Leave Me Alone you Monsters!!

[lovelymummy47]

Yes! I mean it, my H, Sil, Mil and Social Services. These four people have made my life a misery and I feel so hopeless and useless.

Please Be my guest and read about my misery, please don't be judge mental and abusive. I am a vulnerable being and at the moment I just need help and support rather than criticism.

I have a dd(7mnths) with my H, who since our baby was born has been emotionally, physically and mentally abusive :( He has a great life! No help with, baby neither house chores,plus going out when and wherever he wants! I am left at home with a baby, pnd and a huge house full of demons. More to it, he is a cheat, not once but several times with diff stupid OW. Stupid bastard!

Mil, has a phd in using emotional blackmail! Ever since me and her son moved in together, she always wanted to spend time with him and constantly calling him and compulsively lying how she needs him in her house????!!! Great hubby would abandon aLL our plans to attend to this monster no2. She even blackmailed my H to come to our honeymoon hotel?? Who does that in this universe?? I have kissed hubby(a goodbye kiss on the cheek) whilst mil was there ans she snapped and left the house claiming H is ignoring her? Are you nuts?? I kept this to myself and put up with it for soo long but seriously, MIL you need therapy, your relationship with H is very unhealthy.

Sil, she is 34yrs old, living with her mum, she can't cook, clean, or even dress well yet she has the guts to stalk me around the town to update her brother(H) about my every move! Now since H left a month ago, she claims she last saw me with a taxi driver?????? If I had a chance, I could penetrate my nails under your old wrinkled skin. I have and I am very faithful to my H, never ever have I thought of cheating on him cause I have always loved him. Her ex H ran away from this family, 6mnths after marrying her.(What a shame) and Yes, Monster no3 leave me alone!

Social S, got involved with my fam after I reported H (finally) after sooo many months of abuse. They are doing nothing to help me. The SW involved in my case, is siding with H and she has seen him several times at the office and outside the office??? H has convinced her that I am mentally ill, saying I sleep around (I told him I have been sexually assaulted in the past and showed him docs) How stupid was I talking to a bastard about my past without knowing he'd use that as a weapon? The SW has not made an effort to contact me whatsoever. So, I have no money, no food and sW is doing nothing to protect the child involved. I'm left to wonder what is the ss about? SW is not willing to help, your monster no4 and leave me alone too!!

I am left fighting for myself, seen a doc about my pnd and she prescribed anti-ds. I'm reluctant to take them as I've heard people get addicted to them and can't function without them in the future, therefore I requested councelling or some sort of therapy. Its been six months and she is not of help at all. What I'm I supposed to do now? How do I survive? How do I cope looking after the baby 24/7 and nobody seems to understand my situation? My world is crumbling and I don't know where to start, H demolished my self esteem and confidence. :( :( :( :( when I look at my baby everytime I burst into tears because I feel sorry for her. It wasn't her plan to come into this world but here she is, with a helpless hopeless mother. :( please, don't criticise me, I can't take anymore cricism. :( :(

lovelymummy47, I missed one of your posts and so ignore my message before (or take bit from it you need). Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. All the best - thinking of you.

How are you doing op?

Ohhh! I just have to update my good news :) , well first of all, anew sw, an emergency(1 bed house) accommodation 200miles away from this abusive man. Distance doesn't worry me at all, as long as I will be safe hence forth. This is something I will never regret in my life. I will struggle financially but peace of mind and a happy environment for my dd is priceless! I am over the moon.

Starry thank you too, your message is all I need just before I left the house to seek refuge!

Jomato I took your advice re complaining to a new sw and I didn't even have to explain with many words to the ss manager. Right there and then, she allocated anew sw who organized all these for me within an hour! :) thank you so much..ou need to pull yourself together. OK - On the INSIDE you don't feel like you can but you need to at least put on show to these social workers. Really thing in advance before you meetings - get a strategy together and try and win these people over. The more you look happy and taking care of yourself and your children, the more they will think you are being perfectly reasonably. I know it's bloody hard to do it but we are on HUMAN on a basic level and it's hard not to judge on appearances thank you again.

I just can't explain how relieved and joyful I am, I couldn't have done it without your support Right now, I'm doing the final bits and peaces of packing(the ss manager organized a removal van for me! :) and she took care of the humongous bill :) ) and will be leaving tomorrow at noon.

I love you all, thank you again! You have been all so helpful and supportive beyond any rl friend would have been.

These are for you all xxx God bless you lots and lots! I am overjoyed!

Sorry, bits of wrong typing. Simply I'm just over the moon right now!

Good news.

Great to hear! You'll have to see what's on locally when you get to your new place - see if you can do a MN meet up! :)

That is amazing! A good happy future for you and your lovely DD.

It is really nice to hear there are good SW out there too.

If you have the strength please consider taking your complaint about the first SW as far as you can it may help others she is 'managing'.

Don't forget we are always here when you are 200 miles away from everyone and everything you are used to and feeling a little lonely.

Wow that was fast!

so pleased, enjoy your new life.

