The Brave Babes Battle Bus - BOINGing Into Spring, The Jesus(WhatNext) Way!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm one of the Brave Babes aboard the Battle Bus, on the journey to sobriety.

We have drinkers, non-drinkers, inbetweeners, notquitesurers...... which is all fantastic.

No matter who you are or where you're at in your personal quest to get where you want to be, come grab a seat and join in the natter, just jump right in.

And, if you'd like to see where we've been up until now, HERE is a link to the last thread and the ones before it

See you soon.

Had the most awful cravings this afternoon, wondering how I was going to get through the evening without booze :( Managed to resist, thank god. At least I should sleep better tonight. Betterplace - I had the same bug last week, horrid. Hope you feel better.

Just wanted to say I am an avid follower of the Babes, and wish them well in all their trials and tribulations. Feel a bit of an "I'm not worthy" as my own trials & tribs are non existent compared to the Babes, more down to a lack of life force or spirit. But though you may not realise your honesty is an inspiration to many.

beadmaker what a lovely post. thank you
indie here, you can have my leftover snotty tissues, I feel better now. Serves you right for snogging me in the sidecar

beadmaker thanks for the lovely post.

ma Velcro away. Tonight I will not be drinking. I'm consuming a lot of mini eggs though.

Isindie I fear you are right. DD screamed a lot at bedtime, as usual, then sobbed for ages asking if I still love her, as usual. I tell this child I love her a zillion times a day, smother her in cuddles, do everything for her and yet she still asks.

Mind you yesterday she said

Do you love me mummy?

Of course DD, I love you more than anything.

Can I have another chocolate then?

ds' best one is 'i guess i'm stupid' said whilst sneakily looking sideways from under his eyelashes to gauge effect when he's been told off for doing something naughty. luckily he's easy to make laugh at himself and fess up rather than play out the game to emotional heights iyswim. for now anyway - i'm sure as a teen he'll up the stakes no end

no alcohol still - drinking camomile tea and looking forward to silent witness part 2.

ummm, while one hates to be pedantic isindie, there is no such thing as an ISDN number. The N stands for number so therefore, should you wish to be grammatically correct, you should offer msGee the ISD number

God, I have waited AGES to use that piece of trivia on someone!!!!

While I have stayed off the wine, I did find some homemade plum vodka in the fridge.......

ooh plum vodka! my ears pricked up

booze free but very chocolated here.

hope everyone has had a good evening and those going back to work tomorrow have a good day x

Morning!!

isinde with the power of amazon I have just bought that book! Thank you. DD turns four on Sunday and I keep buying just one more present ... She still hasn't earnt back most of her toys from last week ... And more worryingly hang noticed! (after being soft she went in my room and nicked a few toys out of the bag herself which put a stop to a immediate return of pink rabbit, unicorn, tigers 1-4, moose, cats 2&3, etc - her toy cupboard is like a zoo).

Back to basics for me today. Work in the evening, then I have some new cordial to try with fizzy water. Bet you're all jealous of my exciting plans eh?

So ... What's everyone else's plan today? Fail to plan ... Plan to fail and all that. (spreadsheet optional )

MsGee thanks for your lovely inspirational post. It will help keep me going.

Today I am going to work and I am not going to drink.

ok so i have a day one under my belt which is good - feel better this morning than i did yesterday morning that's for sure and my mood seems to have lifted a little.

i have to make plans right now or the day will drift. trying to decide whether to just oompf into action and go to london for the day and take the boy to the dinosaur museum and such.

reckon i will go check the weather reports and then decide.

morning babes

hope returns to work go smoothly.

beautiful post bank holiday weather here.
Hope all goes well for you all- work or home with DCs.
Whether you're struggling not to drink, or just keep on an even keel remember HALT, avoid getting Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.
Saf the weather looks good for a London trip. Just make sure you keep fed and don't get home tired and hungry!

Morning, tis me, Mouse

MsGee - Wow, just wow my lovely. I had no idea just how many days you've clocked up! 17 now? That is great news.

