For those with fundamentally decent and loving DHs / DPs but bloody hell... they can be annoying at times

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This a thread for mumsnetters with good men, but at times highly infuriating in a way that only men seem to be capable of. Not the most politically correct way to start a thread, but that's the truth of it (in my mind at least!)

My DH is a good man. I trust him, I love, I laugh with him and the list goes one.

But b*gger me... he can be a pain in the arse sometimes.

I feel the need to vent after tonight's bedtime.....

It takes him forever to get DS ready for bed. I know he rarely does it. But getting a nappy on him takes about a half hour affair. I am relaxing with a glass of wine (every Sat night, my treat night) and every couple of mins DS runs in starkers. In the end I put the nappy on to much screaming. I sometimes wonder if this is DH's plan

Getting ready to go out. DH uses no initiative whatsoever. I do everything. Sometimes I think how awesome it would be to be in a lesbian relationship raising children. Can you imagine how wonderful it could be? You wouldn't need to remember EVERYTHING ALL THE BLOODY TIME e.g. you go to the nappy bag, and wow.... someone has already checked and put a couple of nappies in there and some fresh wipes.

DH is very tidy, very very tidy. He does not make mess, ever. Problem is he never cooks (genuinely hopeless. I enjoy cooking so no big deal in our relationship), so he doesn't realise that cooking creates mess. So he whinges at me over the state of them kitchen and obscure corners of our home that are a little dusty. I am a SAHM and I honestly think that he is baffled as to why the house is not gleaming. Errr because if you want a gleaming house you are going to have attention-deprived, utterly bored.

Anyway, I am sorry for this boring rant, I could go on!. I feel calmer now and in fact a tad guilty as DH just topped up my wine and gave me a kiss (I think trying to peer over my shoulder though)

aw lovely

Flightymy DH recently tidyed up the kitchen and left I Love You written in biscuits on the table. He used kit kats, chocolate fingers and Hob Nobs! Twas a work of love which was edible

Conversely he is in my bad books as yesterday he asked the gardener to mow over and strim an area of garden which I had been planting for 2 years with wild plants. I was so cross when I came home. I don't know what possessed him! He did apologise for being a complete twat and promised to take me to the garden centre today.

Another with a dp blind to mess. I honestly think he doesn't see it.

He leaves dirty washing on the floor, never cleans the bathroom, doesn't put clean washing away, prob doesnt know where the mop lives. He does all the.cooking though.

Oh and he never ever gets the right thing from the shops. Ever.

Dh tidies but doesn't clean. He moves clutter around but leaves crumbs everywhere and forgets to put stuff away.

Then, he moans at me for being messy!

Dh tidies but doesn't clean. He moves clutter around but leaves crumbs everywhere and forgets to put stuff away.

Then, he moans at me for being messy!

Oh my dh is a tidier who doesn't clean. But then I like everywhere to be clean but not worried about tidiness.

So we make a good team.

He's great but he will never, ever organise anything or make a decision in any area not firmly in his comfort zone. Grrrr.

S'funny, one friend was seriously impressed when I revealed that DH never farts in my presence.

He is very tidy and most of our disagreements are about the state of the house (we have 4 DSs)

Mine complains about my stuff not being organised but he has the garage, the computer desk, half of ds's built in cupboard and the cupboard under the stairs full of his hobby stuff. I don't so yes it doesn't get put away quite so easily

My DH sometimes drives me potty with his ability to watch TV for extended periods in his own little bubble while chaos unfolds around him.

To be fair,he has probably developed this ability over the years as his DW can be such an unreasonable screaming shit to live with......

Mine is great but so monotone. I literally don't know If he is happy or sad cos his face is always the same!! He has took to pointing at himself saying happy face to let me know if I'm confused . He also has issues with changing toilet rolls over and watches lots of uber geeky stuff then has a monotone discussion about it which I neither care about nor understand. Wouldn't change him though

Oh Gosh I think you have me with the Kitkats QLB

That's marvellous.