That's really fantastic news and I'm so glad you were able to get the help you needed to get so much put into action today. Keep doing what you are doing and keep us updated on how you get on.

Lovely, fantastic news. Please keep posting. We are concerned, and want to help.

Please make sure you log every contact with your dh and his family, write it down yourself and tell the dv unit at the police, as well as any other agencies you're involved with - HV, GP, SS, Women's Aid, whoever. At some point there will be a court hearing to determine contact and you will need as much documented as you can in order to keep your lo safe.

:) yes it was acted up as soon as I mentioned the weekend incident re the baby. I still do feel the old sw left things until too late but I just feel there is so much to work on rather than make more complaints about her neglect and unprofessional conduct. Mark you, if the complain is in any way going to benefit me in court ie assuming ex H will want to get custody of baby, then I swear I will make a complain.

jomato you were absolutely very helpful, I re-read you advice over and over again to get a clear strategy on how I was going to 'demand' for a new sw. Thank you so much.

jux that's very true but according to the new sw, there is no court hearing (because I have ran away from dv) not unless H wasn't to try to get custody of the baby, then I will as armed as a soldier. I will start gathering all the dates and docs of the saga events and pass copies to my new solicitor. I have ref no from DV team and I'm sure it will be very relevant.

Hmm isolation now will kick in! As an introvert, its pretty tough to make friends, believe you me :) . But, really I wish i meet new wonderful rl people, genuine and non-judge mental as you all have been through out! :) :) will certainly keep in touch. This has been one difficult moment of my life and I have come out of it stronger and happier :)

See if WA can get you some counselling. You've been abused for some time, and probably need some help to make sense of how you got into that situation in the first place, as well as how to avoid it again in the future so you can recognize the signs early on and avoid people like that. Also, you might benefit from some help to remember who you were before the abuse started, heal yourself and make yourself whole again. That way you can rest assured that your dd won't ever get into a situation like that herself.

Very best of luck to you. I'm sure you will make friends.

What wonderful news!!! Congratulations!!! So lovely to hear. And a new SW as well!!! Of course you will make new friends, and create a wonderful life up there , and whatever they throw at you, you can throw back twice as hard! Please let us know how you get on :)

I think Jux has a very good point about counselling, it's about building on the strength you've found to help you face the challenges to come. A freedom programme would also be useful but don't be pushed into taking on too much if you don't feel ready straight away.
As far as making friends is concerned your DD can definitely help there. People tend to make new friendships when they have young babies so why don't you contact your local children's/sure start centre. They usually have family support workers who could talk you through what's on and support you to attend group and meet other mums.

lovelymummy47 big hugs to you. well done!! you willdefinitely make friends don't worry! try and do one little thing every day to make you and baby giggle :-)

if you are not sure about anything, write to us here, you definitely have friends here :-)

jux and Jomato its very true I do need to seek councelling to heal myself from this awful life experience I have had to go through and most important I do need my life back :) I need to remember how life was without worrying that H and in-laws are planning something dreadful against me. Its really sad because I still feel I love my husband and its a shame he couldn't create boundaries with his family in the beginning,, however I can never come back to this again. It was dead hard to admit I was being abused and bullied and worse even trying to get out of the r'ship due to a series of DV was twice hard.

I really hope someone can be inspired by how I tried to be strong enough for the sake of my dd and my health. I know, so many mums on here are victims of DV and they fear leaving mainly due to financial difficulties that they would face. I did at first,(plus I knew I had to leave) but I was in great fear and the situation escalated from bad to worse.

Anyway, I couldn't have done it without you all. Starry once I read your post(that I have to pull myself together and be strong, present myself well and have a clear strategy before getting there) hit my nerves in a real +ve way and I knew that was just what I needed to hear.thank you lots.

Once I get there, hope its not very remote :) i will certainly let you all know how I get on. I have a feeling its all gonna turn out well. I'm used to a fast busy life in London and I really loved it(when I was working). Have no clue how country life is like, hope ill adapt soonest. :)

Well done for getting this far - good luck in your new home and new life with your DD

All the best lovely mummy. I'm hoping you drive as it will help being out in the country and even if you don't, when you can, take driving lessons.

I live out in the sticks too but close to a train and I'm always planning trips to London pushing the pram about going to Liberties / Fortnum Masons etc (just to peruse mind!). There will be other cities/towns closer to you with everything you need as well (for that John Lewis fix!) .

But the first thing is to get to your destination, unpack and settle in. Then perhaps later on...take a nice bath this evening AND relax .

Lovely been lurking & following your story SO glad you've had a good outcome...you are so brave & AMAZING!!

2 bits of advice if moving to the country (from one who had 2 very little ones after moving to the sticks from London years ago)

1- When you get settled,find the nearest village shop/pub/community centre & use it as a way of making new friends-go to absolutely everything even if its not your thing just at first. I turned up at church coffee mornings, book clubs, bazzars, fetes etc. you'll soon suss out what's going on. If they have a village magazine get hold of that it's invaluable.

2- When you have time look at this helpful & you can do it online Really helps you to see your exes behaviour in a new light.

Good luck-keep us updated!