Trust

[MatchsticksForMyEyes]

Have just taken out gym membership. I tend to throw myself into things when i start something and have been to the gym twice, swimming once and out on bike twice since I started 2 weeks ago. DH initially moaned about the expense and is now making odd comments about how he doesn't know what I'm doing when I go out to exercise. We aren't having much sex at the moment and he knows I'm not happy about that as I have the higher sex drive, but I really am just exercising not having an affair! He said when i asked him outright if he thought I was. He said no, but then why these comments? I mentioned I had seen the guy who MOTs our cars there, didn't even speak to the guy, but now I also get " you might see your boyfriend there" ffs!

Tbg its one of the things cheating spouse do. But more often than not its something people do to get fitter.
I am jot sure what you area asking. It sounds like he doesn't really trust you and is making jokes to see your reaction. I have just joined a gym as I am giving up work soon and it was one of the agreements. That dh would look after as while I went for a run or gym. We like to keep up our hobbies and have our own time. I would be so shocked if dh thought I was seeing someone. Although du does make jokes like 'well your all mine' or 'other men can look but not touch'. Dh knows other men have shown interest but knows I wouldn't cheat. Your dhs comments sound more snidey than funny.
Can I just say I am not making out I am gorgeous and have men falling over me. I am very very average.

I suppose I wanted to know if people would usually come to that conclusion.

No tbh I wouldn't jump to that conclusion-I'd assume my dp had found a hobby he really enjoyed-maybe that makes me naive but I trust him.

My gut reaction is that he's feeling insecure OP. The reason could be one of a hundred.

I think these little comments are a (childish) way of showing that.

Also i think that may be where the 'snidy' tone is coming from. It's kind of a defense mechanism.

Is he fit? Does he struggle with his weight? Does he have a 'you're better looking than me already and now you're going to the gym' thing going on?

Just thoughts ... ?

If he is clearly not making a joke, they he doesn't trust you. Its difficult to judge as I don't know what tone of voice was used. Maybe tell him it hurts when he says things like that and you feel he doesn't trust you and see what he says.

He is 21 years older than me. Maybe he thinks I'm going to meet someone younger who wants sex more than he does. I've told him it is getting a bit old now. I've made my views on infidelity quite clear to him.

Aha! I think this is insecurity then.

Have your sex drives always been mis-matched? Has he tried to solve the problem of him wanting less than you?

There's a thread here about exactly this running at the mo.

Yes and not really, respectively. He jokes about having me 'seen to' when i make it clear I want sex, which pisses me off as there is nothing abnormal about it.

That would piss me off too, tbh.

Do you mind if i ask his age? See, you could be 19 and 40, or 60 and 81 Does his age have a baring on this is what i'm trying to ask i suppose.

He's almost 53

OK, so to me it's not obviously an age thing then.

Have you suggested he joins you at the gym?

No, he doesn't like them and we haven't anyone to mind the dc.