Fuckity fuck wobbling now...

[Offred]

On this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a1486306-Being-drink-does-not-mean-you-deserve-it t'other day I made a big announcement about telling DH about being raped, or some of it anyway. Now he has gone back to work, I am down, afraid of getting out of bed, lost a jumper (precious of the dc's) over the weekend, obsessing over being upset about that, ds1 made breakfast for the others. Wobbling, freaking out a bit. Feel stupid. Fuckity fuck.

It's ok. Totally normal. You're probably just flashing back to past fears. Just remember that you are in the present, in no danger, and that you are perfectly capable of dealing with telling your DH (if that is what you want) and perfectly capapble of dealing with the emotions this conjures up.

Do you have a counsellor atm?

That thread and your brave confession is bound to have brought lots of feelings to the surface. Be kind to yourself and as HotDAMN says - remind yourself that these are memories and cannot hurt you.

No, not atm. My best friend is one, although haven't really spoken to her. DCs 1 and 2 saw XP last night and are a mess today, it has kind of helped that we are all feeling mixed up. We're going out to have cake.

Don't even really know what I'm feeling tbh just all mixed.

yay cake!

Do look into counselling if you want support with the feelings you are unleashing.

Cake was good, wrote off today have been out the whole day. Made mussels and oysters for tea - a treat! Feel fragile though, need to talk to DH really instead of just being clingy near him and silent.

How are you feeling today Offred?

Ok, up and down. Been talking to friends, DH and on here. Had some realisations. Been in denial about a lot of things I think. Thanks for checking up.