Why would the OM encourage a friendship with his wife?

[TheNightWatch]

This is about a dear friend of mine. Im keeping out of it as she knows my feelings on the subject but, why on earth is he introducing her to his wife and encouraging them to meet up? what planet is he on?

On planet Fuckwit where the highest order of twats reside mixed with the odd cunt

Without knowing the full story, I can safely say the answer is most likely 'because he is a fucking prick'.

Does his wife know about his affair?

For weird kicks maybe?

If his wife knows about the OW do they have an open relationship? In that case why if he thinks they get on should they not meet up?

If he is just a vile wanker who's wife isn't willing to leave a cheating H even though she knows about it then he is a vile wanker so why would him suggesting this be a surprise?

Maybe wants a happy threesome?

To facilitate all inclusive bedroom fun? He sounds great

If the OW makes friends with the wife, she's much less likely to cause trouble because she won't want to hurt her?

who knows?

either they have an open relationship, or it's not enough for him to betray his wife, he wants to get a kick out of seeing her friendly with his shag on the side

Or he wants a threesome

or he hopes that by making his OW a 'friend', his wife won't suspect he's knocking her off, on the grounds that nobody could possibly be so cruel.

Or he likes to mock his wife

or any one of a hundred other reasons.

All of them, with the exception of him and his wife having an open relationship that they are both happy with, makes him a grade A twat.

My ex did this. To this day I have absolutely no idea why he thought it was a good idea. He encouraged me to see her socially (apparently she was lonely!) and didn't say no when I suggested she joined us for a weekend away with friends. The only possible explanation I can give is that it allowed him, to begin with, to keep an eye on her (we did know each other and ran into each other from time to time), then later that it gave him a way of spending time with her, and that finally it would have been suspicious to discourage it. He still to this day cannot understand the depths of his fuckwittery. And when I did eventually challenge her about it, she said, and I kid you not, "you're my friend, I wanted to spend time with you".

I'd tell the wife, simple as that.

She's not going to do that, she's in too deep.

I meant if I were you NightWatch.

Because its all about him and he's getting a sick thrill out of it? Very concerning that he's depersonalised his wife and the OW to the extent that he's engineering these situations in such a reckless way.

Maybe because his wife is suspicious - perhaps he has had 'mentionitis' and has been dropping OW's name in at home. Perhaps he thinks that by introducing OW his wife will feel reassured. Perhaps he is telling his wife that OW is fat or old or difficult or whatever, and that "there is no way he would ever be attracted to her". Perhaps he is so convinced of his own ability to manipulate and control the situation that he thinks he can pull the wool over everyone's eyes. Perhaps he is do deluded about his own behaviour that he even imagines that 'everyone is happy and gets on well together', that dc know and like the OW, and that the inevitable breakdown in the marriage can be accomplished smoothly.

Or was that just my xh?

So does the dw know she is the OW or does she think she is just a friend of his. I am confused.

I'd say the reason was mind games. Some awful people seem to enjoy them.

I have had to ask because I can't imagine 2 people being so arrogant to do this. Is your friend befriending the dw? Why so the dw can be screwed over by her dh and friend. They sound lovely.

I think its that she thinks OW is a friend of is.

You are right about the kids Venus. They like my friend.

Its all abit sick, really.

No, I wont be telling the wife. Its not my place and I wouldnt know her if I fell over her. They live in a different country to me.

Only speculating here without further information, but on some level, he wants his wife to figure out what is going on. He wants to be caught. Its hard to live a lie, and putting the OW directly in the wife's line of sight, gives her the opportunity to deal with the matter, without the H having to bring it up. An act of sheer cowardice.

My friend is not befriending her but now the DW has invited her to her book club. Shes not going, obviously.

So they are not happy to have an affair behind the dws back. But they want to completely humiliate her as well.
Of course the kids are going to love her. Who wouldn't live the friends of mummys that made mummy sad and took daddy away. Of course it will make things easier.
Tbh its one of the most horrible nasty things I have heard of. If I were you I would be dropping her. I couldn't be friends with someone so vindictive. They are both horrible people. It takes cheating to a whole new level.

Why is your friend with him? He is married and now trying to make them friends? Why did she agree to meet her. If he forced it why didn't she say hello then leave. The dw wouldn't just invite someone to a book club with no input from your friend. No one can force people to be friendly.

And why has she met his kids?