Dating thread 15! cock-cages, hopeful pensioners the occasional glorious success!

[Snapespeare]

apologies for title, I am bereft of ideas as the sodding times 'kindly' edited my profile for me.

sponge - are you going to ask him? or make it clear you are coming on to him? whats the plan besides knocking a hole in the wall

Yeah - he text back a few hours ago. i replied. i shall have to wait appox 5 more hours for him to reply....and yes, i am very silly because this annoys the hell out of me :) STILL.

Oh and time kindly found me some ' nice men' on pof, and thank you for that time :) but not one of them has replied to me - lol

im not fussed im off to letch at mcfly in two weeks AND im going on holiday this month too :)

I have no plan really! My house is such a state there is always more stuff he could do, and he is very good. But I need to find out somehow. I think hopefully tonight when he comes for his money I will manage to ask about his weekend or something, and hope he will mention his wife or gf to put me out of my misery! When I spoke to him on Fri he was in the pub with his mates, so that didnt help one way or the other...

when are you seeing band boy next, is it this week? having other stuff to look forward to is good though :), reminds me I need to get on and book our summer holiday. Am contemplating Turkey but concerned it may be too hot as can't go til August.

meant to be wednesday. drinks on the marina :)

could you say to him about the other work, at some time in the future, and ask to swap numbers? and then say, text him a few days later to say thanks for all the work, its fab and how is he? and hope he picks the conversation up from there ( if hes interested and single, and if hes not he might just think its a nice cliently text)

Most my friends with kids have husbands/fiancee/partners and I don't. My mum was in a minority being an older (41 when she had me), single mum, who couldn't call herself a widow because my mum and dad were never married.

Good idea watch definitely worth a try sponge I would

Tomorrow maybe off to see some horses and Wednesday a couple of friends over.

so? doesnt mean they are happy. Lots ( most) of the people i know who are married ( around the 10 year mark ) are miserable as sin. They have confessed all ( group emails) out of all those still married out of a group of 11 women, 2 are now single ( inc me) and happy. Three have had councilling, all have amost split up at one point. couple of husbands have had affairs, one has had an affair herself, 3 havent had sex for over a year, 7 of the women regulary question if this is it and if there is more to life.

Also - just because you are single now, doesnt mean you will always be single, and being single doesnt define who you are either, its a tiny, tiny part.

I think I am in a fortunate position as many of friends are single (divorced) so I dont have problems to get someone to go for a walk, meal etc. Only one is dating , the rest have given up.

Watch - I think thats a good idea regarding Sponge sending the door man a clienty text.He'll pick up on it if he is available but nothing is lost if he isnt.
I send loads of messages but rarely get anything back. When I have its been along the lines of
"hi"
"you messaged me"
"Have you had a nice weekend?"

My update (not exciting)

Pilot man has disappeard apparently off to Spain for a couple of days. We were meant to have a date Friday but thats very tenious now.

Tailor messages me. He is meant to be in London next week so we will see how that goes. His messages are totally normal.

Others: Ive met zero

Man who I thought ran a chip shop but is a carpenter wants to meet and given me his number. He seems fine. Plays football etc which means he is integrated into society, at some level.

Red T shirt man keeps messaging "what do you want". what an utter waste of time. So im giving up on him.

Then the usual strange messages
One bloke text me to sat I needed to tell him if I dont want him to text again. I havent answered one of his texts so it must be obvious!

O I sent a flirt thing and a bloke messaged me "no thanks". That hurt!!!

Been having messages from a bloke from OKC who says he is a low level diplomat...he is all about adventure. Seems ok but of course we will never meet. OKC is not good for me. I get no messaged whatsoever.

How are you SNAPE? I liked reading your posts.

MLM - keep doing what you are doing, spending time with people and your little boy.

Im so short of money I am exchanging 240 rand into sterling. I think its a bout 10 quid.

Hello. So much to catch up on as ever.

2nd date (which seems to be a very long time from the 1st date) with Mr Music on Wednesday. Going to some trendy cocktail bar in London. Should be fun.

