So last night I slept on the settee

[5inthebed]

Because I cannot stand "D"H's snoring any longer.

I've aske him to go to the doctors, to try sleep aids and to sleep on the settee himself, all met with a "no its not that bad".

Well it flaming well is. Im a light sleeper (occasional insomniac) as it is, he does his "stop breathing and then try inhale all the air in the room" snore very few minutes so as soon as I manage to nod off he wakes me and I cannot get back to sleep.

Getting to the point now I want to smother him with a pillow just to get a ecent nights sleep.

Not sure what I want from this thread, maybe just an offload. I'm so tired and fed up :(

Record him. Record the radio at a certain volume as a 'control', then record him. It is that bad. Get everyone who knows how bad it is to tell him.

Go to Dr Google and find all the worst things you can about the dangers of sleep deprivation (you) and sleep apnoea (?) (him).

Make an appointment with the doctor and drag him there.

5inthebed two things:

1. This isnt his 'fault' - he isnt doing this to be horrible to you
2. It is a joint problem - he snores, you have sleep problems as well

First thing is that he needs to realise that it is 'that bad'. You are awake so can you record him? Remember that when he is asleep he cant hear himself. once he hears how loud he is he may well be more willing to do something about it.

You are now highly sensitised to his snoring so probably even the smallest peep out of him will disturb you. Have you tried ear plugs? There are a number of different sorts around. I use these because at times my DH snores loudly but also because they help me to get isolated so that I can sleep.

Thanks for replying.

I know he isn;t doing it on purpose, but he isnt doing anything to help matters either.

Have tried recording him on my phone but didn;t pick it up very well. Was debating buying a dictaphone to record on.

Cannot use ear plugs as need to be alert for DS2 (autistic) getting up through the night.

oh, 5inthebed, that's awful.

dh snores too. dreadfully. at the end of last year, we went through a particularly bad patch in our marriage, and I ended up in the spare room for a bit - the difference to my quality of life was amazing! I knew he snored (as do I, but not as badly as he does), and knew it disturbed me to a degree, but I was gobsmacked by how much better (and consequently happier, less stressed, less snappy) I felt after just a couple of nights in the spare room...

we are moving house soon, and one of my main aims (when we can get the cash to renovate) is to have a dressing room off the master bedroom big enough for another bed, so I can escape it a few nights a week at least (sorry, tangent)

for now, dh uses those nose strips you can get in chemists, which help a little, and are relatively simple to test efficiency. he agrees he needs to see a doctor about it (he is geting better quality sleep now he has used the sticky strips, and so sees the point of a doc's appt) but has yet to do so. I will shortly be insisting a touch less gently, or moving back to the spare room!

We have tried the sticky strips, they actually made his snoring worse.

He has a cold atm, which makes his snoring 10x worse. Usually he snores hard for an hour or so until he is in a deep sleep and then it is manageable enough for me to sleep.

No spare room unfortunately as that would be far better than the settee and a Cars fleece of the DCs bed.

it might be worth trying a different brand, or size?

dh says that some are more effective (for his sleep) than others, and despite having a nose not far short of Cyrano de Bergerac , he uses the regular size, as they work better.

it doesn't help totally, and dh still snores a LOT, but he is more rousable, and amenable to turning over and staying turned over, iyswim, when using them. so i still get an interrupted night, but in short bursts, rather than constantly.

I sympathise. sleep deprivation is awful.

is there any way you could change your sofa for eg a sofabed/futon, and get dh to sleep there for a bit to give you a break? (only half joking)

Sofa is just new, so can't change just yet.

Will go to Boots later and buy different type of nose strips, thanks.

oh bugger re: sofa. one of the ikea futon armchairs?

hope different strips help a bit.

Is there any reason why it has to be you who gets up for your DS every night? Is there any way you could do one night on, one night off? We did this when our DCs were babies and needed feeding in the night. It meant that whoever was 'off' that night got to sleep through (and you could wear earplugs for that night). It isnt a solution but could help you get some sleep.

Regarding dictaphone - right now, how much would you pay someone to get a decent night's sleep? That is how much you can spend on a dictaphone!

Sorry I have nothing to add other than sympathy - I want to murder my husband at the moment because of his snoring

DH is a deep sleeper, and works full time (I am SAHM) so the getting up is usually down to me. He does do the nights when he is off the next day, but usually I am awake after trying to wake him up to get up with DS2.

As it happens, it is my turn fora lie in tomorrow so will buy some ear plugs today and see how I get on with those. Will make sure DS2 takes his sleep meds properly for him to sleep (works 50% of the time).

Settee is quite large, it's one of those corner ones and comfortable enough to sleep on, just not a long term fix.

It won't do your back any good OP - I feel you pain!

(((Hugs))) Darling, I totally understand.

DH had a life changing accident some years back and since then the only way he can sleep is on his back.

The noise is horrendous.

I've taken to Doctor perscribed sleeping tablets. ( would not help in your situation, needing to get uo for your DS)

I can't take them all the time and the inbetween times a bad, really bad.

