What would you do - crap birthday pressie

[soaccidentprone]

I'm 46 (today)
I asked dh for a new dressing gown, pointing him in the direction of m&s. I told him it was a test as to how well he knows me. We've been together 13 years. We have 2 black cats, and 2 ds's. I only have 1 white item of clothing - a t-shirt. I asked for a size 16-18 as I have put on 2 stone since I broke my leg last year.

this is what he bought me.

I like it, but it's not me. Plus he bought me a 12-14. The size I used to be.

I know it's my own fault for not being specific enough and showing him on the internet, but good god, after all these years together. This is so impractical, and so not me. Is this what he thinks I would like? Or did he just buy what he likes?

Why do blokes have to be so bloody useless at pressie buying?

Should I go with him to change it, or should I let him go by himself. Or should I just not bother and put it in a cupboard, before taking it to a charity shop in a couple of years? (Harsh but true!)

What would you do?

Oh - and Happy birthday!

I have to point out exactly what I want to my husband (item, colour, size etc). I don't really take much notice these days. But every so often he surprises me with a beautiful piece of jewellery so can't really complain!

You asked for an m&s dressing gown and he bought you one. I fail to see the problem. If you wanted a specific one you should have bought it yourself or gone with him. Weird.

just swap it. It was not a test of how much he loves you.

How would you have felt if he'd bought you a size 22?

DH sometimes buys me a size 10, bless him, I wear 14

Maybe he fancied seeing you in something different and why can't it be you?

It doesn't fit and that is the issue so tell him you need a different size and can you have the receipt to exchange it. Then you can either get it in the right size and give it a chance or swap it for the size and colour you want.

I reckon he saw the hearts, remembered it was a test, and thought hearts = love, I love soaccidentprone, so this is perfect.

How old are you? you should know better, and the dressing gown looks like its been in the tumble dryer too many times.

I was expecting either an old lady's thing or some miniscule sex kitten number in black and red, and feather trimmed.

I don't see what on earth is the matter with this one, except you might have preferred long. OK, wrong size, but men don't listen very well to specifics. Too much detail just sounds like 'blah blah' white noise to them.

I don't know why we do this to men, or to ourselves. We ask them to surprise us by choosing and then we moan because they always choose something we think is crap. Just get it yourself or go with him next time.

Just picturing the OP yelling, "I'm fatter than that, you bastard!"

I do have some sympathy, I feel awful when I get a crap present, and it feels like someone couldn't be bothered to think about what to get but just grabbed the first thing on offer BUT that isn't what the person buying the gift is thinking, its my own insecurity.

So I'll see your harmless dressing gown a "flattering" size too small and raise you a blue sweatshirt with appliqued horses heads, saddles, and stirrups on it, "because you like horses". For my 43rd birthday. Bought for me by my parents. Who raised me for 18 years, and have seen me everyday for the past 10 years and not once, not once, seen me wearing anything at all like that. Scarred for life? You betcha.

Once I'd got past the cats bum face stage I ended up grateful it wasn't a wuluf fleece. At least you can changeyour dressing gown out at Marks. And wasn't it a MN'er who was once bought a pack of elastic?

itstha - are there words that can instil greater horror than "appliqued horses heads, saddles and stirrups"? I doubt even Zara Philips could have carried that off.

Well all I know is that I couldn't carry it off. Not even for wearing when mucking out in January, in the pitch black, with no-one else around.

The horses would have laughed, that is true.

I'd be chuffed to bits to get that.

Dp is very competent in general, loves me and can be fabulous at buying presents BUT goes into a complete blind panic in any shop bigger than the local butcher. He has an excellent sense of direction but is completely incapable of navigating from one end of asda to the other. Put him in a dressing gown shop and he'd buy something perfect. Put him in Marks and he'd stomp, mutter, swear and buy the nearest thing he thought would do.

OK so your dressing gown is totally impractical - but it's feminine and attractive and you did ask for something to match your personality. I think he's done quite well!

My ex bought me 2 toilet seats for my birthday!!

A test to see how well you know me never works in my experience. And to be fair to the man you asked him for a dressing gown from M&S which is exactly what you got. Depending on how big the M&S you took him to was he may not have had much choice.

As for the size, I suspect his heart was in the right place. It's hard for blokes to buy clothes that fit themselves, let alone for the women in their lives. STBDH still buys an XXL 3XL because he sees himself as "really really fat", when actually he's lost over a stone in the past 7-8 weeks.

I think this is a massively flattering gift, it's romantic, he clearly sees you as quite young and attractive and thinks you are a nice medium size.

I would actually like this dressing gown and I'm in my early forties.

I'd be far more upset with a fluffy granny one which wasn't remotely attractive.

You set him up to fail, and he did.

I love romantic presents, my husband gets it right about 2 times in every 3, but I do have the odd gold and black necklace or rather too gaudy handbag that won't see the light of day BUT I appreciate the thought behind it (which is that I am a glamorous sexy lady who is always out on nights out, whereas in reality I'm a dumpy middle-aged woman who goes out about twice a year)/

Midwife. That episode of father their hilarious!

Father TED!

The horse head sweat shirt made me laugh out loud!

Happy birthday.

I do think yabu but I can see your point even if I don't agree.

My DH is actually very switched on about clothes that would suit my awkward figure (6ft2, big bust, odd numbered waist and hippy) so I trust his judgment I wouldn't test him though because he does love me, I know he does and he knows me very well - he just isn't telepathic and always up to speed about the fact I'm not into colour x now or am feeling frumpy or glam or, or, or...

One anecdote though - he once bought me a very nice, but not 'me' nightie. Not prostituty, not overtly glam really just a nice fitted thing that I wouldn't have chosen. In a size smaller may I add.
Having tried it on I wasn't overly enamoured as it was a bit too snug here and there, colour wasn't great on me - it didn't have time to get warm he got it off me so quickly.
He very much appreciated the snugness (he has an amazing blindness to my fat bits) and I very much appreciated being made to feel so attractive despite all my wobbly bits.

He knew I would never choose it and he would never ever want to make me feel like I had to wear something for him but he used it as an opportunity to get me to branch out from my basic 'uniform'. Comfy pjs and fluffy dog slippers are hardly the height of eroticism.

That has been one of the best presents in terms of return - I don't even care that I don't really like it, it still gets the same reaction and has often brought a happy ending to a fraught day. He is very easy to take care of when he's just ready for a 'happy sleep'...ahem.

That may not have been the intention but I would hope I could cut my DH some slack if he had managed to cut me some for sending him out with 'it's a test of how well you know me' echoing in his ears. If I ever said that I'd probably get a kids toy.

Also loling at the sweatshirt - poor you, pretty cringeworthy! Bless 'em, they tried!