The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Which is FANTASTIC!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, I'm Mouse and I'm addicted to cheese, but have a pretty nasty relationship with alcohol too, mainly vodka.

This Bus is for anyone and everyone. Drinking or sober, or somewhere in between or just not sure if you're drinking too much........... this is the place to ask and maybe have a chat too.

No pressure, no judging, no cliquey savoury flans (although I'm rather partial to a cheese slice ), we're all on The Bus for the same reason; alcohol.

Even if it's not you, and you'd like to talk about someone you know, come and say hi. We won't bite, well, not unless you ask very nicely!

And, if you'd like to see our journey so far, follow THIS LINK and read back through the previous links there.

See you soon xx

Lots of "though"s in my post

I do feel great - thank you!

Best of luck with the interview today

soma when you're posting a link - if you type thelink you get exactly what you typed as the link. If you type anotherphrase then you don't see the link address and just "anotherphrase". Does that make sense?

Hello to all - rushing in and out, but lovely to read posts for old and new xx

evening babes! more new people - how will I remember everyones names? some kind of word association?

mia gets up at 5.30am to look at ponds
mouse likes cheese and is the driver of the bus
venus is wise
faire is inspirational
ma needs a longer speculum

soba is getting a dog called Albert
greyhound has a JRT
saf is getting a llaso apso
chasingtail could be persuaded to get a pond

GAH! that example didn't work at all

if you type 2 of these square brackets [ followed by what you want to link to, then you get the exact link. If you type that (with the link as before), then leave one space then type 'another phrase', followed by the 2 square brackets, then you don't see the link address and just 'another phrase'.

Any clearer

Clear as mud venus

Hello lovely Brave Babes.

I'm tired so I'll make this brief (which is always a relative concept for chatterbox me ). I really wanted to drink earlier - hot, back aching from sitting too long, head hurting from staring at computer screen all day, period pain too. Then wanting a 'reward' for having achieved something. Before I joined this bus I would have had that bottle out of the fridge before I could even formulate the excuse of why I needed a drink. But I didn't drink. I thought 'No, Monday and Tuesday are AFDs and I'm going to stick to that'. I was also aware of my hangover today, just of feeling less able to cope with little things, and of therefore not wanting to drink tonight, but instead be kind to my body and give it a break. It sounds really obvious, but usually my reaction to a hangover is look forward to feeling better by having a drink in the evening. It's a step forward for me to value the nights off drinking rather than just suffering them.

Soma I do feel for you with your toothache! I hope you get it sorted quickly. Do go and see your GP, both for the anxiety (you might need your dose adjusting) and for the pain you're in at the moment. I wouldn't worry about having too much analgesia at the moment - you're in pain, that's what they're for! Do be careful with paracetamol-containing meds that you're not breaching the dosage limits; paracetamol can really screw with your liver.

I was a heavy smoker for years, by the way - I smoked roll-ups. Dead classy me. The cigars are just a way of smoking that isn't a cigarette.

saf I hope your feet are feeling better now.

joey your description of your family driving you to drink did make me laugh. Well done for resisting. I like being known as the one who gets up at 5.30am to look at the pond - it sounds very impressive and as though I do that regularly, whereas that was a complete one-off.

at ma being the one who needs the longer speculum. I'm the opposite unfortunately, my cervix is so low that they barely need one at all. I bet you were a tricky VE for your midwife ma.

Tristessa well done on passing your driving test!

Hello to the new people today. I haven't got much useful advice as I still drink too much, but welcome anyway - you're definitely in the right place!

See what I mean about not doing brief very well.

isinde you too could have a pond - a little half barrel in a corner even.

When's the big day?! Your garden sounds lovely and your DP does too. We aim for an edible garden, unfortunately it's the slugs and snails that seem to do most of the eating.

at your poor DP. I think slugs can strain the ethical values of the most committed buddhist! Yes I see your point - ponds and toddlers really don't go. You'd think we'd have fewer slugs seeing as we've got so many frogs (and a hedgehog, judging by the little poos I keep finding). Doesn't seem to be the case though.

