For those with fundamentally decent and loving DHs / DPs but bloody hell... they can be annoying at times

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This a thread for mumsnetters with good men, but at times highly infuriating in a way that only men seem to be capable of. Not the most politically correct way to start a thread, but that's the truth of it (in my mind at least!)

My DH is a good man. I trust him, I love, I laugh with him and the list goes one.

But b*gger me... he can be a pain in the arse sometimes.

I feel the need to vent after tonight's bedtime.....

It takes him forever to get DS ready for bed. I know he rarely does it. But getting a nappy on him takes about a half hour affair. I am relaxing with a glass of wine (every Sat night, my treat night) and every couple of mins DS runs in starkers. In the end I put the nappy on to much screaming. I sometimes wonder if this is DH's plan

Getting ready to go out. DH uses no initiative whatsoever. I do everything. Sometimes I think how awesome it would be to be in a lesbian relationship raising children. Can you imagine how wonderful it could be? You wouldn't need to remember EVERYTHING ALL THE BLOODY TIME e.g. you go to the nappy bag, and wow.... someone has already checked and put a couple of nappies in there and some fresh wipes.

DH is very tidy, very very tidy. He does not make mess, ever. Problem is he never cooks (genuinely hopeless. I enjoy cooking so no big deal in our relationship), so he doesn't realise that cooking creates mess. So he whinges at me over the state of them kitchen and obscure corners of our home that are a little dusty. I am a SAHM and I honestly think that he is baffled as to why the house is not gleaming. Errr because if you want a gleaming house you are going to have attention-deprived, utterly bored.

Anyway, I am sorry for this boring rant, I could go on!. I feel calmer now and in fact a tad guilty as DH just topped up my wine and gave me a kiss (I think trying to peer over my shoulder though)

Argh meeeee toooo!!

Disclaimer: I'm 1st trimester pg and pretty pissed off most of the time... also all the following are related to HIS business that HE is supposed to be running, hence why I don't do this stuff for him because I run round after him enough domestically

Today DP has-

1. Left out the brand new advertising boards for his business overnight because he couldn't be bothered to bring them in. High winds during the night mean that 2 out of 3 are now broken

1. Walked past the basket of washed tea towels which I asked him to hang up ON MONDAY a further 5 times. Said washing now stinks due to not being hung out and will have to be rewashed. I'm not hanging it up on purpose because its HIS and I put it on to do him a favour, but he can't then be arsed to hang it out.

1. Failed to water the outside plants again during a dry week (not one single time) resulting in them all looking shite and dead. Which is what happened to the last set of plants he bought and never watered.

1. Not showered. Which I find yucky.

1. Failed to give up smoking again.

I'm a harridan. I know

But he's lovely and kind and works hard and puts up with me etc etc etc....

Is it Sat where you are?

You do realise that you are going to get lots of responses telling you that your husband is being controlling, manipulative and emotionally abusive and that you should leave the bastard

I do agree with you though. Little things about DH drive me mad sometimes although overall he is great. I think it's just lack of practice tbh. I deal with the kids all day everyday while he is working so I can automatically just run through all the things I need to do to leave the house. I know where everything is and I have plenty of practice of getting them ready in a hurry! It takes DH aaaaages because he doesn't do it as often as I do, not because he isn't a good dad or not involved enough but because he spends his day working, not looking after the boys. We both have the same degree but if I tried to do the stuff he's working on at the moment it would take me 10 times as long because I'm out of practice.

Mine has suddenly, randomly taken to starting every sentence with the word "so". But elongated, and he's kept this up for a couple of weeks now.

Me - did you catch the weather on the TV?
Him - Soooo, they reckon dry this morning...
Me- how was work?
Him - Soooo, we had problems again with blah blah blah (incomprehensible techy stuff).

His other classic is "oh well" in response to pretty much everything.
Me - The house is collapsing and we'll have to go bankrupt
Him - Oh well

I might have to kill him.

Oh, I've been looking for a thread like this. Soooooo true, DH is obsessively tidy and always cooks & does the washing AND ironing. Fine. He is at a funeral today, it's terribly sad, a friend of his from the military who I never met died and he has gone oop North with some other friends for the funeral and massive reunion piss up

He has just made contact, 14 hours after he last said he would. GGGrrrrrrrr.

Also, I said "I have left your credit card in the ash tray in the car"
Him "Oh ok, thanks"

Fast forward two days:
Him (on the phone) I'm at the checkout but my credit card has been stolen.. me:

BUT, I am so so lucky to have him (as he is to have me) and some MNers have had truly horrific experiences and I want to say, come here love, come and live with me, you will love it. My heart really breaks for some of the posters on here.

My DP is generally wonderful but utterly incapable of seeing any mess to the point he steps a over / round it rather than picks it up. My own parents have noticed this trait and my Dad took the piss by doing a John Cleese-ensue Ministry of Silly Walks around the livingroom with a running commentary ('gosh trainers, shall I move them? No, I can step like this! Etc.)

