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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Do you think he will hurt me?

673 replies

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 21:59

I am newly and unexpectedly single, separated for a while but ex-dh only moved out 6 months ago so I am fairly new to dating. Ex-dh was first boyfriend so not very experienced.

Have started seeing this guy. Sex is fantastic, we began the relationship as a friends with benefits thing as he is a bit younger than me and doesn't want kids, fine with me and scratches an itch till I find someone more suitable for long-term. But this guy is a bit of an oddball and has been doing more and more things and I can't figure out whether he is not safe to be around or just messing with me. I only see him on weekends when I don't have my kids, he has never been to my house and does not even know my address.

A couple of times he has hidden behind the bathroom door so when I come out it makes me jump. Another time I was coming out of the bathroom and he was brandishing a hammer. He said he was putting up pictures, and there were pictures on the floor, but he never got around to it and I didn't see any nails, I just had the feeling he was doing it on purpose to scare me. He has cooked for me twice and both times has loaded the meals with as much fat as he possibly can, food fried in stupid amounts of lard, with gold top milk and cream and alcohol added. He told me one of his girlfriends put on two stone in six months when she lived with him. He's skinny and I noticed he ate less than half of his portion. He makes a big deal over the fact that he likes offal, raw meat and black pudding and is a huge attention seeker, when I am with him he is really wearing, he wants my attention all of the time, even keeping me awake most of the night and not letting me sleep. If it wasn't for the fabulous sex I would have run, would like to stay for this but I can't figure out whether he is a harmless attention-seeker pretending to be a dark and dangerous guy or whether he is actually dangerous. He drinks like a fish as well, has no friends (he says), wears black all the time and has decorated his house with weapons (he has good job and own house). He texts me all the time when I am not with him. I feel I don't have enough experience to evaluate him...my head says run but my heart wants the attention / the intimacy / the great sex.

Your opinions please??

OP posts:
MustControlFistOfDeath · 21/05/2012 23:46

Oh, unnecessary extra 'a' in there

SarahStratton · 21/05/2012 23:46

Yes Fist? Grin

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 23:46

is this the end of any constructive conversation then?

OP posts:
LineRunner · 21/05/2012 23:47

Gary - is that you?

MustControlFistOfDeath · 21/05/2012 23:47

The KLAXON has gone off, your absence has been noted Grin

BupcakesandCunting · 21/05/2012 23:48

You may call me Bups, Marilyn.

turnigitonitshead · 21/05/2012 23:48

did op really just say olivia or who ever you are?

AnyFucker · 21/05/2012 23:48

Olivia

you are deleting my witty comments 'cause you are well jell

You are a troll, so ner

OliviaLMumsnet · 21/05/2012 23:48

Sorry to delete you -again- AnyLFucker
We are watching this thread and have no reason to believe that the OP is a troll. apart from perhaps the fact that she doesn't seem to know who I am
so would remind you of our talk guidelines.
Thanks again
MNHQ

Kleptronic · 21/05/2012 23:49

You were never having one, you great big spoony spoonshaped spoon you! G'wan with yer, own up!

Marilyn1980 · 21/05/2012 23:49
SarahStratton · 21/05/2012 23:50

I can't cope Fisty, offal munching serial killers, shmitmoo and Sporn is just too much in one evening.

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 23:50

Oh ffs now the MNHQ person now. OK, whatever, believe what you like.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 21/05/2012 23:50

I'm warning you, Gary.

LineLRunner

AnyLFucker · 21/05/2012 23:51

I'll git you, olivia !

< shakes fist >

Marilyn1980 · 21/05/2012 23:51

awwwww come on Olivia, I only wander onto MN these days when I don't have an essay or I've had too much cava chablis, and even I know who you are

OliviaLMumsnet · 21/05/2012 23:54

@singlemum2012

Oh ffs now the MNHQ person now.
The MNHQ person was reminding the other posters to stick within our guidelines Thats her job. Hi, I'm Olivia. Nice to meet you singlemum2012. Sorry to hear that you're concerned about your new boyf/whatever you'd like to call him. It seems to me personally * that if your RL friends and your MN friends are all giving you the same advice then perhaps there is wisdom in crowds, especially where there are children involved.

Very best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

*this is personal advice and not expert advice from anyone qualified in any wya.

Seasidegirly · 21/05/2012 23:54

This is the funniest post Ive read in a while. Grin. If real - you obviously value intimacy over your life. Bloody dump woman!

ThereGoesTheYear · 21/05/2012 23:55

'Handle'? Isn't that a trucker thing?

SarahStratton · 21/05/2012 23:57

Is that a Geordie 'wya aye' OliviaL?

AnyLFucker · 21/05/2012 23:58

wow, I've never seen the "MNHQ person" give advice before

that was sound advice, OliviaL

tribpot · 21/05/2012 23:58

I think we have a padiddle good buddy. That's a 10-29.

turnigitonitshead · 21/05/2012 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MsPaperbackWriter · 21/05/2012 23:58

Why are you here op? You don't want to hear any sensible advice you are acting like an irresponsible fool and I am aghast you are just thinking about yourself and not your kids with your behaviour to be with someone so odd and to consider sleeping with him without a condom and risk all kinds of diseases. You are taking stupid risks but go ahead
I think we should all leave her to it - she doesn't want to listen does she?

LadyBeagleEyes · 21/05/2012 23:59

Bestest, funnest thread ever Grin
Can I recommend it for classics?

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