Put myself in a very vulnerable situation witha man a hardly know

[dangerousliaison]

I had sex with a friend of a friend, he seemed a nice guy got on well etc etc, however I had sex with him after being out. I was at his house alone and when I was going home he pretended to call me a taxi, he then pretended to call again half hour later and after another 15 mins I decided to call a different taxi number. He then admitted He had not called me a taxi in the first place as he wanted me to stay the night.

Obviously alarm bells now ringing and I feel I put my self in a very stupid and vulnderable position.

Now he is due to call me this evening and I want to make it clear to him that what he did was very wrong and worrying and alouthough admittedly I put myself in that position he had no right to do what he did. I just feel so angry that I put myself in that position in first place.

are you going to meet with him again?

No I wont see him again, I should have said that im my Op, I really dont feel I could trust him if I did.

Surely you aren't? He tricked you.

Sorry x posted

Im not sure what I should say to him though.

Do you need to say anything to him?

I suppose not but I don think I should let him know this why i wont see him again, I didnt really react to it when I left him as I was a bit surprised and tired and just left for my taxi, he had already said he would call me this evening.

i would just ignore his call. perhaps send a text saing you dont wish to see him again. you can explai if you want but tbh someone who would do what he did is likely to use your explanation as a way to keep communicating. as i he will try to justify his actions based on what you say. whereas if you simply say "i dont wish to hear from you again" he cant justify anything can he? he just has to accept it. as long as you dont respond when he asks why (which he will)

please don't fall into that stupid thing of "well i have to give him a reason why i won't see him again"

just don't talk to him again, fuck him, he behaved horribly.

I suppose he would I had not thought about that. I suppose im just thinking he should be given the message that this kind of behaviour is not on. I think you have a point though, it may be better to just cut any communication.

Im sure my friend will ask why I wont be seeing him and ill tell her why.

I would tell him why, just so he knows that his behaviour was unacceptable. Its not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong, he did.

I would tell him why, just so he knows that his behaviour was unacceptable. Its not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong, he did.

i understand. i do think we should tell people when their behaviour is unacceptable but for someone like this who has tricked you into remaining with him, i dont for one second believe he will just accept your reasoning without trying to maintain communication by justifying. for someone like this, the less you can say to him the sooner he is out of your life and for your own safety that is what you need. if it had been a friend who kissed your boyfriend i would say absoloutely tell them what they did wrong. but not for this guy.

do you think I should just ignore him and allow the possibility that the message will get back to him via my friend.

Ignore the phone call and if he texts don't reply.

Like Boo says, if you get into communication you're justifying your decision to a tosser who wants to manipulate and lie to you.

yes i think ignoring him is totally fine. turn your phone off for tonight so you aren't being tormented by his calls.

i think that is the best solution, I get what you are both saying fuckerama and IAmBoo, I should not need to justify myself, If he doesnt know by 35 that what he did was wrong and immature and contoling and disrespectfull he probably never will. I dont understand the mentality, but Im aware it is more than likely signs of a controling nature.

did you have sex with him before or after the taxi non-phoning...

Fortunately, men like that rarely call anyway. Don't blame yourself, he sounds like an arsehole.

before, then it was getting late and we had a drink chatted more and I said I had to go and he then offered to call taxi and supposidly called a taxi, I had already said I was not going to stay the night.

I dont really think he did anything particularly nasty... you had already had sex, he wanted you to stay the night... yes it was a bit sneaky what he was doing, but do you actually want to see him again??

i agree not particularly nasty, but it didnt sit well and I think it was deceptive, I had the intention of seeing him again untill that happened and more so when I considered it in a more sober mind set, I felt that it was a miss use of trust and was controling, neither of which are the basis of a good relationship or friendship.

I agree with you. It is an indication that he could be a bit of a twat, or it could just be that he got a bit carried away, and really hoped the extra time of a "late cab" would be enough time for him to persuade you to stay the night.

BUT... as you say, you did put yourself into a bloody risky situation in the first place. .

hopefully akissisnotacontract is right and he wont even call, watch this space

If he texts you wanting to see you again, I'd reply with, "I thought I did want to see you again but when you lied to me about ringing for a cab you freaked me out. Do you really think this is the way to treat someone? So no, I won't be seeing you again."

If you don't say why you don't want to see him, he'll think it was just a one night stand that you regretted. You need to say why. And yes, tell your friend exactly why you won't see him again, too.