Why do so many women put up with rubbish menfolk?

[motherfunkerhunkermunker]

Discuss.

perhaps if they didn't there would be too few to go aroung

LOL!

OK, another question - why do so many women raise such ridiculous excuses for men?

cause they have low self esteem and low confidence. They dont think they are worth having a decent man and find it hard to believe that things could be better. They have trouble convincing themselves that they are worth loving and have alot to offer and dont think they have the strengh to cope alone.

Tamba - think Irather agree with you.

OK, another question - why are there so many women with low self-esteem? Is it to do with the way they're raised too?

mfhm in answer to your first q, imo I think it has to do with low self esteem and the belief that "no-one else will want you with so and so many kids in tow" (which is soooo untrue)

the second q I will take the fifth amendment as I have not finished the job yet

women make excuss for men as its what they are 'trained' to do. Woman traditionally are the caring, nuturing role and are the pacifiers in relationships. Also women are usually the more empathic and try to look at things from other points of views which leds to them trying to make excuses for the men

Also, its because they are scared that if they stop making excuses for them they will have to think about your first question

apathy and financial reasons/excuses

unfounded optimism

In my case it was because I wouldn't even admit to myself that there was a problem, let alone anyone else

I lived for 12 years with a bully who abused me for years. Not physically I hasten to add, but emotionally and verbally

I honestly didn't realise how good life could be until I met my DP

I had the choice, either stay with a rubbish man or bring my daughter up on my own

Best decision I ever made.

Agree 100% with Tamba, some would rather have an awful man who treats them bad than no man at all

Message withdrawn

Why women with low self essteem?
Ah, Blame the media. They show us pics of celeb mums who have slimmed back down to size 0. The tell us how crap we are, and how compared to what our mothers / grandmothers managed with, we have it easy etc. I mean the closest thing granny got to MN was a chat over the washing line with Mrs. Next Door.

mumatuks it is THE men who mostly give women the low esteem in a relationship

GGG, had forgotten that thread - MrsBubsDeVere, I think Many more threads like that from her too

Media definitely plays a part in it. And possibly the "you can have it all" society - er, most of us can't, really.

Oh I agree with that doormat, I was just trying it from a different angle. I was with a guy for 3 years who told me every day how fat and useless I was! Sorry if I upset everyone.

Low self esteem can be caused by so many things

The parenting you experience
how you fitted in at school
How much notice you take of things around you - ie media
how you interact with peers, friends

Sometimes its easy to fall into a pattern of being insecure. Someone says the origional thing to cause you to feel crap about yourself so you back away, then you are cautious getting close or giving the real you to someone else, and so you start to miss the emotional closesness etc, then you start to think that its because you dont deserve to be valued and it lowers you self esteem even further.

Its a case of breaking the cycle otherwise you will just go round in circles and it takes its affect on your family, work etc

media wants us to be the chief cook, bottle washer, perfect housewife (watchout anthea turner you bint) mother, worker, perfectly polished and friggin sex object all rolled into one

mumatuks should of told him for 3 yrs what a spotty, shitty arse he had

I did, and left him and now with DH who is wonderful to me. {pass the bucket pukey emoticon!)

Ive never felt more secure, or happy since Ive been single.

Not sure women realise how crap men are until they have kids with them. By which time it's too late unless you want to separate kids and dad. Then it's down to margins of crapness...what can I accept and what can I not.

Of course some men change too after having kids as my DP eventually has done. Took a year for him to realise what needed to be done but he got there thank goodness.

Next question Hunker

Although i burnt the kids dinner to a crisp answering this thread

actually, there are just as many rubbish women around as rubbish men, although the symptoms are different usually.

I hate it when mn'ers start bitching about men in general, and belittling their contribution to the family, because it doesnt meet expectations.

True NN

but i dont think anyone is belittling men here, I think its more a descussion on the psychology of women

Message withdrawn

Not so sure - I had a cr@p man, but have never had low self-esteem. I put up with it because he was the father of my children and his crappiness was only really apparent after the children came along so I had no forewarning. I owed it to them to give it the best shot I could.