I hope you don't mind me saying this but I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, no matter how cruel or kind, Karma has a direct line with me!

Now that you have stopped for today, maybe you can start to heal. Maybe you can start to grow strong again, for all of you. Maybe this is the best thing that you've done in a long time. Maybe, just maybe, this is just the beginning of some very wonderful things.

Please don't be offended when I tell you that I'm feeling really proud of you for getting as far as you have, all because you can, all because you wanted to. Massive hugs to you and your lovely family. xx

Saf - a day on, a day off is better than a day on, a day on, a day on....... I'm sorry to hear that DS is getting a little 'tiresome' . Maybe you could get him to go on a mini beast hunt in the garden? Dinosaurs sound much more fun though...... it'd be too busy for me to cope. I can't even go shopping when the schools are off - panic attack central.

Ma - just mwahs to you as always lovely lady, I hope things are settling down with you, you've been in my thoughts xx

I see we had a quick invasion, swiftly dealt with by MNHQ.

Today I will mostly trying to make sure that the kitchen is ready for the units when they are delivered on Thursday. Fingers crossed that I have a kitchen by the time DD goes back to school. [wishful thinking emoticon]

We went to see my parents yesterday, and amazingly, there was no comparing of children to Nemo which is what usually happens. In fact, Nemo was a shining star and did counting to 10 and 20, singing twinkle twinkle little star, and lining up all of the farm animals in a row, all facing front, in size order and even colour coded! most impressive!

I managed to lose another 2lb so I'm a happy Mouse

Silver - how is your mum? xx

IsinDe - your post struck a cord with me. DH is not DD's natural father. BUT he is everything else in every way. He loves her unconditionally, he treats her the same as Nemo and although her father is in her life (when he can be arsed), their relationship is much stronger that the one with her natural dad.

My step father is my dad, I love him so much and I admire his commitment to me and my sister. He met my mother when she was 30 (she's now 55) and took us all under his wing. He changed his life and his world, to let us in and take care of us.

My natural father was thrown out when I was 2yrs old for sleeping with the girl (she was 15) who is now his wife.

I asked my SD to give me away at my wedding, not my natural father, he refused to come to my wedding because his wife was ill. Nothing serious, nothing more than a cold, but he chose not to be there on one of the happiest days of my life. His loss.

My SD was there, he came to get me when it was time for me to walk down the aisle. He told me that he loved me and that he was proud to be my father.

I know that your girls will know in their hearts that your love for them will be unconditional no matter what. They will have a wonderful life with you regardless of DNA. DNA is a chemical link, not one from the heart.

Anyone can create a life (not to be insensitive) but not everyone can be a loving, kind, cherishing parent like you IsinDe.

That is worth so much more than a sheet with numbers and code on it. You are a fantastic parent, simply because of the fact that you love your girls with ever ounce of your being. From that, they will grow, and learn and you will be there every step of the way. It's you and DP who are there when they are poorly, sad, happy, sneezing snot everywhere...... and that's what counts. That's all that matters. xxx

on the flipside of that is the fact that ds's biological father has never even seen him and does not want to - so much for the 'it's all about the dna' theory from either side of the coin

you are their mother isinde - it's a verb as much as a noun i reckon - much like 'love'. with all due respect it sounds like your family, like mine, have to find something negative in everything so what can you do? ignore and know better.

if i was to have another child i'd want to do it with a woman - i wonder if there is a sight somewhere for single lesbians who want to coparent? sorry random, random.

i'm all clean and dressed and have a teeny bit of boing thanks to not drinking yesterday. can't face hectic trains and tubes and malarchy so instead i've decided we'll go on a long walk that i haven't tried yet which will take us to another village with a pub that does nice food and has a lovely garden with a treehouse that ds will like. i will probably drink - one or two - nothing excessive. for now the day on day off is as you said mouse certainly better than day on, day on, day on and it's giving me the chance to experience the difference without any major commitments.

i'll call this my warm up period.

site not sight!

