Dealing with my parent with mental health issues

[Polygon]

Can anyone recommend any resources where I can get information about "being the relative of someone with mental health issues"? I am finding it really difficult to work out how much I just have to accept because they´re ill and they can´t help it and they need me and how much I can "stand up for myself against their bullying" and particularly protect my children against physical violence. Can anyone recommend good websites, fora, books??

There is a "mental health" section on this forum, try there because it has loads of links to organisations taht can help. Also see if you can find the "we took you to stately homes" thread, it may not be totally relevant for you, but is about people with toxic relationships with their parents.

My mum is difficult in the extreme, is a physical problem that indirectly affects her mental health, so it does help to try not to take it personally, but i know just how hard it is to keep making allowances all the time, and then the guilt when you get angry - you're ony human and no, you dont have to put up with bullying, you can help by getting your parent the help they need, but if you have to take a step back after you have done that, for the sake of your own sanity, you must not feel guilty for doing so.

Hopefully someone wil be along with some more pertinent advice for you soon xx

A good website, google "depression fallout". It is for people dealing with family with MH issues.

Is the problem in question a personality disorder? If so, I recommend Out of the FOG

Log on to your local nhs website-there is help there for relatives of people with mental health problems-also, if they are being treated for their illness, have you tried to discuss this with their care co-ordinator/mental health nurse. Alternatively, contact your local mental health team for advice....good luck x

Thanks very much everyone. That´s all really useful. I´ve been looking at these things already and I´ll keep going.

Sorry, did that sound as if I´d already found these things before? I meant that I read your posts and looked at the links and it´s good stuff!

MIND are good for support.

It is very hard to work out what is them being a knob and what is illness. Resentments can really stack up.

My mantra with my family member is to say it but say it kindly and with patience.... but say it! Can be hard if you think you might set them off or contribute to their stress/illness.

Long experience has taught me though that you simply have to set boundaries or end up going under yourself.