I think my husband hates me

[NaturalOptimist]

Sorry, not really posted before and don't know where to start. My husband is so horrible to me, I feel like I cry every day. He just came home from work and said he was going to put the rubbish out. I asked him (nicely!) to add a piece of cardboard that was in the garden to it and he got so angry with me. Said I should pull my thumb out and do it myself, that I'm selfish, always making demands on him. I work full time and do 90% of the housework, rush home from work to look after our DD (18 months) so he can go to work part-time. I feel so isolated, no family in the UK, never go out and have any fun. He says it's because I'm so selfish that I don't have many friends, but I don't think I am. I try to be kind and treat other people with respect.

Crying so much, I can't see to type.

Fgs, this is an old thread!!!!!!

I've reported the weird spam.

Anyfucker. While I get your frustration, I've been in that situation before and it's bloody hard to do the right thing when your self esteem is zero, and I had family and friends. The OP clearly doesn't.

When you're with an abuser, they're good at manipulating your mind and making you feel like you're in the wrong.

Old thread

I wonder how the op of this zombie thread is doing

my husband works in the hospitality trade, and he is a;ways late home, he knows i m depressed, but seems to not give a shit, i rang him about 20 mins ago at work as he told me he would be finished for 2100 , its now 22.20 no sign of any call or text nothing so i called his work to spk to him , he tried to make out it was me that he said hed be finished at 22.00 which i know he did not. I have some memory problems but its more words that i lose not things like this. when i called he said hed be back soon , i said no i want you to leave now 13 hrs now . he said ok and hung up. where is he now still at work im sure he is trying to get me to end out marriage, Weve not been intimate for over a year, first he blamed losing his father but its not that as weve been intimate since he passed away . i think hes gone off me as being disabled for past 6 yrs ive put on weight as i cannot move around very much without pain. so if im being newrotic please tell me .. im sure hes up to something ... this is the 3rd job this yr i think this is another tatic to put pressure on us so again ill give him reason to say that i told him to go.
desperate here

my husband works in the hospitality trade, and he is a;ways late home, he knows i m depressed, but seems to not give a shit, i rang him about 20 mins ago at work as he told me he would be finished for 2100 , its now 22.20 no sign of any call or text nothing so i called his work to spk to him , he tried to make out it was me that he said hed be finished at 22.00 which i know he did not. I have some memory problems but its more words that i lose not things like this. when i called he said hed be back soon , i said no i want you to leave now 13 hrs now . he said ok and hung up. where is he now still at work im sure he is trying to get me to end out marriage, Weve not been intimate for over a year, first he blamed losing his father but its not that as weve been intimate since he passed away . i think hes gone off me as being disabled for past 6 yrs ive put on weight as i cannot move around very much without pain. so if im being newrotic please tell me .. im sure hes up to something ... this is the 3rd job this yr i think this is another tatic to put pressure on us so again ill give him reason to say that i told him to go.
desperate here

sorry for repeat post thought it hadnt gone

caz I would trust your instinct, that he's up to something, possibly OW. You know it's not your imagination. I'm very sorry. If you decide to end the relationship there is another thread on here at the moment regarding what to do next before you tell him you know. You need to get your ducks in a row, getting financial papers, sentimental items etc safely stored at a friend's, neighbour's for example.
Start a new thread of your own for support. This one is very old.

He does hate you.

Hate the fucker right back and leave him.

My partner of 10 years brother died in September totally unexpected ..... I've tried to be there for him but to be honest I'm feeling like I can't do this anymore ... I have 3 daughter's from b4 we got together my oldest have left home my youngest is 13 and we have a 6 year old together .. He also has 3 daughter's with ex partners.... I have always been independent... but I feel like a fool ... I pay everything I mean everything .. rent bills food shop... I breed pug dogs and he earns his own money buying and selling stuff ... I made a decent amount of money from a rare coloured pug I produced .. I bought myself a nice car ... now hes calling me a money grabber ... bearing in mind ive kept this man for 10 years .... my family are all at the other end of the country .. lately im felling so depressed... I'm sick of crying he knows I had 2 bad partners who abused me before him as we were friends for years b4 getting together .... he's horrible to the point he's calling me cold and a narssist in front of my 2 youngest ... dumb blonde was another name he called me to our little girl the other day .. I don't know what to do I tried to speak to his mum the other day and obvs she's going to agree with him she thinks my dogs are also his and I should pay vet bills .. to feed my dogs and children and him keep a roof over our heads pay all the bills but hand him half of my money ... is it just me or is It them who are the money grabbers ... bearing in mind he's 53 years old I've worked since I was 12 I'm 44 brought my oldest kids up on my own now I'm supposed to be with him I've got the added pressure of his abuse every day .. to the point I've got IBS and a possible ulcer .. through stress