Sounds fab Saf - what time are you leaving?

I totally get what you mean when you say you'd rather have a woman to co parent with than a man. Someone on the same wavelength without the physical tangles of a sexual relationship as such.... maybe I'm reading your post wrong

I'd like the simplicity that a situation like that would bring me. I did think a lot about that when I was a single parent. I enjoyed it being just me and DD for a long time, I was in control of us and everything we did. I knew what to expect. It was better than an abusive, violent relationship that I'd fled from when DD was 2.5, of course it was but there were also lonely times when I missed the companionship that a loving/caring relationship gives.

So, letting someone into my/our life again was hard to accept. Until I realised that actually, I was in love with my now DH.

Even now, I wait for the bubble to burst, and thankfully, this is something that DH has accepted. He doesn't take it personally, he knows all about my past, every detail. It can't be easy for him when I wobble and suffer from flash backs and panic attacks, he can't stop that, he feels helpless that he can't take that part of my life away from me.

The thing is, I feel that what happened to me then, that time in my life has helped to shape who I am today, IYSWIM?

Sorry, waffling and going off on a tangent now.......

nowt wrong with a good waffle mouse - nice to hear it processing positively iyswim. assimilating the crap is better than locking it in bulging boxes in the attic imho.

i made the mistake, or not, of reading the oft mn cited book, 'toxic parents' this week. brought up a fair bit of emotion by opening some of the boxes. have slammed them shut again for now whilst i deal with what has leaked out.

am leaving after this last cup of coffee.

Me too Saf - I've had a few triggers that I've had to deal with the last few days, memories that have set me off IYSWIM? Like you, I'm dealing with them carefully and bit by bit whilst the rest remain firmly shut in their boxes.

I can't deal with 'it' all at once, no matter how fast it seeps into my thoughts.

Have a lovely walk xx

Morning (just)

Saf how is it that you manage to put into a few words what it would take me a paragraph to say?

the chance to experience the difference without any major commitments

This is how I started to stop. I experienced more and more sober days and it began to dawn on me that I actually preferred not drinking. I was very, very slow to realise this though, doh! . The slips up just confirmed it for me, as did the lovely boingy, boingy days .

Isinde I am a firm believer in nurture over nature too. My gps were not my natural gps (parent adopted) but they were the most lovely, kind, gentle, loving couple you could ever meet. (Quite different to my parents who I hardly see now).

I have fond memories of staying with them, playing, baking, and just basking in the obvious love and affection they had for each other and for me. There was never a cross word, or mean comment but such care and attention to each other. Even their little dog would let me dress him in dolly clothes and push him around in my toy pram!. They were my role models much more than my parents have ever been and have influenced my life. I did love them dearly and will never forget them.

Mouse well done on sticking to the diet over easter. That takes some willpower. I have eaten rather more chocolate than I should have but am back on the diet today. Have you got your new car yet?

Weather could go either way today but I'm about to put some washing on the line, so that should guarantee rain .

How is everyone else. Do we have any Bank Holiday casualties to scoop off the road? Or have we all managed to reign it in a little bit and get back on the bus? Love to all x

Did someone mention waffles? < snuffles greedily around bus >

boing!!! sorry to dash in and out and ive only skimmed over the last couple of days posts - isindi, dd has none of dhs dna - they could not be closer, he loves her unconditionally, she loves as her wonderful, kind, caring dad - dna has fuck all to do with parenting, anyone can provide dna, not everyone can provide good parenting! love you!, you are a wonderful mummy and ont ever question it!!

Here here JWN - dna has fuck all to do with parenting - so very true

Faire - no, the fuckwits at DWP have asked for an extension agreement from the WPA section so that the MOTA section can order the car..... lost yet?

Honestly, it's such a PITA. I'm disabled, I'm not going to get better unless they can do a spine transplant so I have at least three years of DLA on my award..... oh well, it will be here soon enough

Back later xx