Leave Me Alone you Monsters!!

[lovelymummy47]

Yes! I mean it, my H, Sil, Mil and Social Services. These four people have made my life a misery and I feel so hopeless and useless.

Please Be my guest and read about my misery, please don't be judge mental and abusive. I am a vulnerable being and at the moment I just need help and support rather than criticism.

I have a dd(7mnths) with my H, who since our baby was born has been emotionally, physically and mentally abusive :( He has a great life! No help with, baby neither house chores,plus going out when and wherever he wants! I am left at home with a baby, pnd and a huge house full of demons. More to it, he is a cheat, not once but several times with diff stupid OW. Stupid bastard!

Mil, has a phd in using emotional blackmail! Ever since me and her son moved in together, she always wanted to spend time with him and constantly calling him and compulsively lying how she needs him in her house????!!! Great hubby would abandon aLL our plans to attend to this monster no2. She even blackmailed my H to come to our honeymoon hotel?? Who does that in this universe?? I have kissed hubby(a goodbye kiss on the cheek) whilst mil was there ans she snapped and left the house claiming H is ignoring her? Are you nuts?? I kept this to myself and put up with it for soo long but seriously, MIL you need therapy, your relationship with H is very unhealthy.

Sil, she is 34yrs old, living with her mum, she can't cook, clean, or even dress well yet she has the guts to stalk me around the town to update her brother(H) about my every move! Now since H left a month ago, she claims she last saw me with a taxi driver?????? If I had a chance, I could penetrate my nails under your old wrinkled skin. I have and I am very faithful to my H, never ever have I thought of cheating on him cause I have always loved him. Her ex H ran away from this family, 6mnths after marrying her.(What a shame) and Yes, Monster no3 leave me alone!

Social S, got involved with my fam after I reported H (finally) after sooo many months of abuse. They are doing nothing to help me. The SW involved in my case, is siding with H and she has seen him several times at the office and outside the office??? H has convinced her that I am mentally ill, saying I sleep around (I told him I have been sexually assaulted in the past and showed him docs) How stupid was I talking to a bastard about my past without knowing he'd use that as a weapon? The SW has not made an effort to contact me whatsoever. So, I have no money, no food and sW is doing nothing to protect the child involved. I'm left to wonder what is the ss about? SW is not willing to help, your monster no4 and leave me alone too!!

I am left fighting for myself, seen a doc about my pnd and she prescribed anti-ds. I'm reluctant to take them as I've heard people get addicted to them and can't function without them in the future, therefore I requested councelling or some sort of therapy. Its been six months and she is not of help at all. What I'm I supposed to do now? How do I survive? How do I cope looking after the baby 24/7 and nobody seems to understand my situation? My world is crumbling and I don't know where to start, H demolished my self esteem and confidence. :( :( :( :( when I look at my baby everytime I burst into tears because I feel sorry for her. It wasn't her plan to come into this world but here she is, with a helpless hopeless mother. :( please, don't criticise me, I can't take anymore cricism. :( :(

Why on earth couldn't you go to the hospital with your baby? Who did?

What tablets have you been prescribed? I've taken some before and they really helped. They were not addictive although i had a few side effects. Not everyone does though.

Xales, it sounds like there are some serious Child Protection concerns here, so both parents will be investigated. Which is why the OP has been asked to go home.

Take the tablets, I have felt 100 times better since being on mine a d can cope with day to day again .

Ring SS and ask for a different SW.

OP is the baby home yet?
I am really confused. Who is with the baby? Surely they wouldn't let the baby be at the hospital alone. By they I mean the doctors and sw.

Please call womens aid here - and SS if necessary before you run. They are trying to cause you all sorts of distress here and it will only get worse - you MUST take action now. Well done for calling the police, but it will not stop here. Have you spoken to the police, about speaking to a domestic violence officer at the station?? But please - take the help you can get - you need support. They cannot take your baby off you - but they can try and make it extremely difficult. Are you okay??

What the hell? Poor lovely please tell us what is happening today, need to know how things are...

Really no more questions other than what people have said above. I know you were stressed last time we 'talked' on here - so I am glad that there are people here offering such great support and advice.

Hope you and baby are ok today OP

purplePidjin yes there are serious child protection concerns and I am not hiding anything from anyone, rather, I have tried my best to raise concerns to the sw but like I explained she is very biased(on H side) hence the neglect.
Now I am very sure that H will start directing his violence towards the baby when he takes her away for weekend sleep overs(the sw made it clear I can not stop him from seeing his child).

NotGeoff how lovely to see you back, I couldn't follow up with our previous convo as I got caught up in all this chaos. But you were right that I would benefit from posting on here for support and advice.

