43, new man, your contraception recommendations please!!

[Challen]

I am 43 with two children under 5 and have met someone new.

My previous relationship were both long term, 7 and 8 years respectively. No contraception in the first one (no idea how I never fell pregnant in all that time although I did have very irregular periods as I was underweight) and only on the pill (Femodene) for the first few months in last relationship, yet it took years before I accidentally fell pregnant.

I have been Googling and come to the sad conclusion it's trial and error with contraception judging by the mix of horror/happy stories, which is sensible given hormones are going to affect us individually.

However, I'm vaguely aware only some are suitable for my age.
I have no other health issues, never smoked, rarely drink, normal blood pressure and am now of average weight, although my periods are still irregular.
I don't know if I want more children at this stage.

My new partner seems to have a history of anxiety-related ED (another thread I mean to post soon) so whilst we did use a condom the first time, it was ineffective because of this.

I'm hoping that anyone in identical or very similar circumstances (age, etc) can advise which form of contraception they were happiest with really, as I read somewhere doctors vaguely review your compatability with different brands of pill for instance, but ultimately prescribe whatever has been 'commissioned' to them that particular time, ie that health companies pay a premium in order to have their product placed. I know it sounds daft, but it's something I'm also taking into account!

Copper coil. I have tried nearly everything else and I wouldn't choose an alternative now. Yes, periods are more painful and heavier, but nothing unmanageable.

I have spent more time wondering why ED, which I mistook for eating disorder could possibly have an impact on wearing a condom? than I have coming up with an answer.

DP and I are late 20s but I got the copper coil as I wanted a pill alternative (didn't like the hormones) but we couldn't use condoms because of his ED. It worked to an extent but it was the Cialis that properly sorted it out.

I use Dianette for contraception and it helps with my acne too. Lol at the above comment, my hubby has used Viagra which is like Cialis. Gave him a 'lift' and me satisfaction ;-)

I have an implant lasts five years no periods im 46.

If his ED is due to anxiety not condom then will not using a condom stop that?

I would persist with condoms short term to see if his anxiety eases with familiarity.

STI test before any non barrier method is considered.

Can't help, but yes same issues. I'm 46 and bf is 55 with age related ED, so condoms out. So basically we don't use anything . I don't want to take any hormonal contraceptive due to possible loss of libido, the fact I smoke like a chimney and I don't want to mess with moods as I am bipolar. We do more stuff than PIV anyway [sorry if TMI] would like a diaphram, but don't know if they do them much here/any more - don't know why. Mirena coil without hormones makes you bleed heavily, so don't want that. Call me choosy.

Forgot to say, he's in favour of a vasectomy, so might go down that route.

Mirena!

I talked to my GP about getting sterilised and was told "No" because it involves a general anaesthetic.

Pill is not an option as it totally kills my sexdrive, so I'm not keen on the mirena as that too contains hormones. Also someone told me that you can actually feel it inside whilst having sex. Would be interested to hear from someone who has one it if that is true or not?

DH is a chicken when it comes down to medical intervention, therefore he won't get done and hence we are stuck with condoms... I think condoms are great for some people depending on circumstances, but I wish I could ditch them for something else. (other than a rabbit like device which is too invasive for my liking!)