Put myself in a very vulnerable situation witha man a hardly know

[dangerousliaison]

I had sex with a friend of a friend, he seemed a nice guy got on well etc etc, however I had sex with him after being out. I was at his house alone and when I was going home he pretended to call me a taxi, he then pretended to call again half hour later and after another 15 mins I decided to call a different taxi number. He then admitted He had not called me a taxi in the first place as he wanted me to stay the night.

Obviously alarm bells now ringing and I feel I put my self in a very stupid and vulnderable position.

Now he is due to call me this evening and I want to make it clear to him that what he did was very wrong and worrying and alouthough admittedly I put myself in that position he had no right to do what he did. I just feel so angry that I put myself in that position in first place.

call your own taxi next time. you need to be responsible for getting self home,not delegate to him
I'm not sure this makes him big baddie, he should have just said would you stay the night

but you should go on instinct if he was ok as ons, but now you have misgivings dont see him again

I don't buy that "if the roles were reversed" in this case. Lying is not acceptable. We're back in that Real Life Is Not A RomCom situation. It works in the movies, but in real life it's unutterably creepy. (Actually it's also a thing the serial killer does in another sort of movie...)

Personally I'd feel horrible if I'd just trusted someone enough to be intimate with them, only to discover they were not a trustworthy person. I don't care if his motives were ever so cute. I would like a bit more respect than to be lied to and to put his wish to keep me overnight ahead of my wish to go home.

Maybe that's why nobody is keen to keep me overnight... ho hum.

He sounds a bit sad. Let us try to be constructive here. Learn from it. Why did you even go near his place when you did not know him? Most men are after easy sex you know this. Next time make a date in a pub, art gallery or whatever.

anniegetyourgun

I think the point you make is true about trust. But there are two points that made me feel uncomfertable with my own actions aswell as what he did. i dont think his intentions where to hurt me or anything more sinister, but his actions did make me think, wow I could have potentialy put my self in a very dangerouse situation, had his intensions been anything else. But had he been a bloke I had just met in a club, I doubt very much i would have gone home with him. Have done in the past pre DCs, that probably doesnt make it any better though.

Admittedly we both had the intensions of having sex with each other, I made it clear I would not spend the night and when I said I best get a taxi now, he said ill call it, I had no reason to think he would nt. It was not a feeble move on my part to not call my own taxi. In hindsight I will probably not have gone home with him.

I agree with BIWI as well.

Here is a similar scenario for you to comment on Friend and I are at a very small nigtclub - a one off event Guy starts making moves towards her i,e dancing though he admits he is not into the club scene either. Friend not terribly interested and everyone in the place commenting that she is politely avoiding him Anyway we all chat and decide the place is not that good but there people there are friendly and pleasant and chatty. We leave - down the road we are aware he is following us though he lives in the opposite direction. We say we are in a hurry t get home. Friend and I part near her home: big mistake Why? He follows her there though she is saying too late etc. He is angling for something so to get home etc she says she will meet him for a coffee the next day She goes although not terribly keen Coffee walk and another coffee - explains happy to be friends etc but that is all She suggests he phones but he says he has no phone Again he sort of follows her home he WANTS future contact to be at his or her place; she declines. But she is having peple to lunch on the Sunday so invites him Makes it clear friends. They all leave at 5pm He is asked to leave but refuses. At 8pm he is still there. From what we can make out: she went to bed at 10pm as she gets up at 6am for work: he knew all this. He followed her into the bedroom and she had sex just to get rid f him It is horrible He just happened to have a pack of condoms What a coincidence! Then a huge row erupted and she accused him of rape The poor thing had to go to work TerribleGot to work Awful state Counsellor asked her to call the policeetc Harrassment and rape

i did'nt understand your post putthatbookdown, did he rape her or are yousaying he was falsley accused?

V confusing post, putthatbookdown.

You did nothing wrong by having sex with him, by the way. It's fine to have sex with someone just because you want to do so (as long as the person is willing).

I am more inclined to think his behaviour was more silly than sinister, he may have thought he was being 'romantic'. After all, you had already had (willing) sex, so this wasn't a matter of a man trying to trap you so he could have sex on you whether you liked it or not.
But you feel freaked and don't want to see him again, that's fine. If he subsequently makes a nuisance of himself, don't be scared to threaten him with the police and indeed to call them if it becomes necessary.

I did initialy think that crystalsarecool, but then when I read it back I was not so sure.

I told my friend and her partner what had happened and they where both a bit surprised and also thought it was a shocking thing to do, but my friend seemed to think he is immature anyway.

SGB 's post on the money (again)

Did he actually pretend to call for a taxi whilst you were in the room? If not, when you came into the room did he say, "OK I've just called them - they'll be 10 minutes"? How exactly did it go?

he actually pretended to call right there in front of me and on the second time he actually got shirty with the operator about having to wait . then About 15mins later I said Ill call another number and called myself. And thats when he said he hadn't called a taxi at all.

Weird. He actually had an argument on the phone with no-one on the other end?

Not surprising you have a strange feeling about him,OP.

I know weirdo, It seems quite comical now.

dangerous he does sound immature and a bit weird, he got shirty with the operator with you watching, how did he manage that with you stood watching, I don't think I could have kept that up without laughing, not that I would make the pretend phone call in the first place, sounds childish to me, no wonder he's single.

I would be creeped out too. There is just NO need to hang out with men who give you the creeps. Don't put yourself through it.

Best of luck!

Yes, probably far too polite. The point is: you make yourself vulnerable if you get into homes when you do not know someone. In this case the guy had been told several times this was friendship only and he chose to ignore this. If she had wanted sex she would not have bothered inviting the other folk. Right?

It sounds v creepy actually.