Leave Me Alone you Monsters!!

[lovelymummy47]

Yes! I mean it, my H, Sil, Mil and Social Services. These four people have made my life a misery and I feel so hopeless and useless.

Please Be my guest and read about my misery, please don't be judge mental and abusive. I am a vulnerable being and at the moment I just need help and support rather than criticism.

I have a dd(7mnths) with my H, who since our baby was born has been emotionally, physically and mentally abusive :( He has a great life! No help with, baby neither house chores,plus going out when and wherever he wants! I am left at home with a baby, pnd and a huge house full of demons. More to it, he is a cheat, not once but several times with diff stupid OW. Stupid bastard!

Mil, has a phd in using emotional blackmail! Ever since me and her son moved in together, she always wanted to spend time with him and constantly calling him and compulsively lying how she needs him in her house????!!! Great hubby would abandon aLL our plans to attend to this monster no2. She even blackmailed my H to come to our honeymoon hotel?? Who does that in this universe?? I have kissed hubby(a goodbye kiss on the cheek) whilst mil was there ans she snapped and left the house claiming H is ignoring her? Are you nuts?? I kept this to myself and put up with it for soo long but seriously, MIL you need therapy, your relationship with H is very unhealthy.

Sil, she is 34yrs old, living with her mum, she can't cook, clean, or even dress well yet she has the guts to stalk me around the town to update her brother(H) about my every move! Now since H left a month ago, she claims she last saw me with a taxi driver?????? If I had a chance, I could penetrate my nails under your old wrinkled skin. I have and I am very faithful to my H, never ever have I thought of cheating on him cause I have always loved him. Her ex H ran away from this family, 6mnths after marrying her.(What a shame) and Yes, Monster no3 leave me alone!

Social S, got involved with my fam after I reported H (finally) after sooo many months of abuse. They are doing nothing to help me. The SW involved in my case, is siding with H and she has seen him several times at the office and outside the office??? H has convinced her that I am mentally ill, saying I sleep around (I told him I have been sexually assaulted in the past and showed him docs) How stupid was I talking to a bastard about my past without knowing he'd use that as a weapon? The SW has not made an effort to contact me whatsoever. So, I have no money, no food and sW is doing nothing to protect the child involved. I'm left to wonder what is the ss about? SW is not willing to help, your monster no4 and leave me alone too!!

I am left fighting for myself, seen a doc about my pnd and she prescribed anti-ds. I'm reluctant to take them as I've heard people get addicted to them and can't function without them in the future, therefore I requested councelling or some sort of therapy. Its been six months and she is not of help at all. What I'm I supposed to do now? How do I survive? How do I cope looking after the baby 24/7 and nobody seems to understand my situation? My world is crumbling and I don't know where to start, H demolished my self esteem and confidence. :( :( :( :( when I look at my baby everytime I burst into tears because I feel sorry for her. It wasn't her plan to come into this world but here she is, with a helpless hopeless mother. :( please, don't criticise me, I can't take anymore cricism. :( :(

awww i feel so bad that these people are treating you so shit. Ive never liked ss... and that after my mum and dad have fostered kids for my whole life. i dont like or trust them and i find them sneaky, unreliable and two faced. Ive never had dealings with them thank god but from stories i get about each childs situation that goes to my mum n dads door they make my blood boil. I am seething that they seem to be siding with your H without any facts from you. I hate them. good luck today xxx

Lovelymummy, how are you this a.m.? Sorry I disappeared last night, things happen in rl and it's soooooo inconvenient sometimes!

Have you managed to get someone to come round and e with you for tis meeting? Take deep breaths as they really do help to calm down if you're stressed or feeling put upon. I whatever she says, take a note of it and repeat it back to her. Try not to get upset. If you feel you are getting upset, take some deep breaths - you don't ever need to respond immediately and can always take time to process information - then respond.

In my (admittedly limited) experience, SWs actually do want to help. It's just a question of how, and how much. The calmer you can be, the more likely it is you'll get what you want.

Good luck.

Sounds like he is bullshiting you about the sw.

