Ok, may be long.
Currently live in my Dps house with my SN 5 year old, 11 year old ss and i am 8 months pregnant.
I have had the most hideous pregnancy, i've been ill from day one, have SPD pretty badly and am stressed and scared beyond belief that this baby will be born with problems the way my dd was.
Anyway, DP doing the bedroom up so new baby and dd can share. As usual, he wants to do it as cheap as possible, so a wall that needs plastering hasnt been, he hasnt treated the damp patch and he has refused to line the walls. Basically its going to look crap and probably need doing again.
We had words on Saturday about this. Im very hormonal, dd was early and absolutely nothing is done for this baby yet. Apart from "doing the room" dp has not done a thing, and seems to think i will be single handedly paying for the buggy and all the bedroom furniture (dd needs a bed, we havent a wardrobe etc so with buggy going to be in the region of £1000)
I had a bit of a sulk, and refused to make him a cup of tea, but i thought it had all passed over. Certainly he ate his dinner etc and was perfectly happy.
About 9pm i asked him to get me a drink, the reason being i was on the settee, knackered and my pelvis had locked up due to SPD (it does this a lot and its a painful long job to get up) . He refused, stating "maybe i'll do it later, maybe i'll look out the window and sulk instead". He then sat there smirking as it took me almost five minutes to get up to do it. Then he went to bed.
I was pretty angry, as clearly he had sat for 7 hours and waited for a chance to even things up, had watched me cook the dinner etc, all the time waiting to "give me a taste of my own medicine"
I went upstairs and started to have a go at him as to why he had felt the need to be clever over the drink, and he did his usual habit of pretending to sleep through what i said, or saying "really? How interesting, you're so right" in an utterly patronising tone, which is what he does all the time.
He knows how angry that makes me, and i have to admit after 20mins of this i snapped, and whacked him one (slapped him on the back i think) He just started laughing at me, and hanging onto me while i tried to get him off me. He actually hurt me more i think than i did him. I accept i was totally wrong and out of order, but i just snapped at him, i feel like im shouldering it all, and i cant even have a discussion over something without him smirking. Its like he sits there and winds me up and watches me go.
Anyway, fair enough he wasnt speaking to me yesterday. I apologised and admitted i had over reacted. During the conversation he continually referred to me as a "mongol" and "retarded". I accepted i shouldnt have hit him, but that maybe he needed to look at how he behaves during rows, and that he knows that sitting saying "oh yes you are so right" or just completely ignoring me just frustrates me, and perhaps it would be better if he tried to listen and answer when a row was starting.
This ended up with him yelling at me that he want taking any blame for anything.
He has now for the last two days taken to coming into the bedroom to go to bed after me, and turning the main light on whether i am asleep or not, if im watching the tv he just turns it over, turns the volume up and turns the main light on. Of a morning he is getting up before me, turning the tv on in the room loudly, opening windows and opening curtains, even though he knows i am asleep due to not sleeping well at night due to SPD pain.
Ive tried to talk to him today, and asked what he actually wants (ie does he want me to leave) but he kept standing there saying "do want you want arse"
I dont really know what to do. I have tenants in my house, which i dont own fully on my own (different story) so they would need notice, i have a baby imminently due, and am about to start maternity leave, but im self employed anyway so not exactly a hard hitter. I lent DP my 7k savings a year ago for something, so i have no reserves of cash, and i dont think he will pay it back (i think he has money hidden in the house and could repay it)
I dont really know where to go from here. I totally accept i should not have lashed out, and it was not acceptable, and it was my fault with no excuse. I should have controlled my temper, but i cant do more than i have, and i cant see how i can stay here with him basically walking round doing spiteful things to me, because as he says "i need a taste of my own medicine". Im not spiteful to him, i just snapped. I feel like i do it all here, and every attempt to address anything is met with his constant patronising attitude.
At the moment im sat here just thinking what do i do??