DP just looked puzzled

Can a swap mine for a tidy one please? Mine is blind to mess - Literally. Blind. Queen is feel your pain...

oops I not is...

If he's complaining that the house isn't spotless, then he doesn't score full marks for wonderfulness, I'm afraid. A decent guy would pick up a cloth or put away whatever's bothering him so much.

Dp is normally amazing. Except for times like yesterday when I get up to grab breakfast and alleviate the ms, find we have no bread and the milk's off, and go back to bed. I've been wiped out with flu for a week.

He rang at lunchtime to moan about how stressed get is and how he's fed up with doing everything then wondered why I burst into tears

My DH is wonderful, I know I have a good man and he'd never hurt me or the children.

But if he continues to live the way he does, I may have to physically hurt him by banging him on the head with a frying pan.

The mess! Ye Gods! I've taken it for too long - the cooking that uses every single pot, pan, utensil and plate in the kitchen and then leaves them strewn in his wake; the clothes that he discards in every single room and leaves strewn in his wake; ditto the shoes that he discards and leaves strewn in his wake; the shaving in the sink, leaving bristles STREWN IN HIS WAKE... do you see a recurring theme..??!!

He leaves everything at his arse, and will never change! I'll be running around after him when we're in our 90s!!

The towels. He hangs them up wrong. I like them hung a particular way and he MOVES them.

And he puts the shower head up high (OK he's taller than me but I can't reach to put it back down again)

Is damn good at bringing chocolate and though

He says ciao instead of goodbye

He is physically unable to go to tesco and come back with the correct items

He is the master of stating the obvious.

The clothes are left on the floor by the bed. The laundry hamper is RIGHT THERE. I even left if deliberately on his side of the bedroom so as to facilitate the easier disposal of said clothes. But no, on the floor they remain.

The real kicker is that he genuinely would not care if I left them there unwashed for weeks on end. But I do.

DAMMIT

I want to write something, but DH must be having a good day.!

He does the hoovering, yes. He then leaves the hoover plugged into the wall for me to fall over. He is also a complete mamma's boy.

My lovely DH drives me bonkers in the following way:

I deal with all the money all the time APART from his work stuff and car stuff. Can he flaming remember to cancel the automatic car insurance renewal when we have decided to go with someone else who is cheaper - that would be NO he couldn't. Can he remember to cancel some pension thingy that needs cancelling - again NO ("um but I thought I called them but maybe I didn't - Uhhhhh") SCREAM

That and never putting his PJs in the wash until they are seriously humming.....

How funny!! I am always moaning about my DH and his tidiness it drives me mad especially the state of the kitchen thing after I've cooked agood meal. When my husband cooks which isnt often he will wash everything up as he goes and won't sit down to eat till the saucepans are washed and put away, hence the dinner has gone cold!!!

Having said all that he has just dished out our takeaway curry and poured me another glass of wine so all is forgiven......

DH leaves his dirty socks behind the bathroom door. BEHIND it so even if I go in and have a quick look for any stray dirty laundry I miss them. 8 years of marriage and socks are still not making it into the laundry basket... Sigh... :)

Oops....I think dh could have written any of the posts above about me......

I do love him dearly, though, even though I am crap at housework and fail to notice that there are things lying about the place...and forget to take nappies when we go out...and a few of the other things mentioned....

I trained him to rinse out empty milk containers and put them in the plastics bin. He managed that bit quite well, however...this has now changed into putting all kitchen rubbish by the sink 'in case it's recyclable'. Including cardboard, which OBVIOUSLY doesn't need rinsing before putting in the recycling bag.
I stuck a poster up in the kitchen which explains, in large, easy to read letters and words of not more than two syllables, exactly what is recyclable and what isn't, which of the ridiculous number of different coloured bins, bags and boxes it goes in, and what days the council deigns to come round and take it away.
I saw him read it.
But the crap still keeps piling up.

And he also thinks clean washing magically floats back into drawers all by itself.

But he is luffly in all the most important ways.

i know I know. Just calmed down after massive fight with DP after coming home to discover he had put a pair of my most expensive, most prettiest, most favourite, most palest pretty silk knickers in the washing machine with a load of jeans and jumpers. They were part of a v expensive set the tosser, and now they are a noticably greyer shade of beige.

He swears he always washes his clothes like this and it was my fault for 'springing' doing the laundry on him this morning as I asked him to shove a load on before he left as we are oging on holiday this w/e.

We are doing a great big trip to to nearest lingerie dept tomorrow morning....

For me it is the rude jokes that ought only to appear out of the mouth of an 8yo boy... but there were only two of those last night.

In contrast there is the staying awake and making me laugh when I had awful backache

discussing baby names at 4am (same reason)

putting up my new washing line

making sure he shuts the door every time he has a cigarette outside, so I don't feel sick

telling me what a good cook I am when I made takeaway out of a box

and general just lovely, lovely, wonderfulness all the bloody time.

oh and he planted my tree I've had for months and not done yet, refused to let me lift a finger, and wrote I love you in the ground afterwards with the spade.

BEAT that