What would you do - crap birthday pressie

[soaccidentprone]

I'm 46 (today)
I asked dh for a new dressing gown, pointing him in the direction of m&s. I told him it was a test as to how well he knows me. We've been together 13 years. We have 2 black cats, and 2 ds's. I only have 1 white item of clothing - a t-shirt. I asked for a size 16-18 as I have put on 2 stone since I broke my leg last year.

this is what he bought me.

I like it, but it's not me. Plus he bought me a 12-14. The size I used to be.

I know it's my own fault for not being specific enough and showing him on the internet, but good god, after all these years together. This is so impractical, and so not me. Is this what he thinks I would like? Or did he just buy what he likes?

Why do blokes have to be so bloody useless at pressie buying?

Should I go with him to change it, or should I let him go by himself. Or should I just not bother and put it in a cupboard, before taking it to a charity shop in a couple of years? (Harsh but true!)

What would you do?

Happy Birthday! But honestly, have you tried to buy someone a dressing gown in M&S? You can either buy something that your granny would be delighted with going into hospital for an operation, or you can buy something that would be lovely for a teenager at a sleepover. Had to buy my sister one when she went into labour early, and it was one of the great stresses of my life.

Happy birthday accident!

Happy birthday! Seriously though, "a test to see how well he knows me"??? What would you do if he said that to you? TBH, that is exactly the kind of dressing gown DH would buy me I reckon - pretty, girly but not too OTT. Completely not to my taste either though . This is why DH and I don't do birthday presents. He gets me chocolates, bubbly and/or flowers and I am a happy bunny.

I once remarked to my partner that he was very good at choosing clothes to suit me, so I thought I'd try to return the favour. I picked out a couple of things and he tried them on: he looked like a local news reporter. It was awful. Guess what? I still actually love him; I'm just no good at picking men's clothing.

Not a fair test. Take it back, get something you want and forget it.

Happy Birthday

Mine was yesterday and I got the leather bag I adored from afar and a lovely Roberts radio plus some Dyptyque room spray. So thrilled with the pressies. I got them because I sent him email links to them in John Lewis. It worked a treat. This is after years of suffering naff jewellery and hideous underwear because he doesn't have a clue. The only good taste he ever displayed was in marrying me. I'm cool with that

At Christmas I asked for a scarf. I showed DH three examples of the sort of thing that I wasnted - all cream. I got an orange one. I have a green coat.

Next birthday give him a catalogue code or request a piece of technology that requires him pouring over Which.

I quite like the sound of that cece

OP-dressing gown isn´t to my taste, but if it fitted & looked OK, I´d keep it tbh.

nicnoc "If I ever said that I'd probably get a kids toy." Absolutely GENIUS. I'll remember that one if I'm ever unfortunate enough to get told that again ;)

Another one who feels sorry for your husband. He could have done a lot worse.

Like others, I thought it was going to be a garish bright pink thing from Ann Summers or similar.

That's actually quite a nice dressing gown.

Using a present as a "test" isn't fair at all. If you wanted something specific then you should have sent a link or physically showed him in the shop. Now he's going to be gutted that he's "failed".

You could tell him it was a bit cheap - compared to this one - two HUNDRED quid! For a dressing gown!

Lol, well let's hope it never happens 21YOM! Keep the other suggestion in mind too - you never know your luck!

I've been married a long time and don't allow DH to buy me anything he chooses himself. Some men have the knack of choosing a present their partner will love and some men just don't. Sometimes he might buy me a surprise small Christmas gift. Last Christmas it was chocolates though he knows I'm trying to lose weight. I'd give him the exact description of what you want down to the code colour and size and if he still gets it wrong (not unheard of I'm afraid) then you'll have to buy your own. Sorry not to be of more help!!

He's lopped a dress size or 2 off you and you're complaining?!

It isn't fair to test anyone like this and clothes are such a personal thing for most people. Before I clicked on the link I thought it was going to be something really slutty/tacky. Then I remembered you sent him to M&S What he picked was nice enough, unoffensive etc so what's the problem? I'd have been happy with it.

If you don't like it smile sweetly, say thank you and just ask him for the receipt (although M&S aren't that strict) as it is too small. Then choose something you do like. But don't act like he's failed your test because he picked the wrong clothing for you.

Hi i get it!!! My husband truly fucked up one Christmas on the present front and I just felt so hurt. Its a hard one you feel so pathetic for letting it get to you but you just feel so unloved and misunderstood at the same time. The following year i wrote a list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! never thought i'd be one of those women but couldn't face another year of upset!!!!!!!!

At Christmas MIL asked for a dressing gown. DH asked FIL what size she wanted and he said "16-18". So off we went to M&S and found one that would be nice - but it only came in 14-16 or 18-20. DH was utterly paralysed! He really wanted to do the right thing, but he didn't want to buy the smaller one, and it be too small and make her feel bad, or buy the bigger one, and have her think he thinks she's huge, and make her feel bad...

The problem isn't necessarily that men don't get it, sometimes it's that they do, but they also know sometimes they can't do right for doing wrong!

I always send oh shopping for presents with an exact and detailed list of what it is I am wanting, which means that eighty percent of the time, it suits my requirements. The other twenty percent sits in the back of my wardrobe until I can sneak it off to charity.
It's not fair to send people out with a challenge and more importantly you won't end up with what you want.

Op, you've had a bit of a slating. Great thread though!

It reminds us of stuff - hit a nerve or two maybe...

Men are crap at buying presents. I wanted a Bay tree for my birthday years ago, and got a food mixer. The following year I wanted the complete works of Shakespeare and got a sat nav for my Beetle. For Christmas two years ago, I wanted a Kindle, and got a BodyShop wicker basket full of straw with a few bottles of lotion lurking within. This Christmas I got what I wanted, my decree nisi.

My MIL once confided in me that fil had done some christmas shopping!! and shed found the most gorgeous jumper hidden away - christmas day came and on opening presents,hers was a watch!! the jumper was for me!!!

MIL was furious and told him so.

21yearoldman, believe it or not my partner said that he didn't want to tell me what to get him, because apparently he is "easy to buy for, anything from [power tool shop] would be fine!".

He already has a large collection of tools, I don't know what half of them are and he only seems to use a few of them . All I could think of to do was buy him something expensive at random which he could then take back and buy what he really wanted that I would never see again anyway.

I can't buy presents for men, I just don't know what they like. This year I bought my husband a beautiful cashmere scarf in a lovely colour. He opened it said thanks but didn't seem too enthusiastic. Later I asked him if he liked it, he said 'I don't like scarves' (he is from a culture in which people are quite blunt, about your cooking, presents, no gushing lying unfortunately).

That's why I'm not too hard on him, I'm a crap pressie buyer and am just glad he still thinks of me romantically, even if the present isn't perfect.