I think you have had loads of good advice here, I don't need to add much.
Except to say anti depressants are not addictive. You will be warned not to just stop taking them, because stopping quickly can cause weird side effects like dizziness, you just have to come off gradually. Not addictive at all. And they really will help.

I hope all goes okay today. Please make sure you have a friend there, get her to take notes, is there any chance your HV might be able to come along? If today does fail, don't lose hope : ring your HV back, and contact womens aid. You can do this. And don't worry about getting addicted to the anti depressants for now, they can give you the support to get through this time and you will be able to come of them when needed in time. We are all here to talk , usually even at 2am ! And remember, even if your SW does not turn up, your HV believes you, we all believe you, and womens aid will believe you. Does your doctor know the situation, as this may be a good thing to get recorded, as they can be a good support.

Can you get the HV to be there during the SW visit?

I would suggest recording the meeting or have someone take notes while SW is there.

How did it go, Lovely?

:( hand holding and thinking of you OP in this very very sad experience you are living.

Can you call womans aid...surely this would be a perfect example of someone needing to go to a refuge for your own physical, emotional and mental well being. This man has threatened serious violence and so surprised that HV or SW haven't thought of this as a very very serious situation.

PLEASE PLEASE CALL WOMANS AID...can someone post a link with the telephone number...your town or nearest city OP should have a local number/office too.

I truely believe you for your own protection should go to a refuge even if its just for a weekend to get help against this abuse.

Good luck...sending love and solidarity

xx

PS THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT AND YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!!!!!!!!! No matter what this vile man and his vile family say !!!!!!!!!

Thank all so much for your support and advice,I will certainly give the Anti-ds a go so that I can cope with this awful situation much better.

The SW turned up today and we had a heated up conversation because she is being biased(on H side) and its unfortunate my friend couldn't make it to be there with me during the app. So, after your great advice everybody, I will make a complain about her to her supervisor and request for a neutral SW who actually will prioritize my baby. Its very nasty that H has been very abusive at all angles (emotionally, physically and mentally) and yet after voicing my self out to the SW, she doesn't seem to care that much,i don't know what's going on btwn her and H .

I will spend the weekend doing my dd's laundry and mines too, prepare enough food and freeze, pack my stuff and by tuesday next week I will run to seek refuge and leave this abusive monster. I hope I can cope and be strong. If anyone here has done this, please tell me what steps you took and how yours went as I don't have a clue of what to expect. Fingers cross H doesn't turn up in the middle of my secret mission to rescue myself and dd :( :( I feel soo horrid taking dd away from him but I guess it worth it a million times!

bumping for you, good luck with your new life :)

Good luck!

So wrong that you are having to do this. There is something terribly wrong with this SW that you feel you have no other options but to run away to a refuge to get away from her supporting your H!

You need to make it very clear in your complaint that she has made the situation intolerable. If you are sure she is seeing your H outside working relationship how inappropriate and unprofessional she is and that she should have transferred your case herself!

By the way from the number of threads on this website where a H has done nothing wrong by taking a child away from the mother it is with for 24 hours a day for a few days without her agreement and the police cannot bring the child back.

I would like to see how the SW would enforce you going away for the weekend being stopped!

Lovely, do you have family with whom you are on good terms? Could they help?

There is no reason at all why you shouldn't go visiting friends or family, and I think you should do that, and then stay there.

Is the house you are living in now rented or yours? If it's rented, you could leave it and let h occupy it. How is it being paid for?

Are you receiving any benefits?

Try CAB, a free half hour with a solicitor, but above all phone Women's Aid.

I think you need some advice before you go - legal or otherwise. And I would get support in regards to complaining about the SW , just to make sure that they don't attempt to close ranks. Have you noted every incident, what she said, date, time? Can you contact your HV for advice? Did you go to the doctors, as by them knowing this can really help you in the long run. You can do this! It might be worth posting on legal for some basic advice, or calling womens aid so you know what you will need, support etc. You can do it, you can be strong! Is there anyone who can come and support you, stay with you the weekend and help you pack?

