Dating thread 15! cock-cages, hopeful pensioners the occasional glorious success!

[Snapespeare]

apologies for title, I am bereft of ideas as the sodding times 'kindly' edited my profile for me.

Sunshine, it sounds like he dumped you because you wouldnt dance to his tune?

Sunshine Don't let him get you down, he's an arse, you are well rid of him. You had been seeing him for just 9 months, what's the rush if it isn't control? Imagine what he would have been like if you had moved in with him It wasn't commitment he was looking for, it was ultimate control over you, he hasn't got it so he is narked, and who best to blame but you. Last night he told you exactly who and what he is, listen to him. Dry your tears and move on, don't give him another moment of headspace, you deserve so much better.

Sponge we need to hear more about The Date!

Chaotic Wishing you the absolute best of luck for your interview today. Everything crossed that you get the job!!

Just had a text from the photo sender; grovelling; apologising about upsetting me, reckons he's told his wife and she would've kicked him out but he hasn't any money, his health is poor blah blah blah.

Well ladies I remembered your advise and I didn't engage with him. Deleted the text, took a deep breathe and on with the day.

Morning :) it's warm here today. I was going to walk the dog and then take a shower, the dog has been walked but the shower can wait for a bit, until after dinner I think so I don't get all sweaty before the interview.

Thanks to everyone for dress comments and good luck wishes.

Isis you did the right thing.

MLM hope you're feeling better today.

Chaotic : best of luck for today
Sunshine : you did the right thing.
to everyone else that I can't keep up with, I hope you all have a great week-end (it's bank holiday here) the weather is beautiful, no dates for me, I'm spending the whole week-end with my daughters and we will have a great time. Hugs alround and I'll try to catch up next week.

good luck chaotic - hope it goes fab!!!

Sponge - we need more info!!! :)

child - good, why would he even bother..... you did the right thing.

sunshine - as time says.

MLM - I know its like banging my head aganist a brick wall, but why are you crying to just friends. a man who didnt want a relationship with you, you created one in your head which wasnt there, and now hes back with his wife! you clearly need a support network, and thats fine :) we all do. But find one with somone else. Please pop into your local childrens centre and speak to them, they will be able to help. or contact your local homestart.

Chaotic - good luck :) you will do brilliantly Im sure!

Isis - totally right to ignore him. He's already shown he cant be honest, why would he suddenly come out with the truth now simply because you've caught him out? Ignore, block etc!

Well, no date forthcoming yet, though I think it's only a matter of time. But I do get a slightly weird vibe off him...he's not bad looking BUT is mid 30s, no kids, not been married, seems to live in a shared house, no car (not that I can judge that one cos I dont either), has a cheap old PAYG phone . Can't decide if he's a bit of a slacker (though he doesnt necessarily come across as the slacker type) or he's married (unlikely as he has given me his full name - though he could just be stupid!)...or just odd. Plus also he mentioned something about my figure which creeped me out a bit but then I don't do compliments.

Am I just being too fussy?!

thanks everyone. I just needed to hear it. The nail went into the coffin when I got a text overnight saying that if i wanted sex all I needed to do was text and go round. Yeah right - hoping that if I have sex with him Ill not meet another man. Control!

Updates: I need to squeeze something out of a stone

Tailor. I trust the tailor to set a date, time and we meet. He has the shortest profile, says he works in London one week a month and stays in the middle. The rest of the time he is in Yorkshire.He is down the week of the 4th and would I like to meet as he hates constant messagin. Cool, I will.

Prison man. Nothing since I said I dont do textual intercourse. Weedled that one out.

Pilot. A ressurected venture. We messaged a few months ago then he disappeared. He phoned me yesterday and we had a chat and have lightly arranged next Friday. I am 50;50 on whether he will vanish again.

Sports bloke. Very tall wants to meet for coffee, next week maybe.

Odds on - tailor in the running.

MLM - I know your bestie doesnt live near you and I think Watch's advice about the childrens centre is so sound. Establishing some supportive links close to you is vital to keep mind and soul healthy. Just friends isnt even a friend. Try forgetting about him for 5 minutes a day then increasing it. Thats what I do and it works. Keep distracting yourself and actually time it.

Chaotic - very best of luck with the interview and getting there.

Sponge - I dunno. Vibes are there for a reason. Did you go on that singles event night out you mentioned a bit back?

hmmm. i dont know?

Im in the same sort of boat with my second date man, he has a degree and is obviously clever. But has a bum job that until very recently, he was only working part time at. aged 29???? bit confusing. he spends a lot of time gigging and did get paid for that, but is leaving the band next month.
he has no car, and lives in the next ( very posh) town, so i expect he must live with his parents, because frankly. he wouldnt be able to afford it.