I'm grateful to have a DP who is blind to mess. I make so much of it. He seems not to worry. Anyone else and I think I would be history!

Perfect idea for a thread.....

Socks.......everywhere - I swear he believes in the sock elf who magically takes socks, washes them and replaces them in the draw

Livestock.....accumulation thereof ( dogs, pigs, chickens) and then asking me if I have fed/ watered/ walked them

Going out.....takes ages in the shower, appears fragrant and clean and then says to me and the 2 children ( sometimes clean, often not) "oh ! are you ready then - lets get going " whilst I run round frazzled collecting change bags etc

Otherwise perfect, and extraordinarily good at ordering takeaway curry.

Can't multi task at all, unless it involves eating and reading the paper
Spends longer in the bathroom than I do and leaves towels everywhere

On the other hand he's generally fab and doesn't mind when I put my cold feet on him in bed..

YY to lack of multitasking except for reading paper and eating! - but ask him a question while he's eating and you may as well be asking the sofa!

Not listening. Grrrrrrrrr. Now I know I can go on and on and on but his response to me nearly always shows he hasn't heard anything but the last word, and he just guesses at what I've said. Harrumph.

So many more. SO many more, but if I start properly, it'll be like opening harrumphy floodgates. :o

My lovely, lovely, thoughtful, non- critical, supportive etc DH whom I am missing terribly because he has been living away for 12.5 weeks doesn't seem to grasp the concept that the 3 DDs and I are moving to live with him in 7 days. This means that some things Need To Be Done. Like speaking to the airline about carseats (although this time last week we didn't even have tickets so we are progressing). Like the DDs needing bedding on their new beds where he is living for when we arrive there at 8pm after a whole day's travelling. Like sorting out a car for us to use when we get there. I could go on; I won't because I'll just cry.

He works from an office in our converted garage down the garden. 1000000 times a day he comes in back door, walks dirt into the house, makes a coffee, leaves a coffee stain & dirty teaspoon on the worktop. At lunchtime he makes a sandwich & leaves debris all over the worktop. If he does ever wipe up he misses most of it but then throws the dirty dishcloth across the kitchen to the sink showering the whole area with crumbs & splatting the kitchen window with said dirty cloth. Grrrrr! But he did just take me to Celtic Manor for the weekend & for a £220 dinner!! He drove DCs to in laws an hour each way & picked them up again afterwards & also washed & polished my car.

Although rather than cry, I think I will open the harrumphy floodgates - sounds much better!

On asking my darling dp to put washing away he seems to lose all sense of logic, leaving me not being able to find anything to put on for the next week.
Bras and knickers go in the ironing basket , and I recently found 4 pairs of leggings in my sock drawer. On asking him why, he said "well I couldn't decide whether they were trousers or socks because they go over your feet, but they feel like socks so I went with that".

I have installed 3 sets of coat hooks in the hall, but his jackets can usually be found on the sofa, on the bed, on the bench in the kitchen or hung on any random door throughout the house...

But he is currently on his way home from the pub early to make tea cos I feel rubbish :)

These are lovely posts! Go on robino, open the harrumphyfirst time i have used that wordgates.

Diamonds - the coming home from the pub early part spoilt the halo effect!!

It did didn't it at half 4 :o

for the record he was watching some form of sport an it was his first day off in nearly 2 weeks...

The only thing I can think of is when he opens bacon or cheese he doesn't wrap the rest in anything or put it in a box. Drives me nuts.

Oh oh oh, this is the thread for me!!

My DH is generally lovely, but quite honestly makes me despair sometimes.

I asked him to make sure DS's shirt was washed for a party he was going to. He did, but that was the only thing he put in the washing machine, completely ignoring the basket of lights that could have gone in with it, using a whole washing tablet for one tiny shirt!!!

I will be coming back regularly to this thread when I think of more examples that have made me tear my hair out.