He brings nothing to your marriage. Your life would be better without him in every way

Zombie thread

I totally understand the thought of having no support is stopping you. Please just think about how he is treating you and that you deserve better than this. He probably knows you feel trapped and is using this to abuse you even more.
Please stand up to him. Pack his stuff, throw it out and change the locks. Go and see a solicitor too!
What gives him the right to treat you like dirt?? can you answer that?

Firstly I'm thankful it wasn't my first relationship, I have not realised in my younger years how I've. Wen treated with such respect and attention, maybe I thought that's what you get in every relationship, sadly I wasn't madly in love with the other men like I was when I met my husband , now I'm not in love just traumatised... insecure wreck ... unsure , and have spent my time looking after my children feeling the loneliest and the Sade at I've ever felt in my life all because it was safe for the children , I used to be full of confidence happiness and love ..now I'm drained , disappointed and I know it's the d word , divorce ...equals happiness . I'm pretty sure now I've been the best convenience marriage ever , easy life stupid wife ... everything that's gone wrong in his life is my fault even my fault he went to jail .... him and his mates got a kick out of crime ...I have been where I am many times but took him back ..only to be on the same page two weeks down the line , 16 years is enough to learn that it has to end , last night he ruined my night out apparently I was an embarrassment for dancing in a club , then later on last night apparently I'm a slag , straight away he drags up the time he was in jail, regrettably I'm not but wish I was .... do not understand why I married such a cruel minded man . He does not work so what little money I get goes directly on food and bills , there's not much left . When I say I feel lonely I do I feel so insecure, , he even controls sex , which I find strange he does not hug and is far to busy for any kind of affection, I'm now past being upset , I'm praying for it all to be over and I hope I have an happy ending. I'm not an unattractive woman I still take extremely good care of my self , I've had plenty of offers which I'm flattered , I feel selfish that I should want more from my life at 41 , I feel guilty for my children , but I really can't cope with his aggression in a loveless in affectionate marriage of covienience..I'm always impressed with how different is is wen he's out , I'm pretty sure people think he's wonderful, and as much as I loved him if he ran off with someone els it wud be a great realease, I have to be honest with my self that I'm not really loosing anything that I never had anyway ... be free be happy 😊 good luck to everyone x

My husband told me I wasn't allowed to cry .. because it pissed him off because I'm a stupid bitch ... stranger still I never told a soul about him .. today I've told my mom all my good freinds and my sisters there shocked 😳

Be good to get an update on how the original post member is getting on with her husbands unacceptable behaviour.

All of this! I’ve been struggling under the same for a few years.
jjst blatant seething hatred and disrespect as he fucks off. He gets our kid to school(sometimes) but then is waist high in freedom and personal time.
he literally booked a solo vacation to Spain)I haven’t had time off since Sep ‘23. He works at a school so has all the term dates off, btw). He’s gone down and partied for a week with his cousin, then a week in the states with his “bros”
I think he only cancelled because his mum told him she couldn’t take our daughter at 6am(when I work) and then at 330am(when I go to work twice a week).
Pick up, laundry, entertaining, QT, cleaning, school prep me. Yup all me. On top of immigration crap he is blissfully ignorant off.
the amount of times I’ve thrown this meaningless ring in the trash.
ooh leave him! How? I can’t do crap without being shipped back to nothing in a country utterly unsafe for my daughter. No money, no job, no shack, no healthcare, no education.