated to move out again and this lack of motivation does run through many aspects of his life sadly.

Ahh this is making me sad becuase my lovely lovely bil still lives at home and is single.
He is 37.
Never left home in fact, but he is so lovely, he would make some one a lovely partner, but just hasn't met the right person to settle down with yet..in fact has never had a relationship with anyone since ive been with dh, which is 19 years...oh dear, he is a weirdo isnt he???

He is just so lovely though, for a weirdo

I'd be curious, but would save any concern for once I'd got to the bottom of the reason for it. There may be any number of genuine reasons for living with parents. You can only judge once you get the details.

Depends on the reason

Did, married, 2 DDs happy.
As SusieDaisy said.

My OHs brother lives with PILs he's 48.

I think because I'm very independent, I'd struggle to have a relationship with anyone who wasn't. The main issue is whether he's ever lived independently in that time.

If I hadn't left home at 18 and never gone back, maybe it wouldn't be so strange to me .But I can't imagine having much in common with someone who's never lived away from their families nor owned/run their own home. Each to their own though.

I did.

He lives with me now.

His mother was a nightmare when we were dating and even worse now.

DP never moved out as he'd never met anyone and she made him feel so guilty anyway.

I love dp but I'm not sure I'd do it again

Depends if he has always lived at home.

My husband was living at his parents when I met him (he was 38) but that was because he was divorced, his ex had the house, and he wasnt earning enough to buy on his own.

Thanks for your replies.

He went to uni for a couple of years but been at home other than that.

Also he has had his own business thats always been heavily subsidised by his dad. He's a lovely guy who I've known for a long time but is a bit of a dreamer.

I've always had to be independant so I guess this worries me a little.

Based on your second post - no.

How do you know if he could cut it in the real world? Or if he would even want to?

No way. Absolutely no way. 35 and still at home?? No. Unless there was a very good reason eg divorced and had to give up the family home/illness. If it was just cos he'd never got round to moving out, then I would steer completely clear! I came back to my parents for 6 weeks after uni, then got a job and moved out and never moved back.

"Lovely but a bit of a dreamer"= you will end up organising every aspect of his life come the end it will be like havin an over grown child to sort out! And I really don't mean that nastily but some people are happy to be carried!

My brother is 38 and still lives at home but that is common in the nature if the business he's in. He is fed up with it though and us building his own house on site. He is not a mummy's boy.

Sadly he has put work before everything else and has not met anyone :(

I wouldn't care, but then I'm living with my parents at the moment I know quite a few other people in a similar position (late 20s/ early 30s) mainly due to redundancy/ insecure jobs/ splitting with partner etc.

Lovely but a bit of dreamer whose never stood on his own two feet and still has his washing and cooking done for him?

Ha Ha.

No.

I think its that he's never been financially independent from his parents that worries me the most and I wouldn't want to end up doing everything for him.

I think you are quite right to have concerns about this as it is absolutely not normal.

No, I wouldn't even consider the man you describe as partner material.

I wouldn't go near him unless he seems highly motivated overall. By your later posts he sounds like a man-child.

Good friend has been going out with a guy for seven years. He lived at home when they met. Took him six years to finally move out of home and get a house with her. She wants to get married and have kids but she has spent so long with him she is running out of time on the kids front :( I suppose she is at least living with him now so it's a happy ending of sorts but he drags his feet for YEARS not months.

No.
I can't see any good reason why he/she should be living at home at that age. I don't get the whole, he/she hasn't met anybody yet, what has that got to do with not growing up and moving out and creating a life for yourself. Why does one need a partner in order to move out from your parents' house? If an 18 year old can move out and stand on his/her own two feet, then so can a 35 year old (in my opinion anyway).

God no. I had a series of man-child-living-with-parents boyfriends and they were to a man useless inadequates with really weird attitudes to their mothers/women in general. Run a mile and don't look back.