Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Odd find, secret DLA allowance....

197 replies

sooperdooper · 19/05/2012 10:27

I live with my DP, we're getting married later this year

I was just doing some tidying up, and sorting out a pile of paperwork/letters etc on the kitchen table, putting stuff in the pile to shred/file away etc

And I've found a letter, to DP from the DLA, about Disability Living Allowance, that he's getting nearky £400 a month on a higher rate care & lower rate mobility allowance - which I had no idea about whatsoever? Confused

I wasn't snooping, just sorting through what was important and what could be thrown away, it wasn't in an envelope, just in with other letters on the table

I know his in his family there is a medical history if disabilities - his brother has spina biffida & learning difficulties, and his sister has spina biffida but works normally although I know she does suffer a lot of pain sometimes & has had so many ops over the years to enable to her now live a fairly normal life

But he has never, ever told me her receives DLA, it's so strange and I just don't know what to think

He's at work today and then going to a friends tonight from work, I won't really see him until tomorrow, but this is just so odd

I don't even know what advise I'm looking for really, guess I'm just confused

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/05/2012 10:29

Higher rate care means he needs considerable help with personal care both day and night so this sounds dodgy to say the least :(

What a shock for you to find that, I hope he can give you some answers.

Olympia2012 · 19/05/2012 10:34

Does he claim on behalf of one of his siblings? Maybe grasping at straws now....

DPrince · 19/05/2012 10:38

Does he care for his siblings? Could it be a possible ' genetic' thing and he hasn't told you? Honestly id he isn't caring and claiming on behalf of a sibling, you need to find out what's going on. whatever the reason is you need to find out why he hasn't told you. Its really strange for him not to have told you he had that coming in.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/05/2012 10:40

If they are adults it would be in their name though, not his.

cheapskatemum · 19/05/2012 10:42

Even lower rate mobility component means either severely restricted movement ( eg can't walk far) or mental impairment (so might be danger to self or others). He shouldn't be receiving it for a relative, DLA is always in name of person with disability. So, for example, I started getting DLA for DS2 when he was about 6, he's now 18 & an adult. It's always been in his name, with his NI number at top of any correspondence.

Poor you, what a shock. Maybe he has mild SB, which he has kept a secret from you &/or he is a benefits cheat.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/05/2012 10:43

I get it for Dd and it's addressed to me but says 'this benefit is for Dd' on the letter.

gallicgirl · 19/05/2012 10:43

IIRC FLA letters are quite clear if a person us claiming on behalf of someone else.

Higher rate care means he needs personal care day and night. Help to go to the toilet, for example. If he's fit and healthy then this does sound dodgy.

sooperdooper · 19/05/2012 10:44

No, he doesn't care for his siblings, his sister, although she has spinabiffida, works full time as a teacher and lives with her husband - I wouldn't be surprised if she were entitiled to some kind of help but I've no idea if she actually has any

His brother lives with his parents full time and also has nursing care

DPrince - yes, it could well be a genetic thing he's not told me about I suppose

Due to his family history we have discussed speaking to the doctor before we try to concieve, but that's due to his family history, not him personally

OP posts:
Oogaballoo · 19/05/2012 10:44

Here is the direct.gov page for elligibility for Disability Living Allowance, if you haven't already seen it and want to know what needs you must have to qualify: www.direct.gov.uk/en/disabledpeople/financialsupport/dg_10011816

Do you suspect that he doesn't really qualify for DLA?

SerialKipper · 19/05/2012 10:45

Being a nominated person on behalf of a sibling sounds very possible, especially if one of them has learning difficulties. The standard letters might still say "you" instead of "the person you are acting for".

But there's no way he could be eligible for higher rate care himself and you not know he was in need. If it's for himself, then sorry, sounds like fraud.

AkhalTeke · 19/05/2012 10:45

Don't let him turn it into an aggressive rant about you 'snooping'.