I cant decide if hes one of those people that have just had a run of bad luck. or if hes just a bit of a bum who thinks hes much cleverer than everyone else ( because he can weild a guitar)

BUT - i did have a nice date ( also full of compliments) and i am seeing him again. I cant see the harm of you having a date or two, see what happens, find out a bit more?

all that being said, someone might think that about me. im a 33 year old divorcee, with a young child, working part time, only free every other weekend and am fucking skint all of the fucking time. ( as in hunting around for pence in the last week)

So - i think you have to get to know somone a little bit before you can judge.

Watch, tricky isnt it? Im not sure what this guy does, I had a suspicion he might be in the police but not sure. And if he was then he'd have more money I'd have thought.

I know I sound really mercenary (I'm not at all) but I think having met the Evil Ex when he was mid 30s, living at home, having worked in a decent job for over 15 years with literally nothing to show for it because he is shit with money (as he proved by spending lots of mine) I am more cautious now. But we'll see...I'll go on a date if he asks and see what I think in the flesh. It probably wont get to date 2 anyway as I am cursed

Sunshine - singles thingy is tomorrow. I feel distinctly fat and unattractive today so fighting the urge to give it a miss. I have paid £15 so bit of a waste if I do though...

you should go, you have paid :) plus, we NEED you to :)

sponge, i do know what you mean. if its cirumstanical, then its fine. but if its by their own doing, or just being a bum, or lazy, or whatever, then thats not so good.

My ex husband was awful with money - Always skint, i was bailing him out all the time, paying the petrol to go and pick him up weekends ( 2.5 hours drive each way) paying for cinema, meals etc..... he would always have enough money to go out on the piss though.
Anyway - it was crap, it all became about money... and my fault when we didnt have any. And now, even though we are divorced, i am having to pay half of a massive joint debt. Even though hes earning 4 times what i earn :(

I probably will go tomorrow - least I can say I've tried :)

My Ex was crap with money, worst thing is I really dont know where it went as he is not always out drinking, he just fritters it in dribs & drabs. We earn similar amounts - I manage to pay all bills and can on a good month even save money. Before he moved back with his parents his rent was less than 2/3 my mortgage yet he was constantly overdrawn (and he doesnt give me any money either so cant use that as an excuse!)

yes, do go:

my date also takes hours - like 4 -12 to reply to any text.Which is weird i think, he always texts first, and i reply. and then i dont get a reply until the evening, and then i reply and then dont get one until the next mid morning.
is that weird? am i being needy? its not that i want more contact that than, i doesnt bother me if i dont hear from him for a few days, its just annoying when somoene texts you, you reply straight away, and then nothing for 12 hours.

Sponge I would say don't worry about all that stuff too much, not at this early stage, not if you like him and would like to see him. Now, if it gets to the stage where you really like him and see a future with him, that is the time to worry about the bits and bats. Same applies to you watch. Meanwhile, you carry on looking/dating until you do come across someone who ticks all the boxes. That's what I say anyway. You can ignore me if you like

And yes Sponge, go!! We want to hear all about it!

watch, no I don't think you are being needy but I do think you are being impatient . It's a known fact that men are useless at texting, most of them hate it. I do think it's rude that he doesn't reply within a reasonable period of time but we have to give him the benefit of doubt and presume he actually has a life outside of his phone

Sunshine, you are well rid of that one, trust me. It doesn't sound like you are short of attention anyway so get yourself out there and find a decent bloke who doesn't need you to give up your life in order to make him feel secure in his.

ah - yes, i could be forgetting the fact that hes male.
and not trying to get into my pants right now ( so not texting me filth )
though it does just bug me generally when people dont reply within an hour or so time frame....

watch I'm always forgetting to reply to texts (ie the soldier text me on Tuesday, I havent got round to replying!), yet I expect men to text me back immediately. I am aware how unreasonable this is .

Yes watch be grateful for small mercies, at least he isn't sexting you or sending you cock pics. No texts are better than those texts! AND, he doesn't do sex until after the 5th date so you are going to have to learn how to be patient!!

Indeed, no texts are much better than inappropriate texts!

Door man is finishing at my house today. Is it sad I'm quite excited about seeing him when I get home?

No sponge not sad at all, I still think rude thoughts about alarm man and I've not seen him since last June. You have to get yer kicks wherever yer can!

i know, and it was only 1 hour date.
i do realise im being daft :)

sponge - nope, not sad :) letchy, but not sad :)

I don't think you are being daft, it's the excitement, it's something new and you want it all and want it now. Like a child at Christmas. It's lovely really, it's just not lovely when it causes you angst.

im not angsty about it. more mildly miffed.
:)
but then he is being in daily contact, so im being stupid.
:)

You are a very demanding young woman watch. Poor lad might be trying to save his credit!

well Im sulking. Got home and he'd already gone he couldn't finish everything today cos hes still waiting for a latch for the door. He called me to tell me this (from the pub...sadly he didnt invite me to come and join him!) and he's coming back on Monday but I will be at work :(

And I just had a fake cornetto which wasnt v satisfying as it had mostly melted on the way home.

Meh.