43, new man, your contraception recommendations please!!

[Challen]

I am 43 with two children under 5 and have met someone new.

My previous relationship were both long term, 7 and 8 years respectively. No contraception in the first one (no idea how I never fell pregnant in all that time although I did have very irregular periods as I was underweight) and only on the pill (Femodene) for the first few months in last relationship, yet it took years before I accidentally fell pregnant.

I have been Googling and come to the sad conclusion it's trial and error with contraception judging by the mix of horror/happy stories, which is sensible given hormones are going to affect us individually.

However, I'm vaguely aware only some are suitable for my age.
I have no other health issues, never smoked, rarely drink, normal blood pressure and am now of average weight, although my periods are still irregular.
I don't know if I want more children at this stage.

My new partner seems to have a history of anxiety-related ED (another thread I mean to post soon) so whilst we did use a condom the first time, it was ineffective because of this.

I'm hoping that anyone in identical or very similar circumstances (age, etc) can advise which form of contraception they were happiest with really, as I read somewhere doctors vaguely review your compatability with different brands of pill for instance, but ultimately prescribe whatever has been 'commissioned' to them that particular time, ie that health companies pay a premium in order to have their product placed. I know it sounds daft, but it's something I'm also taking into account!

I like the Depo injection

Condoms best obviously, but if they are not suitable then both of you get an STI check at the GUM clinic before proceeding

Mini pill generally suitable ( I hated it, bled all the time)
Coil or Mirena - Mirena lasts 3 years and is a love it or hate it method.
Diaphragm may be worth a go if the slightly higher failure rate doesn't bother you but a bit fiddly.

There is a contraception finder tool on the Family Planning Assoc website that I tried the other week which was interesting, here

I posted this the other day....the best that every one came up with was marena coil.
Or progesterone only pill.

I am 38 and have tried several types of contraception. Age is a factor and the gp would probably not prescribe a combined contraceptive pill. Other option are:

depo injection - I had constant spotting and put on hundreds of weight
mini-pill - fortnightly periods with femulen and micronor but periods stopped altogether with cerazette (was on it for about 3 years)
mirena coil (with hormones) - have had it for about 2 months now and not having any issues yet
copper coil - can make periods heavier and more painful
implant - not tried it

www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraception_which.htm

p.s. Mirena lasts for 5 years, not 3

Non-hormonal IUD all the way. Or Mirena.

I can't take the pill
I can't have a coil as have had two ectopic pregnancies
Any hormonal contraception sends me totally nuts

So it is condoms or a diaphragm for me.

It's a PITA quite frankly. I shouldn't have to be worrying about this at my age!!!

Mirena - I have this and couldn't remember whether it was 5 years or 3. But I was called to get mine replaced after 3 years - how weird? Maybe I can leave another 2 years then

Mirena is effective as a contraceptive for 3 years but can be kept for up to five to regulate periods.

Thankyou so far, very helpful :)

my little booklet I was given when I go the Mirena inserted says it is used for contraception and heavy menstrual bleeding until it is removed or up to a maximum of 5 years. I have been told to get it changed after 5 years, not 3.

This is my field :)
I'd recommend you have a look at the Family Planning Association website or something similar to get some ideas about what you'd like to take and what might suit you and then make an appointment at your local family planning clinic. Contraception can be a bit of an art rather than a science in that what might suit someone in similar circumstances to you might not suit you at all. The family planning people are usually lovely (not that I'm biased at all :) and will talk you through all your options.
I've not heard any thing about pushing one product over an other, in fact if you go with a good idea of what you want and its safe for you to take its pretty likely that's what you'll get.

Itchywoolyjumper - is it 5 years or 3 for the Mirena then? I am confused now! I have it for contraception rather than hellish periods although I did use to have those too.

Family planning says 5 years

netdoctor says 5 years

nhs says 5 years too

after trying everything under the sun (i'm 39 with three children and no plans to have any more) I got the Mirena a couple of weeks ago and no problems so far, either with the fitting or afterwards.

Minnie, I think its 5 years too, but if your doctor is saying something different I'd go with what they're saying because they know you and your circumstances. It may just be that its their protocol is to take it out at 3 years. You may be able to keep it in longer but if I were you I'd want to play it safe and see your doctor just to make sure.

Thanks Itchywoolyjumper the Family Planning website was very helpful, with it's Contraception Tool.

I intend to make an appointment with them rather than my doctor now for contraception and am currently deciding between the mini-pill or Mirena, although an Intra-Uterine Device isn't something I have had before and worries me more than taking the mini-pill.

I have had several non-hormonal coils and I am very happy with them, they havn't had any significant effect on my periods at all. I am 47 but had coils since I was 38 ish with a (planned) baby in between

I'm the same age as you and I use Evra patches. You stick one on your arse and change it weekly for 3 weeks then have a week off. I find it brilliant, no disruption to periods or anything.

I did have mirena coils for about 14 years, then had it out and fancied a change so I tried the implant which was disastrous (constant bleeding for 9 months) So I'm thinking at some point I might go back to that.

I can't take oral contraception due to malabsorption issues so my choice is limited.

Arse patches?
Interesting...

Yes I thought the arse patches looked like a good bet too but still hormonal and I can't do hormonal.

Also apparently quite expensive so some GP's loathe to prescribe them or so i have been told.

I just had a mirena out and think it's back to condoms for us.
Am dubious about hormones now, although never had trouble with them when younger

Thanks Itchy I haven't got any interesting circumstances, no interesting medical conditions or anything And TBH I'm not looking forward to getting it changed as the strings disappeared a while ago so apparently they are going to fish for it with a 'Coil Retriever' which I guess will do what it says on the tin

Would you consider getting sterilised? Or are you too old to get it done on the NHS?

"I read somewhere doctors vaguely review your compatability with different brands of pill for instance, but ultimately prescribe whatever has been 'commissioned' to them that particular time, ie that health companies pay a premium in order to have their product placed."

This is not true in the UK. But they will prescribe the cheapest 'brand' of whatever it is they decide will suit you. Eg instead of Microgynon we have to prescribe Rigevidon - same pill, made by different companies.

Anyway, if you both have a full STI screen that comes back clear you can ditch the condoms if you plan to remain in a sexually monogamous relationship.

The best bet for you is probably a progesterone containing method, such as the progesterone only pill, depo injection, Mirena or implant. Or of course a non-hormonal method such as diaphragm, cap, condoms (including female) or copper coil.

You could start off on a POP like Cerazette and see how you get on with it.