Why do so many women put up with rubbish menfolk?

[motherfunkerhunkermunker]

Discuss.

a lot of women dont make it clear to their men what they will/wont tolerate though

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wot

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I think also that women can be very determined to work at marriage and not give up easily, it's very hard to split up with your partner if as most people do you expected it to be forever

ironically I think the same people who initially delay because they can't afford to get married sometimes become those who feel they can't afford to divorce

Robin3 you have summed it up very succinctly!

eefs are you still with the crap mman?

Two main reasons I feel are low self esteem and low self confidence.

I think that not wanting to separate the kids from their father plays a big part in it.

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OK, stand by for a Sweeping Generalisation
I think women put in a lot of effort into making a relationship work, particularly in the early years, and this may mean tolerating a lot of minor crap. However many men seem to take the relationship for granted and dish out the minor crap in great dollops but are less than tolerant in return. Later on in a relationship the minor crap had built up into a mountain and you realise it wasn't all that minor in the first place and then wish you had been more assertive from the start. By then old habits are hard to break and it becomes a big issue to change things.

OK, next question...

Do women who stay in appalling relationships really think their children will thank them for it in the future?

Yes

Probably some do and some don't. You clearly think they shouldn't.

Letting your wife/partner down by not being helpful/supportive/loving enough, is one thing and I'm sure women do think they are enduring for the kids sake.
Letting your kids down by being aggressive/inconsistent/absent/angry etc. is another and often the result of this is for the mother to have very low self-esteem. Unravelling what is best for the kids in this case is probably quite hard even if it's obvious to everyone else.

Because they think they can't do any better.

I was one of those women. I was wrong. I could do a lot better as anyone who has met my current dh will tell you!

Seriously - I reckon that most men don't show how rubbish they are until a little way into the relationship. If, by that time, you have fallen in love with them then you stick at the relationship telling yourself that no-one is perfect.

Women make excuses for rubbish men because they are embarrassed to admit that they are with someone who is rubbish!

Oh - one of the reasons I left my 1st dh is that I didn't want dd1 growing up with parents who argued all the time.

Imo it is never better for the kids if parents in a bad relationship stay together.

Maybe they fear losing their kids altogether?

apathy.

I know it works both ways annie, but there was a survey a while ago that found that older women thrived living on their own but men didn't handle it at all well. My point really is that men often seem to call the shots during the nest building phase and it might be because they take things for granted, whilst women are over-tolerant for the sake of the relationship. Eventually it all builds up, and I for one wish I had been assertive earlier. Only trivial matters maybe, but if the pattern isn't broken now I'll be stuck with it into retirement.

maybe their parent were rubbish, so they think it's normal to be treated badly.