Nutty, have just re-read your other recent post of the last few weeks. Please, if you get a moment, have a look at them again too ...... there's so much stuff in them you wrote which was heartbreaking and was enough to have a lot of "strangers" worrying.
Today, you're writing like a completely different person and if people here seem - to you - to be "unconcerned" (and they're most definitely not) because they think what you're planning is a bad idea, it's only because we believe - based on what we know of your XP - that he's capable of dragging you back down again very quickly, should he get his feet under the table again.
From a practical point of view, you say you're worried about him committing suicide, well, of course you are if he has a tendency to depression, yet you also say that he's not made any such threats yet. Please DON'T beat yourself up about what might happen ... what you're worried about might NOT happen too. Likewise, you say you're worried about his psycho family (and, must admit I don't quite understand what's going on there exactly) but, if you say he's moving back temporarily because - somehow - he's "at risk" on his own, then surely, when he does eventually move back out again, wouldn't his family be the same problem then? ....
.... in other words, you really have to try and draw a line somewhere here. It strikes me that XP is going to have the same problems re: family and depression whether he's with you or not, so what is the advantage to him coming back ?
I also think you're playing a dangerous game with the housing people. So long as he has a roof - no matter what the circumstances of that roof - he is always going to come way down the list, say, compared to someone on the streets. If he can get extra points because he's depressed, then surely he'll get those no matter where he's actually living ?? If, as you've intimated, he is hopeless at getting his arse in gear and organising all this (therefore needing your help), then isn't there a risk he's going to be just as laid back about it when it comes to the crunch of moving again ? That old saying - you can lead a horse to water but you can't amke it drink comes to mind ...... there will be a point where, with the best will in the world, you've done everything you can for him, but if he's not prepared to take the next step for himself, all your effort will have been in vain.
In your shoes, I would be terribly terribly worried that once back, I'd have a devil's won job shifting him again ........ and remember everything you've recently told us about how he's sucked the spirit out of you ever since you met, how he controls and scrutinises your every move ....
I don't need to repeat again the impact of this upon the kids, but I agree with most other posters. Children have by far the best chance of coping with and accepting their parents' separation if there are very clear boundaries set out from the start. They do not cope at all well if their hopes are raised and dashed all over again. Even if your kids were teenagers I don't think they'd fully understand however much the situation were fully explained to them. As yours are a lot younger, I think the potential for trauma is very high given what you're planning. And remember too, that this man's treatment of you is not a good role model for them to witness.
His family: if they are as dangerous as you say, your XP must tell the Police. If he chooses not to, that is his problem. If they are as dangerous as you say, I'd feel relieved that as one of the benefits of separating, I'd potentially have less connection to them myself. Again, you cannot fight his battles for him for ever more. You mentioned something about "them" trying to get you out of your house which I didn't understand .... how could that happen ? Whatever .... for goodness sake, get an injunction against them if you truly fear for yourself and your kids. And think on, if XP isn't there, surely that means less likelihood of his family causing trouble for you.
Please, please try and find that feisty woman who, just a few days ago was seething over her partner's treatment of her. You knew then that how he behaved was wrong - do you really want that again, even if for a short time ? And do you really want to run the risk of it somehow turning into a long time. You deserve so much better than that.
Sorry ..... I'm rambling on now and I know you don't know me from Adam, but maybe this will convince you that people do care about you, so much so they spend ages typing because they're fearful of the situation you're putting yourself in. To start making plans for life without him was very brave, don't let that get destroyed by guilt and "what ifs". Look, please don't think I'm speaking out of turn here but you come across - to me anyweay, can't speak for anyone else - as a typical, cliched "victim". These are people who've been put down, bulied, belittled, used, scared etc for so long that even though they know deep down what their partner's doing is wrong, they make excuses for them and/or shoulder the blame/responsibility for the bad stuff themselves. This is because their own personality is so deeply buried beneath a pile of crap, that they've lost sight of who they are and they find it impossible to see the wood for the trees. You recently wrote of your recognition for how things were between you and him ....... you are absolutely entitled to feel scared, disappointed and upset at the thought of starting over again on your on, and it's to your credit that you can remember the good stuff about him you once fell in love with, but please ask yourself this: what is most scary ? ..... starting over without him, or letting him sneak back into your lives and carrying on living as you were before (which you hated) ???