I just see all their happy photos etc and feel a little sad its probably cos its little man's birthday in two weeks and I am skint. Still waiting for income support to be processed cos they stopped my esa. Which is 4 weeks on Wednesday since it stopped.

I don't mind being single its less hassle. I did do relationship counselling and was married 6 years. The day after would have been mine and the ex's anniversary, and I know physically mentally and emotionally I couldn't stay but I never imagined it ending up like this.

Congrats to those going on 2nd dates.

Sorry for moaning BUT you did suggest I stopped dating stayed single but still came here to moan about it sometimes. Sorry.

ooohhhh postbel- same as me :) hope it goes well.

Yes, we did say stop dating, but its only been what, a week? you had a date last sat and then you were mooning over just friends for weeks before that, and only have just stopped contact with him a few days ago.

Moaning is fine :) but for goodness sake, its been a week and you are moaning about it like its been years and and years. And for the100th time, why do you feel like you ' need' to have a man? you dont. You seem to be racing to get into a relationship with anyone, not caring who its with, just so you dont have to be on your own. That is not a good place to be dating from. and taking time out rom.

Have you thought anymore about homestart? they really are very good and would give you such a boost ( and maybe give you somtime away from your chiold too)

The good news MLM, is that your little boy doesn't need loads of presents to have a happy birthday - and awful though this may sound, he won't remember this birthday either!

Get some cardboard boxes from the supermarket & decorate them with tin foil & wrapping paper (from the pound shop or a discount store). They can be boats / pirate ships / cars / trains / aeroplanes or just boxes that get climbed in and out of for hours & hours! If you fill them with balloons that is even more exciting.

Tell absolutely everyone you know (you may be surprised who remembers) & invite people over on the day - they'll bring a present for your DS too.

Watch - fill me in on who your 2nd date is with? I trawled through a fair bit of the thread, but there just aren't enough hours in the day for me to read all of it!

Oh I won't be dating or rushing in to anything. But permission to feel guilty. Also heard from the mediators today and the ex hasn't bothered so s bit :( and very especially after the messages via a mutual friend on facebook for pictures. I suppose I just want to give my son everything I didn't have. But I do have an amazing mum who is strong. I try to be strong but don't always succeed.
Little man seems happy. Always smiling etc so I cant be doing everything wrong.

I am going to a parent and toddler afternoon on Thursday at a church about half hour walk away.

Anyway back to dating/ not dating.

P.s I still like sitting in my local park in this weather enjoying watching the lads play football topless and toned yum hey I might not be up for dating but a girl can still look.

post - hes a 29 year old, that time actually approves of!!! :) plays in a band, is short, not the best looker, but nice, and funny, and very clever. Works for local govt, doesnt currently drive possibly lives at homebut is very very very nice, though awful at taking ages to reply to texts or a few hours anyway we had coffee last tuesday, i had fun with him, it was nice, he called me gorgeous lot sof times, clearly faniced the pants off me :)

It's always good to get compliments. and to be treated like a princess. And he may well not live at home. I am almost 24 only just got my provisional and won't be able to afford lessons any time in the near future so will probably be late 20's before I start learning. I got my provisional cos I got annoyed being asked for proof of age and having none as I don't have a passport.

He can drive, he has a license, he just doesn't currently have a vehicle.

And unless hes very very wealthy, and is hiding that, then he will live at home. There is no othet way he could afford to live in the town he lives in otherwise. Its very posh. Like kirsty and Phil, location, location, location, posh. In fact I think it scored top 5 in their ' best places to live' thing a year or two ago.

Or its cos he lives there he can't afford a car anyway living at home isn't a big deal. my mums upstairs neighbor had to GP back home for a year cos he lost his job and couldn't get another one, so couldn't pay the mortgage so rented it out til he got a new job etc rather than lose the house and he is mid 40's. Just another point of view.

No. We are talking 450,000 for a tiny 2 bed terrace.
Until recently he was only working part Time ( I dont know why yet)
It is unfesiable he could afford that on a part time civil servant wage. Which is probably why he has no car.