Night night x

Not fab then. Despite name (I really thought putting it in writing would help) I drank a bottle. Feel useless as well as lethargic this morning. Husband ignoring me. Son being stroppy. Bones hurting. Tell you what you guys, it is a good job that I have never drunk in the day because I would love a drink now. That is bad isn't it? Just one to take the edge off. I won't though just feel hopeless about not drinking tonight.

You have got me thinking though. How many dead make bodies could I hide if I built a pond?.....

TIWND We all know how you feel. It's the self-loathing and the hangovers that are worse than the drinking. And then of course we drink to get over both. You're doing something about it, and it's a truly lovely day. Another day. And maybe today's the day not to drink :)

Mia I have a confession to make. When we moved here, there was a huge pond. A massive one with a stream ending in a waterfall into the pond. It was in fact the mother of all ponds. As soon as DD started walking, I started having nightmares about it. We couldn't get a top for it, and railing it off seemed to increase the danger. So I had it filled in. Now that both DCs are older and can swim and stuff, there is nothing I'd like better than to have the pond back :(

morning all - only done a quick catch up sorry. was busy yesterday worrying about a neighbour and trying to track down her gp and housing officer to check up on her. short version - she told me i needed to move ds's playhouse because it was reflecting light on her wall and the voices in her didn't like it. cue me spending the day worrying about whether she is in the throws of dementia or has existing mental illnesses and whether there are any agencies involved in overseeing her. so hello to all the newcomers and apologies for not name checking anyone (other than to say well done mia on changing attitudes/habits with the drink).

7 weeks today. will try and catch up better later

Today I used to be in the same position as you. Day after day I promised myself I would not drink but by 4pm I was ready to go to the shop and buy wine. I would finish the whole bottle, force it down sometimes, I didn't want any left over because I wasn't going to drink the next day. And so it went on. Until I joined this bus.

I didn't know how to beat the cravings so I always gave in. So my advice is to make a plan for this evening. Just do one day without a drink. For now. Just so that you know you can. Can you plan an early night, to sleep off the hangover? Because that will make your evening a bit shorter.

Then just break it up into half hour slots and plan an activity for each half hour - bath, catch up on beauty routines, go for a walk or exercise class or swim, phone a friend, come back here for a chat, ironing, sort out your photo collection, knitting, baking, whatever.

Get a good stock of different non-alcoholic drinks and some sweet treats to nibble on. Make sure you eat regularly and let us know if you're having a wobble.

Hopefully that will get you through day 1, and that's all you need to think about for now x

Faire and hopefully. Thank you. Early night no good. Not sleeping well and don't want to go to bed! Will think on other suggestions while I drive into work.

Thanks saf - it doesn't sound like much but it was a significant step for me. Did you get snything sorted out regarding your neighbour? That sounds worrying.

hopefully I appalled - I shall come round and dig up your garden myself! Actually I think it's a rare person that feels comfortable having a pond or pool when they have small children. It's just such a terrifying prospect, isn't it, of something tragic occurring. DD was 4 when we built the first one, and I was still paranoid then. I designed it so that most of it was less than a foot deep, with a deeper area in the middle that was covered with a safety grid below the surface.

today we managed three, but I guess it depends on how big you make the pond... What's your plan for not drinking today? It should definitely include coming on here for some hand-holding.

Well I was feeling a bit flat and pointless today, but coming on here for a chat has cheered me up. I've been consumed with the blog (it's here) for the last few days and now it's up I'm feeling a bit 'well was that worth the effort?' and empty of purpose. I always miss DD when she's away, despite needing the break. I should tackle the festering pit of chaos I call the house and do a late spring clean. I'm distinctly lacking in motivation though. I need a plan, stan!

isinde of course you are the driver, I just got confused because there are so many of us on the bus. I guess that makes mouse the conductor?!

