I can't stand people

[dontlikepeople]

Have namechanged

I really struggle with other people. I don't like being around them other than my own family and a couple of good friends. I hate authority and just want to drop out. I've cut my work hours to the bare minimum and can manage financially but I just feel exhausted and stressed with the sheer effort of dealing with others. I would like to work from home but can't find anything suitable that isn't some kind of scam.

I just want people to leave me alone and to get on with my life quietly but it doesn't seem to happen. I'm not miserable or depressed I just want a life away from others because they seem intent on causing trouble

Who causes trouble and what kind?

in what way do others appear to you to be intent on causing trouble?

I know the feeling

Hello! Do you mind my asking the obvious question - how do you know you're not depressed?

Its symptoms are not simply 'misery', if you see what I mean.

I am not flat-out disagreeing with you, just suggesting it's something worth thinking about at least...

Is it certain people that are causing you problems?

At work mainly I have had some bad experiences over the years and I don't trust people. Fellow professionals have lied to cover their own backsides or exert their petty authority. Bitches with personality disorders would probably cover it. I'm a decent honest person and I expect everyone to be decent too but they're not. I know I'm oversensitive but people just frighten me. I tend to be quite defensive now and I am also suspicious and cynical. This doesn't represent who I am I feel I've become like this in order to protect myself. I just find the years haven't improved things and I yearn to drop out of society and just become invisible. This probably sounds crazy, sorry

I'm not depressed. I'm so happy when I'm just with my family or by myself. I do all kinds of things and feel relaxed and comfortable with myself. This isn't depression this is just a dislike of society and cynical feelings due to being shafted so many times.

Shit happens. People are horrible. Life's a bitch. Isolating yourself from society doesn't protect you from anything. Avoiding confrontation simply adds to your inability to deal with it. Some professions and industries are worse than other and maybe you need to find a different niche for yourself?

It doesn't sound crazy at all!

But you are a decent and honest person so why should you drop out and stay behind closed doors?

Is there anyway you can change your job? Study for something new?

There are a lot of other good and decent people out there - don't write us all off just yet

Sounds like a different job would help?

The office clique drive me nuts and the covering your own back thing too. We work for the same company can we not just work together to fix things that have gone wrong without chucking blame around

I am generally a grumpy old woman these days and spend a lot of my days tutting.

However, I find getting involved in some kind of voluntary or charity work and seeing the amount of good work that people will do for others always helps me balance out some of the shit stuff that I see at work or read about in the papers etc.

I.m with you a bit. I've worked with a lot of back-stabby people and you do get cynical and sick of it. I hate the way I'm always looking for people's hidden agendas now.

Some people are just genuinely happier in their own company than with others. If you think that is you, OP, and your unhappiness around other people isn't due to other things like anxiety or specific problems at work etc, then I'd suggest tailoring your life to suit, as much as possible. Maybe you could re-train in an area of work that you can do at home such as book-keeping.

FWIW I feel the same sometimes!

Y'know......depending on what commitments you may or may not have......you can "drop out" or at least radically change what you do with your life.....one of my neighbours quite suddenly last year gave up her job, rented her house out and is taking three years out to go WWOOF-ing (Google it) around Canada, Scandinavia and the States. I get regular emails from her and she sounds blissfully happy.

don'tlikepeople I know exactly how you feel. Before I had my DCs and became a SAHM, I got to the point where I really hated being around people. I spent about 4 years being shit on from a great height by 'close friends' and colleagues and it was stressful and I became depressed (not saying you are, btw). I genuinely couldn't see the point in talking to people and making friends as it seemed only a matter of time before they'd turn on me.

Like you, I consider myself to be a decent person and try to get along and be polite to everyone, treat them decently and how I would like to be treated myself but this didn't gel with how other people in my life were treating me. I have become more cynical, but feel after a 'break' from people and a little bit more life experience, I'm more able to pick and choose people who are genuinely great and I've honed my 'total bloody bastards' radar and make sure that I keep them at arms length, but stay civil.

You are right, as I get older I am disappointed by how selfish and nasty people can be. I don't think what you have said means you are depressed. You can opt out.

You are not alone in this OP. Not at all.

Thank you for all your lovely replies

I am relieved to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

Wow, I could have written this OP!

Watching with interest. I feel very happy and secure with who I am, I am polite, friendly and have a lovely family and a few good friends, it's enough.

The workplace is full of toxic, back stabbers and quite frankly I found it emotionally exhausting, was glad to become a SAHM! There are lots of great people out there, but plenty more horrid ones!

OP, you sound like a very content and sorted person!

I wonder why people feel the need to be so horrible to others. If they were happy they wouldn't be inclined to be like this

I've found so far that it's usually because they are insecure and need to feel as though they "belong" or "fit in" with those around them. In order to do that they turn into back stabbing tossers who wouldn't think twice about shitting on anyone just as long as they get what they want be it, money, approval, a laugh, attention.

As you said, they are not happy people.

That and the fact that I'm more convinced as each day passes that there is something in the water.

I think the most common horrible emotion people possess is envy of others. It brings out the vileness in people.

Like what a few others have said on this thread, over the years I have become more jaded about others behaviour, due to my experiences. I don't think it's me being a misery guts, I truly believe I am a realist and that I can see people's true colours! I always strive to give people a chance and take as I find, but a persons true personality quickly becomes apparent even if they try to mask it.

I am very comfortable in my own skin and I think this comes across to others. I accept that some people will dislike me whilst others will enjoy my company.

Just out of interest OP - what characteristics do you find the most off putting in others?

Envy yes but the biggest bitch I've come across is when people are envious of you because of what they THINK you have. Wether it's true or not.

I think this is why people who are comfortable with themselves and what they have are the ones who find themselves on the receiving end of most of this shite, because they dont need anything or anyone. Envious people don't see this or even understand it, hence the back stabbing.

Molepom - yes definitely insecurity!