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Original poster

My Husband went to Hooters

64 replies

BettySuarez · 04/04/2012 07:59

Not sure when or on how many occasions but almost certainly on business trip.

It came up in conversation last night, not sure how but for some reason I asked him whether he had ever been and his reaction was 'of course'

He is a 48 year old, highly educated married man with 4 children including a daughter who is late teens.

I can understand that on business trips it would be easy to feel under pressure to follow the crowd ( in his case, a large group of predominantly male, middle aged engineers) but it still bothers me and his casual reaction to it bothers me even more.

OP posts:
mummytime · 04/04/2012 11:40

Posie I would agree totally in the UK, but given just how mant 50 year olds and families go to them in the US, it really is different there.
If you haven't already got very strong views on the chain, and your work colleagues suggest going out for Chicken Wings, then pull up at one, you would probably go in. Especially as there would be plenty of families going in. Especially if you are a bloke.

Now in the UK they are not part of the furniture, and are highly differentiated by their busty reputation. If my DH went. To one in the UK I would make it clear to him what I thought, if it was in the US I would point out how sexist it was (and how it would be seen as dodgy by HR).

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 04/04/2012 12:25

I would be grossed out if my DP went there - a tits themed restaurant is not the norm fgs. Would everyone's husbands find it totally yawnworthy if their wives frequented my imaginary "Trunks" restaurant where everything is penis themed and the muscly young men wear posing pouches?

sunshineandbooks · 04/04/2012 12:31

It's this normalisation of this sort of casual sexism that paves the way for less 'harmless' forms of entertainment involving women's breasts.

LesAnimaux · 04/04/2012 12:33

A Trunks restaurant.

Interesting thought.

PosiePaques · 04/04/2012 12:33

Phew, normality has resumed. Thanks Sunshine and Elephants!

Grockle · 04/04/2012 12:37

Is there Hooters in the UK? Shock

abbscrosswoman · 04/04/2012 13:03

Oh puleeze......Hooters is a 'tits themed' restaurant ? In the USA you couldn't be more wrong. It is a family restaurant with cheap, average food, and you are likely to see more women customers than men. As others have said, the 'uniform' is not in the slightest bit titillating.

You see more scantily dressed females on any Saturday night in the average UK town centre !

daisydoodoo · 04/04/2012 13:15

Ive only ever been in one in the US and it was a family restaurant along the themes of tgi or chilli's. i.e lots of deep fat fried food covered in bbq sauces.
It wasnt sleezy and the one we went in (on international drive) had waiters working as well, ok so they were in short sleeved t-shirts and jeans rather than shorts and a vest top. Plenty of the female clientele were wearing less clothing than the waitresses, given that it was august in Florida and was over 100 degrees, short shorts without tights and strappy vest tops. Myself included, i had denim shorts and a strappy vest top, and large breasts, i see it as no one forces them to work there and when you apply to become a hooters girl you know what you are signing up for.
I can imagine in the UK that hooters would have a different feel to it as its a novelty and one that we seem to obsess with, after having been in the US one i wouldnt object to one opening in my local town. I probably wouldnt visit, but i dont see it as the sleezy place bordering on a pole dnacing or topless bar that some people seem to think it is.

Pooka · 04/04/2012 13:24

I don't think it is in the same league in terms of expolitation and objectification as lap dancing clubs. But it is up there in the same category of places where women are demand/undermined.

It is sleazy and crass. And anyone who says that a restaurant themed around breasts is family-themed or harmless is really odd IMO.

I also find the idea that the staff "know what they're signing up for" distasteful. Does that fact negate or override the sleaziness of the joint? No. You could argue that people who work in sweat shops know what they're signing up for, or people who work in order to make a wage, any wag,e in undesirable conditions (or unsafe ones) similarly went in with open eyes. Doesn't make it right.

Bleeugh. I'd be absolutely horrified if dd worked in one, or if ds1 or ds2 chose to frequent the place.

Chopstheduck · 04/04/2012 13:54

There used to be at least one branch in the UK but it didn't work well here, and they closed down. Here, I think it was sleazy.

joblot · 04/04/2012 13:55

Let me get this right- this restaurant employs female staff according to breast size???? Wtaff??? And some people think thats ok??? Well I'm sure its fine and fair as therell soon be one employing only men with big bollocks. Would these 'no biggie' folk take their kids there too?

abbscrosswoman · 04/04/2012 14:05

Joblot, I don't know if Hooters employs females according to breast size, although I have never seen that suggested. About the only thing remotely sexist about their retaurants in the USA is the name and that's a stretch.

I suspect you have never been in one .............?

joblot · 04/04/2012 14:09

Well no funnily enough, I haven't. I've read this thread and that's what it implies. That's why I asked

PosiePaques · 04/04/2012 14:28

abbs. Perhaps with such little knowledge of the brand you should refrain from commenting. In the US a waitress was sacked for turning up to work with a black eye, from her H, because she didn't fit the sexy girl next door image, likewise another fired for carrying a little weight. Even some Americans boycott the restaurant for it's blatant objectifying culture. It's the 'family' thing that pisses me off the most, normalising sexist attitudes.

And Hooters in the US is as known as Tits in the UK.

The wet T shirt nights and bikini contests completely seal the sexist deal for me.