Thank you all for support, let me make this more clear, when I called the police they came asap and the ambulance took the baby to the hospital for proper check up. The reason why the police suggested I come back home was for my own safety. If H found out I called the police, he would have come here and abuse me physically, second, I had packed my bags ready to seek refuge on monday( have already contacted the Women's Aid) and therefore I had to lock the house from inside to make sure that H doent turn up and find my suitcases packed up. (Hope this makes it clear why it was best I stay away)
The police also had mentioned if the pediatrics think its very serious, they would call me and I would have to go to the hops and stay with baby. So, they were doing the first safety procedures.

please, I mentioned that I can't take any more criticism,I can't take any more, I am already doing as much as possible to get myself and dd away from this violent man that I married. I love my little girl more than anything, H and in-laws are very determined to take her away from me and I am certain that they would do anything to paint me bad so that they can get custody of the baby. Put yourself in my shoes before saying anything. I don't have any family around and the few friends I had, H stopped me from seeing them and now its not the time to start looking for my old friends and expalain reasons why I never see them. He has constantly abused me and now the baby is at risk.
I did go to the hosp this morning to get a record of the happenings and was informed that the doc released the baby early this morning with H and sil. So, apparently they will bring her back tomorrow at 7am.
I'm really terrified he might insist on coming into the house :( :( :(

BlondeWithFreckles I actually think you're right, taking the tablets will mask my problems. I do want to get better asap but right now I feel I have the energy to do all I can to protect my baby. I guess this is just natural given how much I love my dd. I don't know how the anti-d's work but I believe they tend to interfere with how a certain hormone works in the body.
But as soon as I seek refuge and I'm out of here with dd, I will start taking them.

One more thing, this whole procedure is new to the system, it was created after the Baby P incident. The police explained to me this whole thing that any baby under 2yrs old who the police have been called(like I did) to make sure they are ok, have to be taken to the hospital for specialist check up. With my dd, the sw is neglecting her too but according to the pediatric( I spoke to at the hospital this morning), there were no injuries. So, H was threatening but this is a first. I know him very well and how he operates. He will soon start directing his evil action to my poor dd.

You dont had to send your child to contact just because your SW said so.

You don't have to send your child to contact at all unless the Courts say otherwise (and if your H went to Court for contact, he would certainly be awarded it).

If you genuinely believe your child is at risk of physical harm from your H then you would be absurd to send her to him. At the end of the day, you are a parent, you are responsible for the safety of your child. If you think your social worker has got it wrong, then you don't have to follow this particular piece of advice.

Suspend contact and see a solicitor ASAP.

Like the previous poster said, it's not down to the SW wether you send your child to contact. They can advise all they like but unless a judge says so you don't have to do a thing! Please call SS, ask to speak to someone other than this SW.

GrasshopperNchipmunk thank you for that, I am absolutely absurd because I don't know how the law works. If I knew I can refuse to let dd go, I would 100% ! I have never been in this situation before and I had no idea how to deal with it, that's the reason why I posted on her for advice from other mums who have faced a similar situation or rather who know how the law works.
The biased sw made it clear, atm H has full rights to the baby until the day we go to court! My naïve nature made me believe her. And one more thing, I wish I recorded my convo with this sw, she was telling me that my H needs someone like her?! Someone who can stand up to him like she does. What was she suggesting here? There's a bell ringing she might have a thing for him, stupid witch.
Showmethemhappyfeet that's very good advice, I am going to their offices tomorrow morning as soon as dd is back and will insist I speak to the manager to get a neutral sw who will prioritize my dd, and seek refuge after that.

The way that anti D's work is to stop the happy chemical from being reabsorbed into the brain so it keep you on an even keel if you are depressed. It is entirely your choice if you take them of course but just wanted to explain how they work.

Personally I used to say I would never take them, but they have made me feel normal again. I was sat around crying every day, not eating, unable to work. After I went on the pills , after a few days I could feel a difference and after two weeks I felt "normal" again able to deal with everyday life. I did it as I couldn't carry on like that with a 4yo to look after.

But you will get through it one way or another.

Please do go to a refuge and then get Legal advice and ring SS. Good luck.

And I am tired of posting here because some people do not seem to have read my whole thread and they just jump into conclusions then I end up having to explain myself over and over again. This is the last I'm posting.

Thanks to those wonderful mums who have been of great help, posting websites and emergency numbers and offering immediate advice. I can't thank you enough. God bless you all. I will do all I can, using the advice I have from you to get myself and dd safe and in a happy environment. Hopefully once I'm settled I will let you know.

