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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH says I've made him unhappy for 2yrs

93 replies

Alipiggie · 11/02/2006 17:56

and that he doesn't feel he can carry on. He says that he's tried to change me and I never never listen. Two ds's 18mnths apart meant that I was constantly busy as SAHM and now he says he felt left out as I did everything!!!! Emigrated to US with him and now the ds's have settled looks like if he won't go for counselling we'll be heading back to UK and single parenthood!! Just looking for friendly voices as feeling very very low. PS found out he'd been having an affair with new colleague here just after we arrived and that was all my fault too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Alipiggie · 12/02/2006 22:11

I'm 40 and yep went to school there too Bawnmore and then Rugby High how about you?? My mum was a teacher. so as it's a small world guess we could know each other somehow

OP posts:
Beetroot · 12/02/2006 22:13

i went to dunsmore. is called something else now. i am 43.

trying ot think of others i knew.
i left when i was 16 and went to stratofr college and then never went back so don't know many others htere.

Jacky Taylor?
Wooding?

Original poster
Alipiggie · 12/02/2006 22:17

Yes it does have another name, can't think what it is right now. Did you know the Bludstone's. Gosticks??? Parents live on Bawnmore Rd so it'll be back there again. Poor things. Feel sorry for them too.

OP posts:
shimmy21 · 12/02/2006 22:19

Ali you sound incredibly brave and positive about what must be a terrible shock for you. Is it to early to thin about practicals such as how your dh is planning to maintain contact with the children, maintenance payments etc. He can't just bundle you off on a plane and act as though you don't exist any more. You need to stick up for yourself and your kids here, luv.

Beetroot · 12/02/2006 22:20

nah, i didn't. am trying to think of people i knew from your schoool but can't!

i used to live in HIllmorten Road

Original poster
Alipiggie · 12/02/2006 22:23

Particularly as I thought things were going reasonably well for a couple with two small children who'd just gone through a big upheaval. We have bank accounts in uk so he'll have to transfer the money to those every month. Don't worry I'm going to make him pay for accommodation and we'll need a car as I sold everything I ever owned to be with him. Great isn't it. As ds1 has been in private nursery school that has to be taken into account and as we're leaving a big detached house for nothing I expect him to ensure that the children's standard of living is maintained. My cousins a lawyer so if all else fails I'll get her to recommend a good barrister. Ha ha

OP posts:
Original poster
Alipiggie · 12/02/2006 22:24

Beetroot try using friends re-united that'll help Know Hillmorton rd well. Where are you now??huj

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Original poster
Alipiggie · 12/02/2006 22:24

sorry small fingers got the keyboard there

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Beetroot · 12/02/2006 22:24

perhaps you should look at Southan or Leamington once you have settled baCK. rUGBY NOT ALL THAT nice imo

Beetroot · 12/02/2006 22:25

somerset no. not been back for 25 years apart form a couple of visists

shimmy21 · 12/02/2006 22:25

And has he no qualms about not being able to see his children? How often is he intending to come over and visit?

Original poster
Alipiggie · 12/02/2006 22:26

Seen a nice little house to rent in Bishops Itchington and yep you're right about Rugby, not what I want for ds's Leamington's lovely as are quite a few of the other villages. But temporary to start with in Rugby would be okay by me

OP posts:
Original poster
Alipiggie · 12/02/2006 22:27

Shimmy knowing him he'll tie it in with a business visit maybe once a year if we're lucky!!! He's always travelling and loves it guess that was one of the problems. He wasn't designed to be a family man. And as they're young they can't go on own yet and I wouldn't let them anyway.

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Original poster
Alipiggie · 12/02/2006 22:28

Beetroot do you like Somerset. Family all originally from Yorkshire.

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Beetroot · 12/02/2006 22:28

yes loads of pretty villages. and rugby will be fine to start with

Beetroot · 12/02/2006 22:30

ali, i am a london girl really so it has taken me a while to settle here. but it is great. ilive in a small city with access to loads of stuff.

it really depends what you want.

i love the north butit si just to wet for me.

Original poster
Alipiggie · 12/02/2006 22:30

Do you work??? I'm looking at either marketing or admin to start with to get back into it. Been marketing manager for international Telecomms company and It Sales Account Manager. So plenty of rusty options

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Original poster
Alipiggie · 12/02/2006 22:31

I lived in Fleet before I jacked it all in for dh. Hampshire was lovely and it was great to be able to get in and out of london as and when. Friends down in that part of the world too. So could always consider that in the long run

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Beetroot · 12/02/2006 22:33

yes i work freelance and it can sometimes be difficult in my line of work. but it is pretty specialised.

bristol and bath are good citys for work.

Beetroot · 12/02/2006 22:34

Jacky MOrgan?

Original poster
Alipiggie · 12/02/2006 22:34

Love bath but'll be way out of my price league for living. Got to go, ds1 demanding pc. Will be back online tomorrow. Thanks for all the support

OP posts:
Beetroot · 12/02/2006 22:34

Dominic Arnold? LS boy

Original poster
Alipiggie · 12/02/2006 22:35

Jacky Morgan sounds v familiar will try and think of more for tomorrow Byee for now
ali

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mistressmiggins · 13/02/2006 07:47

Ali

I live in Worcestershire but work in Stratford so if you move to L/Spa not that far to meet up.

Keep us posted and well done for taking such a big step

awayninahmanger · 13/02/2006 12:28

Ali my father is just outside Rugby and I will prob be spending a good bit of time there over the course of my mat leave as refuge from a situation in some respects similar to your own. I am 39 this year and was at Rugby High. Will look out for you on here. Very best of luck to you wishing you happiness.

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