I can't stand people

[dontlikepeople]

Have namechanged

I really struggle with other people. I don't like being around them other than my own family and a couple of good friends. I hate authority and just want to drop out. I've cut my work hours to the bare minimum and can manage financially but I just feel exhausted and stressed with the sheer effort of dealing with others. I would like to work from home but can't find anything suitable that isn't some kind of scam.

I just want people to leave me alone and to get on with my life quietly but it doesn't seem to happen. I'm not miserable or depressed I just want a life away from others because they seem intent on causing trouble

i can sort of relate to this too, am doing a degree to get myself a better paid job but mostly i seem to be only able to go for management positions where i would have to sort out team conflicts, i am really not a team player and prefer to do my own thing

it's so hard isn't it

I can relate to that toptramp. I have terrible bitchy thoughts about people sometimes and I often feel like a bitch but inside I know I'm not the bitch part has been constructed by other people I think. I feel as though I'm inflicted with it now and don't know how to get rid of it This is why I want to drop out and just not have anything to do with others. I want to get back to being the proper me.

I totally understand. And to a large extent I have dropped out. I don't work, luckily DH can support us and we don't live a lavish lifestyle anyway. I don't even like many friends anymore. Can happily go for weeks/months without socialising with anyone. I love and more importantly like my DH and he's the only person I really trust and respect. I don't need friends like I used to and it's so liberating.

Just listening to that Brene Brown talk now, Crystal. I agree with what she's saying totally. Have also spotted her book - 'The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed To Be and Embrace Who You Are this

This thread has really spoken to me.

Ive struggled with People for ages now. Well, just other women really. Its been a difficult year for a few reasons but I also realised that I have little desire to meet friends. In fact, I only have one friend now! Many acquaintances and one good friend.

A couple of years ago I realised that 2 of my best friends were never really good friends at all - but in fact jealous bitches. I dropped them from my life and felt very lonely, still do sometimes but like an earlier poster said my Bastard radar is impressively sharp now. Some say Im bitter and cynical, I say Im a very good and quick judge of character :)

This radar let me down recently though. I discovered that a girl I thought was lovely and friendly is actually a bit of a back-stabber. A family member warned me and said that she had told people that she didnt actually like me when we first met, when at the time I thought she was brill :(

I envy people with lovely, caring friends theyve known forever.

The poster who said that some people get really threatened and defensive when faced with a person who is content and comfortable within themself is spot on. It is just so sad and a complete shame that there seem to be so many like that.

In my line of work I find there's little room for creativity any more and people resent it if I am creative. We're just expected to stick to the prescribed way of doing things and to toe the line and that just isn't me. I feel totally comfortable with who I am but I'm aware that I'm out of step with others and they don't know how to take me. I feel like I'm becoming further and further away from others as time goes on. I guess this is why people get older and become hermits towards their later years

OP, could you start your own small business/practice from home, i.e. one-woman plus maybe a secretary ?

out of interest, do you find people annoying socially? or is it just work (two different things, as you may just not like having a boss/competitiveness). I think even socially it's so hard to find people who ar genuine, not hugely competitive and not judgemental if a person is slightly quirky (or even worse, less successful, in some cases).

Interesting thread. I will look again tomorrow, and try to comment again. Thanks to CrystalsareCool for recommending Brene Brown talk.

p.s. people can become hermits more I agree OP, and I do identify with your sense of disappointment with people. BUt I also think it is possible to become more sociable with people and interests one genuinely cares about, but be more selective.
I agree there are different ways to enjoy life, not necessarily traditional sociability.

I do think that people can be taxing socially aswell as in work. I am going to start a thread about competetive conversationalists.

E.g 1:
Me: I didn't get that job I went for.

Friend: I can't get an interview but then I am on a high wage scale and I AM very expensive.

E.g 2:
Me: I am sending dd to xyz school.

Friend: Oh I didn't think that school was good at xyz so now we are sending our kids to superior school.

E.g3:

Me: (to another friend) You should try for a job at that agency. They pay xyz an hour.

Other friend: My husband and I worked out how much he earned per hour and we realised it was a huge amount. ad nauseum...

E.g 4:

Me: Do you remember when my ex didn't get me anything for my birthday.

Friend: Oh I do and MY new boyfriend bought me a digital radio for no other reason that it was the bank holiday and he loves me puke

AGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All of these are snippets of real conversations with so called "friends"

It would be so nice to have a normal conversation without it becoming a power struggle or one upmanship contest. I guess I am guilty of participating in these conversations.

toptramp do you live in Surrey?

No not at all....I hate to think what the conversations are like there.

Me: I have a new Barbour jacket.

Friend: I bet mine is more expensive than yours and look at my new Range Rover. Yah.

well I wonder where else it's spread now (apart from London, natch -imo Surrey is somewhat worse than most of london!). SW? I find it can be different geographically-speaking.

SW indeed.

was this sarcastic? if not, yes, I can see it, esp around CHeltenham/Exeter/Bath. But Bristol not bad.

nothing neats Parsons Green in london as to non-rich snobs, nothing! you can kind of see that rich people live in their own (often sad) bubble, but what are these people on about? no success of any kind, often not good people, but So big on egos based on a grandish great-grandparents!? deadly serious too.

'beats' not 'neats'

I can relate to the OP, though for me I know where it comes from as I have a diagnosis of Aspergers. I think I'm quite fortunate in that I don't have to deal with workplace politics as I'm a sahm. In truth I probably chose that route in life partly because it meant I could avoid socialising in the workplace. I even hated the school gate politics when DS was younger but he's old enough now so I can avoid that too.

Not sarcastic i'm afraid! I live in middle classville

I do live in the South West I mean; near Bath. Definately Bathesque.

It happens everywhere though. There is working class snobbery too. It's just people. it's sad as I'd love to love people but I just er don't get on with them!

well as i say, it could ve been not sarcastic, I did guess right - just was verifying. How about moving? In P.Green they wouldn't even have any conversation with a middle class person without adopting 'polite talk as if to a baby' towards a person. Or, worst case , just being openly dismissive. You could try to stand up for yourself by asking a provocative question - or to fake admiration in a way that it's obvious - you live and learn, I'm getting a bit better at it. But still - I feel like OP very often. It's sad really. I so believe people should be judged simply by how good a person they are (not even brain/success).

Of well - Bath was one of top three guesses in SW! move to Bristol (it's not an opposite but still more relaxed)?

I find people hard too....I like being alone. Obviously I love being with MY people....family and a very select few friends...but in general I am afraid of other people.

It's not that I don't like them as much as they frighten me.