DP keeps doing something I don't like

[illuminine]

My DP keeps touching my bellybutton. I've told him I hate it but he still does it. Sometimes when I get upset about it he apoligises but then still does it again. He makes me feel silly for getting upset about it as well. I don't think he understands how much I hate it. Any advice on how to make him stop?

So what if her navel is on display? My hair is on display and I still don't expect people to touch it when I hate it being touched.

Yes, the water idea sounds very good. Every time.

How about shouting VERY LOUDLY, too. Every time.

Kicking him? I don't normally advocate violence but he's assaulting you first.

I expect he's feeling a bit defensive, poor, lamb, about you post on Mn, and when he's thought about it, he'll bloody we'll stop doing it.

Bloody well stop doing it

For attention? Is he a toddler?

He doesn't get to decide if your boundaries are "silly" or not, BTW.

Yes, stick your finger in his ear every time he does it, and see how he likes that

It's not funny if it's upsetting a person he supposedly loves.

:(

Why does he not think its serious though if it upsets you?

If you had an aversion to spiders would he think it's ok to keep putting them in your lap or something.

If your loved one states that they hate you touching their belly button the normal action would be to stop touching them there. His opinion on how "silly" or not it is has nothing to do with it. His opinion is not more important then your strong feelings on this and the bottom line is he has no right to touch your body if you've told him not to.

"So what if her navel is on display?"

If someone wanted to touch my navel they'd have to get through several layers of clothing. Seems an odd thing to be drawn to, that's all.

This has really got my blood boiling. I HATE being tickled, if someone does that to me, I literally go into a blind panic and lash out trying to get the person off me. My partner did it ONCE. ONCE. He has never done it since.

He's drawn to it because it upset her Cogito - he's not some rampant navel addict who can't control his animal urges or something. He's being a childish twat - it wouldn't matter what her "thing" was, if it was touching her hair, her feet, her neck, whatever it was, that's what he would do. In the OP's case, it's her navel, so that's what he does. It's more horrible the more I think about it actually, he is deliberately doing the one thing she cannot bear, but he thinks he will get away with because "who would mind that?" and "she's being silly" and no doubt all his little friends think it's hilarious
He's a twat.

Stick your finger up his nose/ear/hook your finger in his mouth. Totally disrespectful to touch your belly button.

My Dh has an area of his body he hates being touched, we joke about it and if he has been a little bit naughty I tell him to reveal said area and pretend to touch it but this is a little joke between us. And yes he will reveal it (nothing dirty) so it is a game for us.

If he hated it there is no way I would remotely go near it because I wouldn't want someone to do that to me.

^This, OP. This is true - he's doing it exactly because it upsets you.

Are you OK? Are you talking this through with him or packing a bag? Or asking him to leave?

How upsetting for you. To not be heard or have your body respected.

Why is he so childish and infantile? He isn't in playgroung now.

Set a consequence that he will not like (like getting up and leaving) and keep doing it.

PS a lot of our family hate it too. There seem to be some nerve endings that end in the groin/throat or something. It makes me feel really sick and horrible.

He's doing it for attention? What an absolute moronic turd.

He's lovely except for this? He shouldn't be bloody well doing this! I'd twist his nipple, really hard, every time.

Then tell him you won't stop because you need attention and sure it's a laugh!

What an arse. I'd be mortified if I were him!

Put your fist in his arse. Although I'm sure you respect his 'silly' boundaries more than that.
He's a dick. And if he has no regrets about being a dick, then he is unlikely to stop being a dick, and will probably become more of a dick as time goes on.

He is childish and he does not respect you.

Leave the bastard

Seriously, neither dh nor I like having our belly button touched. If dh wants my attention he does something nice

That would really fucking upset me. I couldn't stay with someone like that, what other boundaries might they push at?

He has managed to find this ONE spot that upset you. So he keeps upsetting you because he finds it fun. What an arse.

I bet that this is just the beginning. If he discovers you hate having your feet touched, he will start touching your feet. Then undermine you and how you feel about it, because he does not feel that way.

Constantly touching part of your body that you dont like, that you tell him to stop, is assault. Even if he does not beat you black and blue, it is abusive.

To add, have you been with him long?

This would be a total deal breaker for me, and there would be no relationship.

The belly button is sensitive. It is one part of your body where you dont have to use violent force for it to actually hurt, or be really uncomfortable.

Does he do it during sex?

What is he? A toddler?

My belly button popped out during pregnancy and ever since it has been very sensitive. It is not painful to touch exactly but I am very squeamish about it - kindof like nails running down a blackboard. I'd be extremely pissed at my DH if he did not understand that.

We've been together for about 5 years, living together for nearly 2 years. No, he never does it during sex.

Thanks for all the replies, but I think a lot of people here are making it out to be more serious than it is. It's not something I would leave him over unless he started doing it very frequently. To be fair, he does it less often than he used to, before I started being very vocal about hating it. I've been talking to him about it since starting this thread and I think I'm starting to get though to him.

Okay, devil's advocate here. I would be the OP's DH in this situation.

I genuinely had not come across before a person who had a non-genital area of their body they this seriously did not want touched. Like, I will squirm and try to get away if someone tickles my feet, but it doesn't gross me out or feel like fingernails on a blackboard or anything like that.

Now I understand, and I don't fuck with my DH's bbutton or ears.

I would sit him down and explain that seriously, this is not something you are just making a fuss about or kind of half-like or anything like that. This is something which he needs to stop doing because it makes you not want him touching you.

Probably now is not the right time, because as has been said, he's probably feeling defensive about this thread. But if he does it again.

And if after the talk he still does it, then he's a twat.

OOoo he doesn't sound very mature OP. If he won't respect your wishes like an adult then fight fire with fire....every time he does it flick him in the nuts :) it might make him think twice in the future.