More (((HUGS)) I feel for you.

He could try these mouth pieces
It made a difference with my DH's appalling snoring, but he doesn't like wearing it. If you can persuade your DH that it does matter, it might work. Good luck

Does he actually stop breathing? Sleep Apnea is something he should definitely see his GP about.

My Dad's snoring got so bad my mum eventually frogmarched him to the GP, and was later diagnosed with sleep apnoea. He was stopping breathing something ridiculous like 30 times an hour, which was putting tremendous strain on his heart. He now has one of those mask things that force air at high speed through your nose to keep the airways open. It makes a whooshing noise, but according to mum (also a very light sleeper) it's infinitely better. I'm no-longer woken up in the middle of the night by her squealing, "would you shut up?!" in desperation.

If your DH is carrying any weight around his chin/neck area this will contribute to his snoring. I've noticed when my DP has been away with work and lost a bit of weight his snoring will improve greatly. Talk about history repeating itself.. Anyway, maybe if you make him aware of the problems associated with underlying health problems he might take the first step towards getting treatment. I know the heart-issue was the main reason my dad has stuck with the mask.

you say he holds his breath - do you think he could have apnea? Is he always tired and nods off a lot?

www.britishsnoring.co.uk/sleep_apnoea/epworth_sleepiness_scale.php

I have apnea and use a mask, its hideous but it has helped, although I still stop breathing on average 7 times an hour.

I feel you pain - DP is particularly bad at the moment, and he keeps turning over the snoring right at my ear.

I have been staying up later, until I can't hear him snoring downstairs - then going up to bed, once he's in deep sleep mode.

Both of us are grumpy - his sleep is disturbed, my sleep is disturbed by him but hey why should he do anything about it - he's always snored, and I knew it years ago

Why dont you ask him to come to the GP with you about a problem you have and then when you get there, and only when you get there, tell him that actually you made the appointment in his name?

I dont subscribe to this "he cant help it" thing. He could help it, quite alot, but chooses not to by not getting medical advice. Sleep deprivation is recognised as a form of torture, and there is a reason why new parents get alot of sympathy before the baby is sleeping through! The OP already has disturbed nights because of her DC and his refusal to seek help about his snoring is nothing short of outright selfishness. "I'm alright Jack, sod you".

My sister had a problem with a bone in her nose and had to have an operation. She only found out about it because she went to the GP about her snoring, because it was causing her DH no end of problems with lack of sleep and she didnt want it to damage her marriage.

Your OH's attitude sucks and he needs to know just how selfish he is being.

5inthebed, I feel your pain as DH is a terrible snorer BUT he did go and sort it out, which is what your DH needs to do.

We were referred to a sleep clinic at the local hospital. We both had to attend an appointment where they grilled us both about DH's snoring. Apparently they have to do this as it is quite common for women in particular to say that their partner is a bad snorer just so that they can sleep in separate beds. Then, a few weeks later, DH was given a general anaesthetic so that he went to sleep and they could work out why he was snoring.

There are two types of snoring, one where the soft palate virbrates and causes the snoring noise, this can sometimes respond to breathing strips, sprays ets. It can also be surgically treated by 'scarring' the soft palate with a laser in order to stop it vibrating in the same way due to the scar tissue. This is supposed to be a bit painful afterwards until it heals.

My DH has the other form of snoring. This is where the jaw actually drops back and the position of the jaw causes the snoring noise. This cannot be helped with over the counter type stuff such as sprays etc. DH had to have a special mouth guard made that he puts in at night and which keeps the jaw in the right position so that he doesn't snore - it works a treat. Last year, when his old mouth guard needed replacing, we tried one of the mouth pieces linked to in flimflammery's post but it didn't work anywhere near as well as the one fitted properly at DH's dentist.

Hope this helps all those suffering from snoring, it is hell on earth when you can't sleep and your partner is blissfully snoring away.

That very much sounds like sleep apnoea, which is potentially a big health risk.

My ex-DP wouldn't see a doctor, the sleep deprivation I suffered from was actually a really big part of our relationship breakdown, after having a baby together it was just too much to cope with never getting any sleep between them.

He eventually got checked, and in a sleep study it turned out he stopped breathing up to 50 times an hour, which would have an impact on his energy levels and mood. They wanted him on a machine to help him breath in his sleep.

He eventually had surgery to remove his tonsils and adenoids to widen his airways.

I would urge him to get himself checked if that's what his snoring is like.

Does he have any other symptoms? Tired? Congestion? Blocked ears? Runny nose?

Why should the non-snorer be the one to vacate the room, this really naffs me off. If he is too bloody selfish to address the problem I'd be kicking him out of MY bed. I don't function well with sleep deprivation, I would probably kill him.

Thank you everyone. I've made him a GP appointment for next Thursday when he is off and I shall march him down there myself.

Don't think it is apnea, he only snores this bad when he has a cold, but best to get it looked at in case.

HalfPastWine, last night I could have seriously caused him pain, not a nice place for me to be.