being kicked for falling asleep, am i in an abusive marriage?

[middleagedblonde]

After a long day out, we finally got home at 12.30, tired and with no doubt too much alcohol inside us, BUT, I went straight to bed, only to be rudely woken up by being kicked in the ribs and then punched in the side. Not so hard that I have a massive bruise but nevertheless- this is not right, surely. He says I dont make time for 'sex', I say we need a quiet night in, not nights out drinking with mates. He never declines an invite. I can only cope with one night in a row, ie Friday or Saturday. He wants to go out all the time and have sex all the time, and shouts at me for 2 hours or more if I surgest that I am tired at 1am, then I wish I had just said ok as I would have gotten to sleep half an hour later without all this ranting and raving. The kick is not on, does he need to go to anger management or is it my fault for being too damn tired?
Do you ever say no? My dh always complains that 2-3 times a week is now where near enough, I think it is plenty. I am 46 with 3 children, but, don't work.

Absolutely fucking bastard! Yes, he's abusive .

You are in abusive relationship

Please call Women's Aid for advice when your partner is not around

Can you explain why this has to be pointed out to you ? I think that is very important here.

You know this is so not right.

Yes it was physical abuse, and it sounds like lots of emotional abuse too.

Women's Aid would be a start.

As would kicking the twonk to the kerb.

FFS, what do you think?

Do you think it is normal to be kicked and punched? no, of course he is abusive.

Get out now whilst you can.

For real?!? Yes. That is abusive from start to finish.

I think your partner is abusive, no excuse to kick and hit you, if it was done to inflict pain. Was he angry or was he joking?

He kicked you?
Yes OP, he is abusive.

If DP ever did this I'd be calling the police... after I'd legged it out of the house.

DO you have kids?

He kicked you in the ribs and punched you in the side because he wanted sex?

How could you not fall for such amazing foreplay!

He kicked and punched an unconscious woman. Yes he is abusive. He has no respect for you as his wife or a human being.

Can I recommend you kick him as hard as you can in the nuts when he is asleep and then demand sex?

Don't put up with it. Take the advice to call woman's aid.

so he was kicking and punching you because you were too tired for sex when you got back from a night out?

How can you have any doubt that this is not on?

I have always said no when I haven't wanted it, my entire life. I don't think it is an odd thing to do.

Yes this is abuse. He also sounds like a sexual bully and an emotional abuser.

When ever we go to a party, he watches me like a hawk, and then asks me for a week later who was I talking to and what was I talking about. He then blames me for not staying next to him all night - he smokes, so it is normally him who goes off outside. I can't talk to anyone without being cross examined. If I am quiet, he says, why were you so quiet all night!
We moved out of London, so mostly have mates here at home, so I feel like the cook/cleaner - who rarely goes out and has fun, but when I do go out, it is just a disaster. Generally it is safer to stay in.

she has 3 kids Jareth
I suppose if she is a SAHM she is unsure of how to handle him because she is dependent on him. Is it that OP?

I am so for you that you actually needed to ask if this is abuse.

I would be on the phone to womens aid as soon as it's safe to do so. And possibly the police.

yes he's abusive. And I wouldn't waste any more time with him if I were you .

is he the father of your children mab?

He kicked you. End of any need for questions. That is assault and, if he uses violence to coerce you in to sex, that's rape.

I don't normally comment on threads like this as I don't feel its my place to but this is awful. This isn't a question of 'how often do you do it' or 'do you ever say no' but of domestic violence.

He kicks you, punches you, verbally abuses you and deprives you of sleep so that he can coerce you into sex?

Ticking all the boxes for me.

Please don't put up with this.

I can't believe you even need to ask.

Definitely abusive.

You don't have a massive bruise. Does that mean you have a bruise? Not that it would be excusable if you didn't.

Please show the bruise to the GP, police or even A&E. And get rid for your own sake.

He doesn't need anger management, BTW. He needs a kick on his balls, actually.

I really hope you will believe what people are saying to you here. It absolutely is not normal to be physically assaulted for being tired and not wanting to have sex. It is also not normal to be questioned about every conversation you have with anyone who is not your husband.

Please listen to any advice given to you by people on this thread who have experience and knowledge of this and get help.

I will call womens aid, but I can't leave him! I want him to respect me and be kind to me, his wife and mother of his children. He just wants everything his way. I think it is a sex thing, jealous husband thing. He says he does it because he loves me!

Sorry yes, I missed that somehow

Womens Aid - 0808 2000 247

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