Tonight I have to go to a meeting, which should be fun but I get social anxiety. Usually I would 'reward' myself afterwards with a glass of wine. I'm trying to think about other treats instead - why do most involve food?! Bought some Sainsburys ice-cream last week: Salted caramel and toffee. Sounds awful, I only got it because it was on special offer. DH and I agree it is THE best ice-cream we've ever had, and we've since bought another 2 tubs Maybe I'll have some of that.

Am also considering booking a facial & massage, but need to achieve more than just 2 weeks to earn that.

Today I think we all understand that viscious cycle you are in. Feeling hopeless, useless, ashamed, wobbly ... and what's the one thing that makes it better? Another drink ... and so the circle is perpetuated.

Hopefully and Faire are right, you have to distract yourself with little bitesize time-fillers - they can be duty or pleasure - I find a balance of both makes me feel smug (because I have actually got something done) and pampered (because I have done something positive for myself, instead of wrecking my body and psyche by pouring wine down my throat).

For me, it's always been breaking the cycle that's been the sticking point - once I have done that for a few days, it all becomes easier as I get my self-esteem back. Until a month ago, I always went back to the wine when the mood took me, but now I have decided that can't carry on that behaviour indefinitely - I want to live my life, rather than merely exist in it.

I realised that I had to plan some permanent and some long-term changes in order to become the 'new me'. My running is going well, 5 times in a week, and I am already up from 1 minute running to 9 walking, to 2 running and 4 walking. The weather does help, and the bonus is I'm getting a nice gentle suntan :)

You can do it - you will find some strength within if it's what you really want. Keep going x

well i am totally altruistically willing to let you come here and dig me a pond mia - hate to think of you feeling pointless and i am a very generous soul

i got in touch with her housing officer and will chase up again today - also went into the local surgery but without her full time name they couldn't search their records for her (seems weird to me that they can't search under address - thought databases would be a bit more flexible at the amount they spend on nhs systems). will try to get her full name from housing association and pass on to surgery today.

having my hair cut this afternoon which i guess is my 7 week treat now i think about it so i will feel a bit less bad about spending money on myself - my interview is tomorrow so at least my hair will be prepared keep catching myself talking out loud about why i want to be a therapist and why the integrative route rather than continuing with the psychodynamic and ra ra ra. practising with an imaginary interviewer.

good advice from faire on how to tackle day one. i really second the early night - the more benefits you can feel from not drinking the better and an early night is something most people don't treat themselves to enough, unless, in our case, it's because we pass out which isn't all that restorative funnily enough i've relied heavily on sweet treats. am trying to calm that down now as my breasts are taking over the universe and i'm not impressed!

saf I lauged at your breasts taking over the world! Sweet treats, hmm its tricky - most alcoholic alternatives seem to involved chocolate or sugar.

You are so right about getting enough sleep - I am really struggling with that. I've got in the habit of reading or doing puzzles every night in bed, my body just can't seem to switch off unless I'm exhausted

Good luck with your interview tomorrow!

TIWND I have a job and I became conscious that my drinking was severely affecting my performance at work. You turn up hungover day after day, you stop concentrating, you start being sloppy. My family depend upon my being able to function at work. It was ridiculous, the fact that not only was I harming myself, I was harming my husband and children through my lack of engagement and also potentially their financial wellbeing.

Like you, at one stage, I was drinking a bottle a night. A bottle a night was manageable. Then I progressed further. A bottle and a half. Then it became a 'good' night when I hadn't polished off two bottles. Weekends were a joy for I could 'safely' start drinking at lunchtime. Train journeys were fab, another drinking opportunity!

You are not so far on. Drinking is progressive. You didn't just suddenly decide to drink a bottle of wine a night. You worked up from one glass to two glasses etc. It is so very easy to start and so blooming difficult to stop.

We're here to help one another. I cannot forget all the kind words and support here when I lapsed and drank. All the babes were fab, and Mouse in particular was stalwart.

So, dear TIWND - be good to yourself tonight. Have a toe-nail painting interval, a lovely book or film, distract yourself by tidying your shoes out, get to grips with the cupboard under the stairs. Give yourself some little tasks that will give you pleasure when they are completed.