These are for you

I wasnt criticising you, I was trying to give you advice about how you could manage the situation.

skyebluesapphire thank you for the advice. I hope you are doing well now. You happened to have posted whilst I was typing.

Sorry, I really didn't mean it to sound offensive to you. I've worked in Child protection and family law for donkeys years, so thought it might help... Obviously not.

I hope you are still reading. I don't think anyone is trying to make you feel they don't believe you but they want to understand what is happening and why in order to be able to give you sensible advice.

I just wanted to add a bit of advice on trying to get a new social worker. The manager may be reluctant to change your social worker because it's something that is requested very regularly when families are unhappy about decisions made (which I'm sure you can imagine happens pretty regularly!). I would try to avoid accusing the social worker of having any inappropriate relationship with your ex, the manager is unlikely to believe you and that will become the focus of the discussions rather than the fact that you feel unsupported and that she is just believing his version of events. Stay calm and explain that you feel she is not taking on board what you are saying and that you feel unsupported. It's not unusual for a social worker to make visits outside of most peoples normal working hours. I'm a social worker and I often make visits after 6pm simply because it's the only way to fit everything in.
It's also not unusual to meet outside of the office, usually I would either visit at home or ask people to come to the office however I have at times met in cafes if necessary in the situation. You can trust me that I was never having an inappropriate relationship with anyone involved.

lovelymummy , none means to be criticising you : just a lot of us were all very worried earlier when you didn't respond, as we were not only scared for your baby but for you. You have done amazingly, and well done for contacting Womens Aid and the police. Have you thought about the police being home when they drop your baby off to help you? Please don't feel you have to respond to every post , but everyone is just trying to help in what must be such a difficult situation. Maybe posting in the special place, which I am sure someone can direct you to would be a better solution . I am sure the refuge is just what you need, and you will get all the help you need, but please keep posting just to let us know your okay and if you need anything. Good luck :)

Lovely I am glad that you are getting some help and support here and that you are taking all the steps you can to get away.
The SW sounds very unprofessional to me; I have a friend who works with abused children and she would never take sides, regardless of who she though was in the right. This seems to be allowing personal interests to get in the way of professional judgement.
It certainly sounds as though you do need some legal advice though, especially if you are (rightly) concerned for your baby's wellbeing.

Keep us posted with regard to how you're doing. I'm glad you got in touch with the refuge and with the police. x

yes, please keep posting, you are doing the right thing and people are trying to help. I understand it can feel like criticism as I felt like that to start with when i started posting on here, but not everybody is going to have the same opinions as you or each other, but everybody is trying to help in their own way.

Good luck

Lovely

:( Right now everything is so big and so ugly..I can see how you may have been offended but please know that we are all here and posting to assist where we can and utilise how skills/experiences to maybe shed light. You must know that none of this is YOUR fault. So if posting here gave you more postivies then negatives then you should continue..if not..I wish you all the love and luck in the world, it sounds like things are about to get very turbulant.

I pray your baby comes back to you like promised and that you can make an escape to a refuge. I'm sure they will assist and support legal access for you and you can begin your journey along those lines.

I will be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts and love to the universe to find you

xx

lovelymummy47 (great name btw). How did your meeting go with SW? Please do let us now how it went. How are you feeling today?

You need to pull yourself together. OK - On the INSIDE you don't feel like you can but you need to at least put on show to these social workers. Really thing in advance before you meetings - get a strategy together and try and win these people over. The more you look happy and taking care of yourself and your children, the more they will think you are being perfectly reasonably. I know it's bloody hard to do it but we are on HUMAN on a basic level and it's hard not to judge on appearances. If I were in your shoes, I'd show every bit of strong woman to these 'monsters' (then cry myself later on!!).

If you can - keep records of all text messages and emails.

Buy a tape recorder (if you have a smart phone, download a voice recording app, they are quite cheap to buy) and start taping conversations. It may help if you ever legally pursue him and he tries one on you that you're 'demented' when you are not.

Do NOT handover your baby to him. Change the locks. ONLY hand over your baby to him when you have both agreed a mutually convenient time and period for this arrangement. Anything else is bullying and possibly assault and CALL the police if you get physical harrassment.

Buy a second pay as you go mobile phone and have your real friends and family you love call you on this new number. The first phone (that your MIL, SIL and EX) can reach you on, turn OFF and only turn on perhaps once a day when you mentally think you can deal with their calls/messages.

You need to get back into control and FEEL in control. Keep & know your boundaries from these vile people, work on yourself and get stronger. Have the TV, write to us here, read magazines (hello/OK always does it for me when I'm depressed), start planning short trips away, even if it's just down the road to the library with your baby. Keep occupied.

Take it one day at a time. And write to us here, we're here for you hugs