MsNorbury · 04/04/2012 14:33

the fact that you "know what you are doing when you sign up for it"
doesnt excuse that its only women who have this kind of shit and that what ONE woman does, really DOES affect how men see the rest of us
its the same argument for pole dancers - yes they might like it, but it has a knock on effect for degrading the rest of us and making ALL women into consumable items, judged only on their looks.

amen

DinahMoHum · 04/04/2012 14:37

i think you can make an issue out of anything if youre determined enough.

Id be more concerned that you think youd have a say over where your husband eats on business trips when hes not with you

abbscrosswoman · 04/04/2012 14:57

Posie, What is your knowledge of the brand exactly ? What I know of the brand is what I have actually expeienced unlike some posters who have freely admitted they have never been in one of their establishments.

I have never seen a T-shirt night or bikini contest in Hooters. I am aware that there have been claims against the company relating to weight by two employees in Michigan (the only state in the US or anywhere else as far as I know that has legislation against that kind of discrimination). I believe the case was settled at arbitration and resulted in no change to working practices in their restaurants. There have been class action suits brought in California claiming breaches of CA employment law which apply to both male and female employees. If you know anything about California you would not be surprised..............class action employment suits are a statewide obsession. However I think there is a growing realisation, even in CA, that driving companies out of the state for such reasons is not in the interests of unskilled employment or th funding of public services.

I think you and others are shooting at the wrong target............try Chippendales shows.

AThingInYourLife · 04/04/2012 15:03

I don't think I'd be happy to realise I was married to a man who thought

"of course"

was a reasonable answer to

"have you ever been to the nasty misogynist institution Hooters?"

I wouldn't give a toss if he had been, but I would be grossed out if he couldn't see how utterly repulsive it is.

MrGin · 04/04/2012 15:04

I'd imagine there are rather a lot of bars and pubs in the world that employ bar staff on the basis of how attractive they are to members of the opposite sex. Not really anything new.

Sandalwood · 04/04/2012 15:09

But the place is pretty much called tits

(Unless they mean noses).

AThingInYourLife · 04/04/2012 15:14

:o

Yes! It's a restaurant where all the staff have enormous noses!

(I would go to that restaurant.)

Vassia · 04/04/2012 15:17

Oh for God's sake, can you all just get a grip. There are more important things to worry about in life than Hooters! If you don't like it, don't go, don't think about it, pretend it doesn't exist!

And for the OP, seriously? You are upset/ annoyed by this? I think it says a lot more about you than it does him to be honest. Calm down, its only a fast food/ TGI's type place to grab some cheap food. Stop being one of those uptight, PITA people who have a problem with stupid little things that really are quite are quite insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

Original poster
BettySuarez · 04/04/2012 15:21

Thanks to everyone for providing feedback - I have finally had the chance to talk to DH this morning, he had no idea that I would be this upset.

I just wanted to update the thread and try to answer some of the initial questions etc

Apparently this visit was 15 plus years ago - I initially assumed that it was more recently but not the case.

So he was in his mid thirties then rather in his late 40's. Slightly less tacky I suppose?

He said that the food was crap and overpriced and he felt really uncomfortable in there. Some of his other male collegues also looked uncomfortable although others seemed to enjoy it.

At other tables, he witnessed men being very lewd and suggestive to the waitresses who just seemed to 'take it' (his words).

It wasn't his idea to go there and he wasn't aware that he 'hadn't' mentioned it to me iyswim but also hadn't really given it any thought as to why I might not be happy about it.

clam Grin Hooters would be an excellent name for an instrument shop

My own personal feeling (which I appreciate not everyone will share) is that Hooters is not somewhere I would like my husband to visit. I trust him 100% without question but there are deeper issues here concerning standards and respect, particularly with regards to the messages we pass on to our own children. Maybe this has become more important to both of us now that our own daughters are growing up and we are watching them mature and develop in confidence. We have also watched them both struggle with their own self-esteem issues particularly regarding body issues etc. So I am very pleased to hear that he hasn't been back since - I also think my teen daughters would be shocked if this happened too.

I would not want my daughters to work there and I would not want my sons to visit there until they are old enough to understand the issues around objectification/exploitation of women and to then make an informed decision of their own. I am not saying that this is what happens there (maybe it is, maybe it isn't) but it is an issue that at the very least needs to be explored rather then just a widespread acceptance of the fact that many women have to earn a living in this way.

Yes, it's a themed resteraunt - I get that. But where Tex Mex is themed around Tequila shots and cactus' and The Outback is themed around Billabongs and Burgers, Hooters is themed around breasts - there is no escaping that fact.

My perceptions of Hooters is based on friends accounts of visiting/working there in the UK (none of it good). The fact that it is classed as a family resteraunt in the US makes me shudder to be honest. But yes, maybe it is a little seedier in the UK.

I deliberately didn't post this in the Feminist section because I needed a wider viewpoint rather then a more one-sided one and I do appreciate everyones feedback.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/04/2012 15:32

What?...

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 04/04/2012 15:34

"At other tables, he witnessed men being very lewd and suggestive to the waitresses who just seemed to 'take it' (his words)."

I was travelling for work the other day and the 40-something year old man at the next table repeatedly asked me to sit on his lap, and shouted "I've already got a semi, love". If this is the sort of shit women in this country get when they're in a public environment, dressed in office clothes, in the middle of the afternoon, I can barely imagine the sort of thing the Hooters staff must face when the whole theme of the restaurant is basically "ogle our staff", and when they've had to sign a waiver regarding sexual harrassment.