I bet you anytrhing he will try to put YOU in the wrong.

sooperdooper · 19/05/2012 10:46

I don't for a second think he's cheating the benefits, he's fiercely protective over his brother & sister and their illnesses and difficulties, the only thing I can think is that he has SB himself and has never told me, which upsets me

OP posts:
DPrince · 19/05/2012 10:47

I am wondering if it could be genetic that he is frightened to tell you. I can't think of something genetic that would entitle him to the higher band without it impacting on his everyday life. Surely you would know if that's the case.

Northernlurker · 19/05/2012 10:47

That is odd. You will be asking him about this won't you? It's a pretty big secret and you need to know either if you marrying somebody with a medical problem they've concealed from you or of you're marrying somebody who makes a claim they aren't entitled to. Very troubling.

countingto10 · 19/05/2012 10:47

The letter will tell you who the DLA is for - my adult son gets it but all the paper work comes to me as he can't deal with it but the letter says it refers to him. Also the money is paid into an a/c in his name but which I have control over.

Sounds a bit Hmm to be honest - ask him about it.

sooperdooper · 19/05/2012 10:48

There's no need for him to be nominated person for his brother or sister, his sister is perfectly capable mentally and his brother lives full time with his parents who deal with everything for him, no need for DP to be involved on their behalf whatsoever

OP posts:
SerialKipper · 19/05/2012 10:48

X-posted. I stand corrected by the people have experience claiming for others.

And having mild SB wouldn't qualify you for DLA - it's assessed on the level of care needed by the individual, not the name of the illnesses (with a few exceptions like during chemo).

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/05/2012 10:49

Even if he has it himself, you would notice if he needed higher rate care, having SB doesn't qualify you, it is awarded for your care needs and doesn't sound like he has any, so he would be cheating benefits system in that case I'm afraid.

sooperdooper · 19/05/2012 10:50

Yes, I'll ask him tomorrow, I wasn't snooping, it was left on the kitchen table, he knows I tidy up and go through paperwork to put some in the shredding/recyling

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 19/05/2012 10:51

There's absolutely no way you could live with someone who requires the amount of help required to qualify for high rate DLA and not notice that they need that help.

lisad123 · 19/05/2012 10:51

Check name and NI number on the letter. Even if he has SB, that doesn't entitle him to DLA, especially at that rate, unless he receives a lot of help with care needs.
You need to ask him but unless it's about his brother, he sounds dodgy Sad

QueenEdith · 19/05/2012 10:52

The question of a genetic condition may indeed be something that worries him and he is keeping from you.

But it is not relevant here. You do not get DLA on the strength of a diagnosis; you get it on the impact on aspects of daily life of how that condition manifests itself in you as an individual. If you are unaware of any part of his life where he does require assistance, then this is strongly suggestive that something is wrong here, and the only way for you to out your mind at rest is to ask him.

Sunshinenow · 19/05/2012 10:52

For DLA it doesn't matter what your diagnosis is. It is the effect your condition has on your life.

So even if he does have SB that he hasn't told you about, you would certainly have noticed the need for day and night care!

If it is not for his siblings then it is a fraudulent claim. Sorry.

HecateTrivia · 19/05/2012 10:53

To get high rate care, you need help all day. Normally with things like washing, dressing, toileting etc.

If you live with him, you would have noticed this!

It is not about what disability you have - it's about the help you need! If you are disabled but you don't need care - you don't qualify.

here

Does he need help washing? going to the toilet? eating? Does he need supervision to keep him safe? can he not cook a meal?

If not - then he should not be getting high rate care!

My children are both on dla, high rate care and low rate mobility. They have autism. They are unsafe and need help, support and prompting with all aspects of their care. I have filled in these forms many times! We're talking not wiping yourself, needing someone with you at night, not being safe alone outside.

You may not want to think that he could be claiming fraudulently, but I fail to see how someone could have such high care needs and be living with someone who is unaware of these needs!

Jinsei · 19/05/2012 10:58

I agree with the other posters, OP. It is not possible that your DH could qualify for higher rate DLA without you even noticing. I think you need to have a very honest chat.

And if you're sure that this has nothing to do with his siblings, then I think you need to think long and hard about what you'd do if he turns out to be a cheat.:(

Sorry - I hope there is another explanation!