Hi all,new to mumsnet so please be gentle!
Heres my story,my ex of 10 years left us,4 years ago.I've never been able to shake him off,childhood sweethearts,my first love,first child together etc..
Anyway,around christmas time,i told him how i was feeling,that i still loved him,always had,and would love for us all to try again.I had been picking up on signs from him too,calling for nothing in particular,things he said,the way he was looking at me,little things like that.I know he had a gf,but he had always said he wasnt that happy with her.Maybe i should of kept my mouth shut,but it had been eating away at me for years,and felt i needed to tell him.
He started coming round a bit more,for a cuppa and for some tea...he was spending little more time with our son so felt that was good too.We had a good chat,said he felt the same.After a good few weeks,he had left her and was slowly seeing us more as a family.Everything was great,until he started missing his old 'carefree' life as he put it,he missed going out at weekends and having a good session with her and their mutual mates.
One day our son was just being a tipical 7 year old,you know a bit loud and bouncing around.He said then,i can't handle all this noise!! I said ,welcome to family life!! She has a 12 year old boy so he pleases himself i suppose,as they do at that age.
Anyway,i'm just totally gutted that hes left us again,feels really hard the second time round.Our son was only young when he left before so he cant remember it,which is good.He has asked why dad is not coming round like he did,at the moment i've just said hes really busy.He accepts that,and i suppose its because we were taking it all real slow anyway for our sons sake,as didn't want to confuse him.Which im so thankful for now.
I just don't understand how he can be so selfish on his reasons for not wanted to be with us again.
He said he does want the family life but he can't let go of his old life either.He knows as well as i do he can't have them both!
Has anyone else had this happen to them? Any advice on moving on would be helpful.Obviously though hes my sons dad so need to still have contact.
Thanks for reading.