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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dp versus my pet

74 replies

Pippa5l · 01/04/2012 23:33

Last night my DP came over for dd 18 th birthday party which we held for close friends and family. We had a great party except a couple of people fed the dog chocolate. Being a bit worried about the dog after this I let the dog into the front room with myself and Dp when everybody had gone home. When dd had gone to bed my Dp said he wanted a word, he was very upset I had let the dog into the front room on the sofa and he was going home for the night o have a bath to wash off the doghairs. He was bitten by a dog years ago and is now scared of dogs. Now my dog is a cocker spaniel, a real family dog who would only lick you to death, he s a real softie. Anyway Dp wouldn't stay and have a bath at mine and off he went into the night. I had drunk quite a bit during the day so decided. NOt to say anything as I didn't want to say anything I would regret. Upshot today I am feeling very pissed off with him. I haven't heard from him today probably because he knew I wasn't best pleased with him but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do, get rid of the man or the dog?

OP posts:
Stratters · 01/04/2012 23:35

Bit of a no brainer for me, you had your dog when you met your DP, he knew about the dog. Dog comes first.

MissElisabethLindor · 01/04/2012 23:38

Does he never want to be in the same room as the dog?

That is not very easy to do, is it?

nooka · 01/04/2012 23:43

I'd find that really irritating. An aversion to dog hairs is surely not caused by being scared of dogs is it? Sounds a bit OCDish, or perhaps he was making a point? Is your dog not usually allowed into your front room? Our dog wodul be very unhappy to be excluded from the family.

Griblet · 01/04/2012 23:44

Dog. He sounds too much like hard work tbh and a big girls blouse

lucidlady · 01/04/2012 23:46

Dog comes first, definitely. I have a spaniel and they are such gentle loving dogs.

QIelf · 01/04/2012 23:48

He sounds prissy. That's not something any woman finds sexy. Tell him this, and suggest he seeks therapy for his dog hair hysteria, or mans up.

I would love a spaniel. Envy
But not a priss. [sympathy]

suburbophobe · 01/04/2012 23:50

For what it's worth I was bitten by a dog as a child and have no problems with them. Love them! (Unless the vicious type, obviously!).

But that's me. I would not expect everyone else to feel the same who had a similar experience.

RhinosDontEatPancakes · 01/04/2012 23:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ratata · 02/04/2012 00:06

The guy sounds a bit high maintenance. What's wrong with the dog going on the sofa? He needs to get over himself. Sounds a bit weird and prissy. If he was allergic then that may be a different matter. My DH is allergic to my parents dog but he loves the wee terrier and puts up with the sneezing and runny eyes.

Someone who has an aversion to animals is a red flag in my opinion. Unless its bad allergies. I know there are folk out there who feel animals just aren't for them but personally I could never be with someone who didn't like animals. Seems heartless. If someone doesn't melt at the sight of a puppy who hasn't quite grown into his paws yet then they can bugger off.

In short, choose the dog because this guy is likely to make this an issue more than once.

likeatonneofbricks · 02/04/2012 00:10

you can't get rid of the poor dog, especially if he loves the family! what's he ever done to be abandoned?
He needs to get used to it, and that's that.

akaemmafrost · 02/04/2012 00:14

The dog. It's a no brainer.

Just got a lump in my throat looking at my 10 year old boy lying here beside me and thinking about even wondering who I would choose between a DP and him.

GingerBlondecat · 02/04/2012 00:20

Keep the Dog :)

NarkedPuffin · 02/04/2012 00:22

Dog good.

DP bad.

PineCones · 02/04/2012 00:24

Dog wins every time.

Rhinosaurus · 02/04/2012 00:26

No contest, dog!

Why is it so unusual to have the dog in your front room, where does he normally go?

As for going home to wash dog hairs off, bit precious don't you think?!

Honeydragon · 02/04/2012 00:29

You let your dog on your sofa in your house and this concerns him how? Confused

GingerBlondecat · 02/04/2012 00:30

Random thought.

How would your DD feel if you did get rid of Pooch for this man.?

Will she fear she is next to go ?

LeBOF · 02/04/2012 00:33

I would take exception at being told where my own dog could sit in my own house.

This bloke does not sound like a viable long-term prospect. How long have you been seeing him? I would also hesitate to call him my 'partner' if he is just a visitor who thinks he can dictate to me where the dog is allowed.

colditz · 02/04/2012 00:48

I'mglad you let him leave without an argument, because now he maybe has the idea that he's nowhere near as special and important as he thought he was.

Men who are prissy about dog hair will also be prissy about performing oral sex, and that alone is a good reason to ditch him.

Birdsgottafly · 02/04/2012 00:49

I couldn't live without a dog in my life, so it would be an easy choice.

I don't like parrots but i would have one if my DP really wanted one, which he has mentioned and i am sure that i would learn to like our parrot, that's what you do in relationships.

HansieMom · 02/04/2012 00:51

Dog 1, boyfriend 0.

izzyizin · 02/04/2012 00:58

If you intend to keep the wuss, please, please, pretty please, send Mr C Spaniel to me and he'll have the run of my house and garden at all times, sleep wherever he wants (hopefully on my bed when I'm in it Grin), accompany me on my travels, and occupy his rightful place at the centre of a doting human's life and home.

And should any guest who crosses my threshold raise an eyebrow at my free range pets policy they'll be invited to fuck off to the far side of - and then some.

You can be assured that he won't go short of love and attention and he'll also have a couple of dog-loving moggies to amuse him.

oikopolis · 02/04/2012 03:38

if, by some miracle, i found myself offended by someone else's dog in someone else's home, i would never be so stupidly entitled as to comment on it! fgs it's your dog and your home!

unless your P is 11 and given to strops, he is behaving quite bizarrely.

also: who doesn't let their spaniel into the front room??? even my mother, who's not all that keen on dogs, would let our family mutt snuggle up to her on the sofa of an evening.

he is just being weird and a bit pathetic really.

Dolcelatte · 02/04/2012 03:46

As the saying goes 'Love me, love my dog'.
If he is already trying to lay down rules as to what you do in your house, this man is seriously bad news. He sounds at best high maintenance and at worst someone with the potential to become controlling and abusive.
My own theory is that dogs can sense who is good and who is bad and that's probably why he was bitten - it wouldn't surprise me if he'd hurt or provoked the other dog in some way.
Tell him your dog is allergic to him and he can't come round any more!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/04/2012 07:30

"dogs can sense who is good"

Don't be daft. Just because someone doesn't want to be covered in hair and is nervous around dogs it doesn't make them a bad person. Saying 'it's a big softie' is like saying 'it's only small' to an arachnophobia sufferer. Having once had to endure a night in a guest bed that had clearly just been vacated by the family cats, being covered in itchy bits of hair and wondering if I was going to get fleas isn't everyone's idea of fun.... and I have a cat myself. I'm sure the OP will end up choosing the dog over the boyfriend.

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