Firstly there is nothing going on between my ex and myself but I do enjjoy his company. Needless to say DP would never understand so I haven't told him about the time we went for coffee, the time we went to nandos or the the time we went to the cinema. I do feel guilty but I don't know what to do.
DP has asperger traits but has never been diagnosed. He seems to think that "because it could be aspergers" that's it, he can ignore people and do all the ignorent and socially awkward things he's always done because he has an excuse but he has not been diagnosed. Therefore when he ignores me as I'm speaking or rushes past me to get through the door first or sits there stone faced when I try and have a little joke I can't help but think "IS it aspergers or are you just being an arsehole??". I don't have this with my ex. He complinements what I'm wearing (and not just comments that he can see my boobs like DP does), we laugh, he laughs at my daft jokes, I laugh at his. He doesn't barge past me to get through doors first, he doesn't sit there counting out to the penny how much I owe him for the meal it it's 100% fair. He listens to me when I'm talking which is my major bug bear with DP.
But DP can be really sweet and he'll do anything for me if I directly ask him to but he's SO socially awkward I hate going out anywhere with him. That's not right is it?
And it the meantime, ex and I are out having a good time and DP is sat at home obsessing over his car insurance/car/car insurance/car/car insurance ...... thinking I'm out with "sadie". 
The hardest part is, how do I KNOW it's aspergers and that he's just not an ignorant twat?