Oh my God what more do I do???? H came along with Sil to collect baby and spend the weekend with her (had no choice coz SW made it clear I can't stop H seeing his daughter).
And now, he has been texting me that, the baby looks veeery distressed, apparently she has two marks on her chest and he demands I have to expalin what they are( he is simply saying I have abused dd) WHAT the HELL?!! I love my dd with my whole entire heart , soul body and mind. She brought joy into my heart since the first day I knew she was in my blessed womb.
Oh God, I think H wants to accusse me falsely because he has threatened to take the baby away from me so many times and I have text messages to prove. Him and and sil and mil got me locked up in a mental institution claiming that I am mentally ill???(This is part of his emotional abuse to me among physical, financial and verbal abuses) The docs ruled out the false accussations and she wrote aletter to prove that I am very healthy and no signs whatsoever of mental illnes! But she did say i do have mild pnd that required counselling, and hence she released me from that crazy nast place and referred me to my doc.
These guys want to take my dd away, what do I do?? Should I go and take her away tomorrow from him and ran away? Should I wait till monday to seek legal advice?? I have already emailed the Solace womens aid and explained part of this awful saga, but I have to wait till monday for them to contact me, otherwise I don't know what to do before then.
I don't want H to hurt the baby and then claim its me. Should I call the police??? OH my God someone tell me what to do please please talk to me, I'm crying soo much..:( :(

0808 2000 247 is the national helpline for womans aid please ring this number immediately for advice and support.

I personally try get a refuge immediately and physical help getting baby back. They cannot force you to hand over your baby..how old is she? There is something very wrong about all of this.

I am so so sorry but I have no relevant experience in this field but you need to ring womans aid and I would also call the police and speak to their dom violence team for advice, support and make a statement.

Thinking of you OP :( x

your baby is probably distressed because shes away from you, her comfort, provider and mother :( these people are animals :(

Please someone with relevant experience come along and post....

MamaMassageMe, thank you for your advice, i didn't know what to do as I was 100% sure that H and sil would hurt the baby (7mnths) then take pictures as evidence that 'I' did it! So, I dialed 999 and reported ASAP, took some bus fare and phone and reported the whole thing as I headed to sil house. I had to wait for a while before the police arrived as I couldn't get in their she without back up, and thank God when they arrived I explained how H is violent and has been abusing me and threatening to take my dd away.(Hence he would do anything to her and claim I am responsible.
The distress bit, its absolutely due to separation. She is used to me 24/7 and H is never at home/spend time with her.So being away from me, is stressing her quite a lot. So, the police called an ambulance to check the baby and she has been taken to the hosp for proper check up to make sure they havnt done anything to her.Was asked to come back home and wait for. Phone call to update me what to do next.
Finger crossed everything is ok with my sweet little girl and I have already packed our bags, on Monday I am running away to seek refuge! I am absolutely tired of H and sil and mil.

I'm really sorry you are having such a difficult time. Please don't run away without letting SS know where you are going as this could really play into your exs hands. The situation has escalated and SS are likely to be very concerned about what has happened over the weekend. It will be reported by the police and hospital. If you go without discussing you will make the situation worse. As I said before if you don't feel you can talk to your social worker ring and ask to talk to her manager. I think you need to go to a solicitor as soon as possible and get some advice about contact and SS involvement.

Just wanted to add re. SW call. In schools when SS call, unless we know the person we always call back as it's not at all unusual for people to impersonate a SW to find out info or make trouble. Also, if SW is too 'involved' report it.
At least try the ADs they will help you see a bit clearer.
Take care!

How come you have been sent home while DD is at the hospital?

Who is there with her? Why were you not allowed to stay with her?

Did your H go with her?

A 7 month old in a strange environment with lots of strangers (hospital and hospital staff) without her mummy isn't good in my opinion!

This is quite extraordinary, Lovely. Who is at the hospital with her?

Whereabouts are you? The SS services there seem to be operating on a completely different set of rules to the rest of UK. They need to be exposed. And as for being sent home to to wait while your 7m old is in a hospital, well, just

First up, take the tablets.

No, I disagree. Don't take the tablets. They will - at best - mask your problems. You can sort this out without them. Secondly, it is not unheard of for SW's to act unprofessionally and it seems like this is what is happening here. Thirdly, call Women's Aid: 0808 2000 247. Oh, and keep posting on here - you will, I am sure, get loads of support.

Best of luck xxx