In my own case, it's definitely logistics. I know that sounds awful, but don't know how I can make the break.
I don't have great self esteem, but have enough and long to be on my own. I've been a single mother before, I could do it again.
But circumstances now are completely different. I cannot afford to buy or rent anything for myself and 2 kids. Even all the equity in this place (were I to get it) wouldn't be enough to buy (with deposit and mortgage). If I left, am guessing I would be "intentionally homeless" and get no help ?? If he agreed to go, I couldn't afford this place on my own so it'd have to be sold anyway.
Am supposing that council would require what equity I did get to be used on private rent before they'd help me a year or 2 down the line ? Only work p/t now ..... would need to get f/t job, which I had when I was a single mum with only 1 child, and just about managed to buy ex council flat. There's no way I could do that now, the way prices have run away. Am living a lot further away than I used to from my old job .... and even if I could get back there, this would be compunded by the time and expense of extra travel /childcare.
I simply don't know what to do. I have no spare money whatsoever to "salt away" for this plan of action.
So that's why I put up with it. Don't think DP is any happier .... at least not judging by his short temper, his snapping and belittling of me. I dream of the lottery - not to be greedy but simply enough to save my sanity. In the meantime I bite my lip so as not to provoke him even when he's being an ignorant pig. I often wish him dead - there, I've said it. But can't see any other way out.
I probably sound totally pathetic ...... but cannot see how to escape.
So, I put up with it because I feel I have no real choice. How can you have a choice if you can't house yourself and your kids ?