Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So i have my heart broken yet again

90 replies

saddotcom · 10/04/2012 20:11

April this year will be a year since i left my family home with my two children and legaly seperated from my husband. I have lived in four houses and now settled. In October i met a friend of a friend on facebook and was absolutely blown away with how i felt for this person. We talked 24/7 then arranged to meet as local. I have never felt so alive in years and then we arranged to go to a big dance i had tickets for....we saw each other few and far between after that as this guy is a musician in two bands and seperated from his wife same month as me and has two girls. He has a full time job also so it was a case of fit in when we could and had the most amazing times. Things went a bit odd after he was almost made homeless as he left everything to his wife and girls and never had face book to chat and the worst person i have ever come across for using a phone. We kind of lost touch and then he starting logging on to facebook in local pub and it was very touchy for a while but come christmas and my birthday he sent and invitation to go a trip away for couple of days...we kind of struggled along with the not so great contact and had the most amazing time away. I posted a few pics on fb as it was no secret to me but his ex wife and daughters had gained access and he was in the dog house and to cut it short has slowley but surely contacted me less and less with texts telling me how much he misses our time but its so difficult. I am absolutley devistated but dont know how to move on.

OP posts:
saddotcom · 13/04/2012 22:37

Wonder if i can think of something he actually has going for him? sense of houmour? erm did play the bass guitar very well and was an excellent cook...he would visit me with all the ingredients and cook a meal start to finish while we drank wine and listened to music...now that was very enjoyable but i can cook a meal drink a bottle of wine and laugh with you girls :) ...am i getting the right idea?

Thanks again for listening its great to be able to blurt all this out

OP posts:
littleorno · 13/04/2012 23:04

Your thread has really cheered me up... As a newly single laydee, I could do with learning from your mistake! What an ARSE of a man! Good on you for working it out. xx

saddotcom · 14/04/2012 00:06

Littleorno i am glad to be of service unfortunately at the beginning it was very romantic and so so very exciting and then all the lack of contact and all you read above...i dont regret that one little bit because i did enjoy all of it but the later part was very hurtful...is very hurtful and yes my heart does still feel broken but i see it for what it is now and know if thats good when it was shit then there is alot better to come and me feeling better about myself in time can surely attract a better person. I have learned a valuable lesson that i need to learn to be on my own and not rely on another to make me feel aceptable. It hurts as just got in there at 10.30 after being out with kids all day and dropped off at there dads the ikea and every where you look there is a couple choosing things for there home and sitting having a cuppa and baby stuff and i come home to an empty house but....its my house now and i have all the things i have been putting off doing and going to get the kids rooms all done for them coming home and keep busy and hope this horrid feeling buggers off. I am sure it will..good luck to you and please do learn from my mistakes xx

OP posts:
littleorno · 14/04/2012 13:53

Seeing couples choosing things together in Ikea would probably send me over the edge... you are doing well to stay strong! Hope you have a good day today, look after yourself. xx

saddotcom · 14/04/2012 17:47

I have kept busy all day and now its that time where i have the evening to myself and that lump in my throat and feel so very upset and damn him for those texts as i cant stop thinking about him...why? oh Why is this happening? i keep reading the posts and its like i been brainwashed. I think its maybe because i am so lonely when home alone but i dont want a friend round as thats just not the same...i hate this back and forward feeling.

OP posts:
Hattytown · 14/04/2012 19:28

Slap your hand every time you reach for the phone to text back. You really do need to be prepared for a bit of an onslaught of interest from him now, that will probably only cease if he meets someone else.

I'm interested in what you say about having a friend around not being 'the same' because one of your best strategies going forward will be to boost your friendships with strong, kind women. True friendships like this are so valuable.

It's a really good idea to keep re-reading this thread too.

saddotcom · 14/04/2012 19:55

Hatty i have some really great friends...two of which are true very dear friends and very strong characters and would be so mad to know i am sitting here in tears....but its really weird i am in company constantly and have a sister i love dearly but i am feel really agitated and kinda crabby and upset and its because of all this. I see to go from all guns blazing full of possitivity then home tonight after 5 mile walk and building kids furniture with one of my very good friends and i am trying to relax and read a book and enjoy the peace and i cant stop thinking of him...i dont know what to do to stop it all. He hasnt text since Thursday and at first i thought that made me feel in control by telling him i didnt want to see him and now i just feel so bad. It really makes no sense i totally get this and deserver any comments suggesting i am crazy but i dont know if its just because i am now giving myself time to think as no longer on Face book after being advised by councilor as i was way too addicted and chatted till all hours and it distracted me...I have lots of offers to go out etc but i just feel shit.

OP posts:
Hattytown · 14/04/2012 20:20

So lean on your friends a bit more. You might not feel up to going out, but a night in with a friend and a nice meal might appeal more. You'd do it for them, wouldn't you? Your counsellor's advice is good though.

saddotcom · 14/04/2012 20:29

I would just need to make the call and someone be here but i am trying to get used to this being on my own. Going to have an early night and hope i wake up right side of the bed...its these long weekends when kids away till mond night from friday and i fill it full with stuff but i have to sit down and feel whats going on at one point i suppose. thanks a wee bit britains got talent sure to cheer me :O lol x

OP posts:
saddotcom · 27/06/2012 18:08

I have an update for this thread and not sure how to link it as a new post but showing this thread. Can anyone help? please

OP posts:
DharmaBumpkin · 27/06/2012 19:05

Just update this thread, sad... The people reading will then be able to catch up with the back story too :)

saddotcom · 27/06/2012 19:33

ahhhh right oops i posted a new one. Thanks tho and i hopefully wont have to talk about same subject again thanks :D

OP posts:
saddotcom · 27/06/2012 19:45

Well its briefly to say i have heard just last night via the most unlikely event of my friend going on holiday to Turkey and hearing a familiar accent bumped into a couple on a boat trip that are from the same village as the rat in question. It seems he was only ever on a trial seperation and explains why the upheaval over me posting a pic on fb of us going to london. He apparantely got some really snazzy car and back in huge family home :) he has strung me along and what a full i was and should have let the penny drop. Shall know what to look out for the next time.

OP posts:
izzyizin · 27/06/2012 19:53

You found it!

Here's your latest thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1505064-A-word-of-warning

Does ths mean that the couple on the Turkish boat trip will have gone back to the rat's village with more than the customary souvenirs?

Older and wiser and onward and upward, honey. It's the only way to go...

saddotcom · 27/06/2012 19:57

Thanks izzyizin i am rubbish with links and men it would seem :) and my friend was very discreet and she said they were kind of :O when she said i had been seeing him for that length of time. I dont think she got into too much info about all of the above but they were very forth coming with info about how strange a set up him and wife had as they seemed to be still together but he in the flat. I am glad i dont live in such a small village they do get to know all your business....thankfully haaaa haaaa

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread