DP keeps doing something I don't like

[illuminine]

My DP keeps touching my bellybutton. I've told him I hate it but he still does it. Sometimes when I get upset about it he apoligises but then still does it again. He makes me feel silly for getting upset about it as well. I don't think he understands how much I hate it. Any advice on how to make him stop?

Ok, well we will have to agree to disagree. My opinion is that if someone does something you don't like, try your hardest to get through to them or decide they won't stop and remove yourself. We do have free will. All this insinuation about victimisation is ridiculous, especially on this level. If he doesn't respect you leave him. It's not just his fault, it's yours for putting up with it. I repeat again, you don't have to be a victim... You can't blame the way he interacts with you on him alone, you can stop it.

If everything that happened to you was under someone else's control, it would be a tragic life.

I don't think anyone is insinuating she's a victim. I think we're insinuating he's a twat.

He's not "interacting" with her - he's doing something she doesn't like. She asked for advice how to stop it and hopefully he is now sopping wet with a big jar of water in his face.

I think you're reading into stuff that's not written.

No, I'm reading lots of posts saying he's a twat and a sadist. He
Might well be. However, what happens to op is under he control, she can stop it. Empowerment and all that.

He is unlikely to act sensibly when you are so upset about something he thinks is funny and posting on the internet about it.
That doesnt mean I think you shouldnt.
Its just that he is probably getting all defensive because he feels unable to back down now.

My OH tends to be all 'oh dont be so stupid, you are going OTT blah blah' and pretend he isnt listening but then he stops doing something or starts doing something he hasnt been doing.

In all the years we have been together he has NEVER just said 'oh fair enough. I wont do that again/I will start doing that if it upsets you so much'

Your OH should most definately stop doing this thing. It upsets you.

Have you been together or long?

Because I'd consider it a red flag.

That's sort of what we're saying, Eclectic. Of course it's under her control, but sadly some people just won't listen. Have you never encountered that sort of person? Because I have.

Yes, she could just walk out, but it's not always that simple.

Unfortunately, I have and still do by way of a relative. I just don't think blaming it all on him, is helpful as yes he obviously is not getting her point but if he's not getting it, she should do something about it. Maybe I'm being unreasonable but everyone needs to know how to stand up for themselves and take responsibility for things that happen to them that they can control. I mean if you can't get him to stop doing it... I find it almost ridiculous that they could have a good relationship.

Think the OP posted in order to get advice on how she could control the situation.

Not everyone is born with an innate sense of how to stick up for themselves. I sure as hell wasn't.

Fair enough. Point taken. Maybe it should be more of a focus at school. I've had to learn to stick up for myself. Just out of interest, why do you think some people find it hard? It seems many threads on mn are about sticking up for yourself and how to do it.

I hate being tickled, I absolutely can't bear it. Before my ex and I slept together (I was taking my time, nervous or whatever) he decided he would find it funny to tickle me, so he pinned me down on the floor and sat on me and tickled me. He thought it was an innocent play fight (knowing I didn't like tickling) while I was pushing him, swearing at him and telling him to get the fuck off me. I then said that if I couldn't trust him not to tickle me when I was so obviously telling him to stop, how could I trust that he would stop having sex with me if I needed him to (if it hurt for example). He never did mend his evil ways completely.

Oviously its not exactly the same situation, but this would make me feel uneasy, like he wasn't respecting my personal space/

Oaww OP, how rubbish.

I can't help but agree your P sounds like a child. How did you not laugh right in his face when he said he does it for attention and because it's funny? What grown man would willingly admit they were functionally 6?!

I dislike having my feet touched. Really dislike it. Many people when they say they don't like something are talking in terms of personal preference (as is their right) but some people are using the same words to describe physical reaction to said touching.
I clearly stated my feet were off limits. I said no and explained the repercussions - if you touch my feet you will get kicked hard and afterward you get zero apology because I said not to. He did touch my feet and got kicked very hard, he got zero apology about me hurting him because I clearly said it would happen and reminded him. If my feet get touched I kick out automatically I don't intentionally use violence against anyone butI know it happens so appraised him clearly. Getting kicked in the face and me being really unhappy with him quite emphatically got the message through.
I don't do things he doesn't like, ditto him for me. I think he's a bit daft to be funny about some things but the difference is I would never, under pain of pain, tell him that I thought that or do the things he doesn't like. Because I respect his autonomy. If I don't want him doing things to me then I don't do them to him. If your P doesn't get the message by talking, then stone walling and shutting him down then retailliation is the way to go. See how much he likes it then. It really doesn't matter what your 'thing' is, if it is your body then you have the right to determine access to every single inch of it regardless of what others feel is silly or not.

I'm amazed he isn't mortified - firstly by doing something to intentionally upset you then when he can see what other people think about him doing it. I hope he is mortified and goes and has a think about being an adult.

He sounds a bit pathetic really. How can you find an attention seeking little boy attractive?

If he's doing it for attention (like a todder) then just get up and walk off. Wherever you are. Don't engage, walk out. That should deny him the attention he wants.

Unless he's even more pathetic than he already sounds and is likely to thow himself face down on the floor having a proper tantrum of course. Move your breakables first!

I'm fuming on your behalf just reading this, my bellybutton is a no go area too ewww shudders!!!