Want a relationship with MIL

[nancerama]

DS is 11 months old. MIL has only seen him once and never cuddled him. She remarried just before I married DH and appears to want nothing to do with her "old family". FIL died just before DS was born, so my poor boy has no grandparents on his dad's side.

My mum loves him to bits and sees him twice a week, but I'm so sad for DS that he will never have that relationship with his other grandmother. I am desperately sad for DH too. He puts on a brave face, but I know he misses his mum.

Well, I only had contact with one grandmother and I just accepted it to be honest. With good parents around, I don't think lack of grandparents is traumatic.

Bear in mind, MIL could do this if she wanted to. If she isn't doing it, it is very likely because she doesn't want to, not because of your DH or her DH. That is very hard, but forcing the issue could result in your DC being let down. That's worse than not having a lot of contact in the first place.

We don't go on about FIL to our DC, because he shows no sign of wanting to visit them or even speak to them on the 'phone. He could, but he doesn't.

She is bizarre though. She sends Christmas and Easter gifts to DS, and I assume she will send a birthday gift next month. If she wanted no contact, surely she wouldn't even bother with that? I guess I should waste my energy worrying about something that makes sense instead!