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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My Husband went to Hooters

64 replies

BettySuarez · 04/04/2012 07:59

Not sure when or on how many occasions but almost certainly on business trip.

It came up in conversation last night, not sure how but for some reason I asked him whether he had ever been and his reaction was 'of course'

He is a 48 year old, highly educated married man with 4 children including a daughter who is late teens.

I can understand that on business trips it would be easy to feel under pressure to follow the crowd ( in his case, a large group of predominantly male, middle aged engineers) but it still bothers me and his casual reaction to it bothers me even more.

OP posts:
Grockle · 04/04/2012 08:03

Families go to Hooters. It's not a huge deal in the US - it's just another themed restaurant. Its not like a strip joint. wouldn't be bothered if DP had been to one but I've never been.

Why are you so bothered by it?

Pooka · 04/04/2012 08:07

I'd be bothered. There are hundreds of food outlets in US. why choose the one with dodgy breast related/objectifying branding.

I'd be bothered by the casual sexism but also the plain dull lack of imagination involved.

BettySuarez · 04/04/2012 08:11

I'm bothered by his reaction to it I suppose, he would have known that I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

If he had said 'look, we were in a large group it would have difficult to have said no' then I would find it easier to understand.

Neither of us would want our daughter to work there, he would feel very uncomfortable with that.

OP posts:
crestico · 04/04/2012 08:16

Got to agree with Grockle. It's not as bad as you're imagining tbh. It really truely is a family restaurant where the waitresses happen to wear short shorts and tighter fitting tops. There really isn't anything sexual about it and it's nothing like a strip joint. Really isn't a big deal and I think his reaction of blunt honesty shows that.

SirSugar · 04/04/2012 08:20

if hes highly educated he probably took it for what it was, purile

SirSugar · 04/04/2012 08:22

As you can see I'm not highly educated; *puerile

CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/04/2012 08:25

Hooters is in the tradition of seaside postcards, Carry On Films and other bawdy entertainment. Poor taste and sexist, certainly, but not in the same league as some of the seedier 'red light' type places.

mummytime · 04/04/2012 08:29

If it was in the US then I wouldn't over react, it could be quite hard to say no if a group was going. It is seen as pretty mainstream. He may not have even know that was where they were going until they got there.
I'd calm down and discuss you feelings with him. Do also remember that the restaurants can seem very different during the day time than the evenings.

squeakytoy · 04/04/2012 08:30

Hooters is no big deal. I have been myself a few times. I have been there with work colleagues, and I have been there with my husband, and with my mates.

WipsGlitter · 04/04/2012 08:41

Ive been to Hooters. The girls had the thickest tights I've ever seen. Leggings practically. It's not a strip club, it's cheap and full of families (or the one I was in anyway) The girls are clothed and are waitressing, not dancing.

Grockle · 04/04/2012 08:44

Yes, it's sexist, the whole thing is crass & is not somewhere i'd chose to eat (because of the food as much as the waitstaff) but I wouldn't get too het up about it. Talk to DH & explain how you feel. Did he know you felt like this before he went?

LesAnimaux · 04/04/2012 08:51

Just be glad he didn't buy himself a t-shirt.

I don't "approve" of Hooters. I don't get dining somewhere where the theme is girls with big norks. I certainly wouldn't take my DC there, but wouldn't get too wound up if DH went with work colleagues. I would have a lower opinion of his colleagues, just like I do when I discover someone over the age of 14 reads the sun and has a look at P-3.

OP, the only place on MN I think you'll find like minded people on this subject is in them feminism topic.

MamaChoo · 04/04/2012 08:53

I've been to Hooters and Wips is right - those poor waitresses wear 900 denier tights in a special shade of frumpy beige. To put it in context, being a Hooters waitress is seen as being down the ladder from a Lakers cheerleader, not up the ladder from a stripper.

LesAnimaux · 04/04/2012 08:55

It's not the waitresses I'm are judging here, it's the clientele.

AfricanExport · 04/04/2012 08:58

I've been to Hooters. Not a biggy really - also went with work mates while on a conference. Nothing is hanging out or anything like that. It is just a restaurant.

Sure I wouldn't take my kids there for dinner but I think myself and OH are mature enough not to have to worry about.

OP - Have you been to Hooters or are you basing your opinion on hearsay?

PosiePaques · 04/04/2012 09:00

Ewww. I find it seedy and pathetic and I think I would lose a little respect for people that choose to eat the hideous excuse for food.

clam · 04/04/2012 09:09

Totally misunderstood this thread title. Blush Round here, Hooters is a musical instrument shop!

Chopstheduck · 04/04/2012 09:15

I've been. hooters girls are supposed to be wholesome girl next door rather than strippers, it's not really that bad.

Its not something I'd want my dd doing, but I've been and wouldn't be bothered in the least if dh went with mates. Their wings were rather nice!

bitterbuns · 04/04/2012 09:16

If your DH knew that you'd be bothered by it YANBU

sooperdooper · 04/04/2012 09:18

I've been to Hooters with my fiance when we were on holiday, it's no big deal at all, the waitresses wear more clothes than a lot of girls on a night out

Non issue in my view

EmilyPollifaxInnocentTourist · 04/04/2012 09:20

I judge the clientele. I think Hooters is an utterly horrible institution and I judge anyone who takes children into something which encourages the hyper-sexualisation of young women.
I would be very angry.

RabidEasterEgg · 04/04/2012 09:23

DP went there on a stag night, not bothered by it in the least

haddock1976 · 04/04/2012 09:44

I've been to Hooters on more than one occasion and suggested that DH went for the onion rings a couple of months ago during a US trip he's an almost middle aged engineer The staff wear a uniform that in some ways is less revealing than waiting uniforms for other bars. The very unflattering skin coloured, thick tights are not exactly sexy on a young woman never mind the middle aged women who make up the waiting staff. What you see on the Hooters website is not an accurate portrayal of the average Hooters sports bar member of staff!

Step · 04/04/2012 09:51

Hooters is not an issue.

PosiePaques · 04/04/2012 11:16

Hooters is an issue. It's a seedy establishment with staff having to sign a contract that prevents them for suing for sexual harassment.

A nearly fifty yr old going in is pretty boaksome.