Living at home is a big deal to me. I would find it hard to date someone who lived at home. But then I'm not 23.

I have yet to find out if he was working part time/ no car because of circumstances, or if It's because he's a slacker, expecting his parents/ friends to pay his way. If its the latter I won't date him.

It's called standards. And knowing What I do and dont want.

Fair enough. Sorry I assumed he was working full time and hoped he was just having a bad phase. If that was the case and it was temporary fair enough, but if its cos he can't be bothered he isn't worth it.

I wouldn't drop my standards. If its laziness then dump, if they don't have a car cos they can't afford it but are working I can accept that. Some people I know work at subway at a nursery etc so not high wages and they found they could have one or the other.

Hope I didn't upset you, sorry if I did.

I think you deffo need to find out about the living at home part Watch. For me its a bit of a red flag because when I met the Ex he lived at home (and had always had everything done for him etc) - mind you my previous Ex also lived at home because he only had a pretty much minimum wage job (nice guy but not that clever and no ambition, worked in family business and paid a pittance etc) but was still v self sufficient etc, total opposite of the evil Ex. So you never know...am also wondering whether he might have maybe inherited property there, that would explain being able to afford nice location and also why he doesnt feel the urge to get a full time job. The odd bloke who came round to my house (and whose mum had died, he's inherited her house) he worked for himself but not a proper full time job, lived with his brother who didnt really work by all accounts, and neither of them had a car - he borrowed his mates to come over to me. Having said that he was bloody weird, so actually band boy living at home may be no bad thing!

My door man had been & gone by time I got home - I was expecting him to call/text me to say he'd finished (& ask me to pay him) but nothing! probably better text him myself. Need to ask him about some building stuff (genuinely) as have to get some further quotes etc following my total waste of time mediation appt today.

I will find out, and then judge on those mertits.
If hes just fallen on bad Times and got part time work which has only just gone full time, because Thats all he could get, then great, its all good.

If hes just a slacker, then It's not. But I don't yet know, so can't judge.

He has a good degree, and is very clever, so....yeah, ill find out.

I'm not judging on money, I'm skint
myself :) its just the attitude behind it all.

And I just couldn't date someone who lived at home. It would feel to me like dating a child. Horrible. The teacher earlier on in the year was on the phone to me once when his mum called him for dinner. That is not attractive and I couldn't take anyone seriously...

Sponge, weird. Perhaps he wants you to Text him???

Watch I do agree - thing is even if he is living at home just through circumstances, you can still tell a lot from 'how' he lives there (if that makes sense) - like the Evil Ex had literally everything done for him, whereas the other guy I dated - this was when I was mid 20s, he was a couple of yrs older - did live at home, but did everything for himself, bought his own food mostyl, cooked his own meals, did his own washing/ironing etc, was like he lived in a shared house rather than at home. you need to find more out to know where between those possibilities he sits.

will have to text door man. tis most odd, have never had anyone work for me before who was so seemingly laid back about being paid!

Perhaps he wants you to text him? I'd def say something like It's good work, and you are pleased, and you have some more stuff you would Like to talk to him about, and did he fancy doing it over a coffee?

And exactly that. What you said. I'll find out and go from there.

Ah sponge maybe he likes you and wants an excuse to be able to text you.

Standards are there for a reason.

I text him and said thanks for finishing, v happy with it, sorry for having missed him & therefore not paying, did he want to pop round for money one evening etc. Will wait & see what he says. I think hes probably just laid back about money rather than wanting to see me, but I guess you never know...

Oh i'm around sunshine'. In the theatre this week, so too busy to scratch, let alone bother about the lack of men. :). Part of my duties does involve pouring water over a rather fit probably gay french chap in mr darcy breeches, riding boots amd a flouncy regency shirt, so i'm really not complaining. :)

I have theatre tickets on thursday, including a hotel stay. I have to stay on the hotel as ex in laws are around, but no-one really to ask to go with me cant ask PM. Double bed