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Relationships

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Original poster

Dp versus my pet

74 replies

Pippa5l · 01/04/2012 23:33

Last night my DP came over for dd 18 th birthday party which we held for close friends and family. We had a great party except a couple of people fed the dog chocolate. Being a bit worried about the dog after this I let the dog into the front room with myself and Dp when everybody had gone home. When dd had gone to bed my Dp said he wanted a word, he was very upset I had let the dog into the front room on the sofa and he was going home for the night o have a bath to wash off the doghairs. He was bitten by a dog years ago and is now scared of dogs. Now my dog is a cocker spaniel, a real family dog who would only lick you to death, he s a real softie. Anyway Dp wouldn't stay and have a bath at mine and off he went into the night. I had drunk quite a bit during the day so decided. NOt to say anything as I didn't want to say anything I would regret. Upshot today I am feeling very pissed off with him. I haven't heard from him today probably because he knew I wasn't best pleased with him but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do, get rid of the man or the dog?

OP posts:

Panamama · 02/04/2012 07:51

If it has to be a choice, it should be the dog. You shouldn't get rid of a pet because someone else dislikes like him for no reason (yes, I get that he's afraid of them, but this particular dog hasn't done anything that would warrant getting rid). And think of how you would feel if you gave your dog up only for this relationship not to work out.

I think if you had the dog when he entered a relationship with you then he can't expect things to be done differently and change to accommodate him. He's the one that needs to work on his fear.

PurplePidjin · 02/04/2012 07:52

If your dp loves you, he'll accept your dog. Mine doesn't see the point of pets, but happily cohabits with both me and a variety of furries.

ionysis · 02/04/2012 08:01

Oh this resonates! My H HATES our dog. Really detests him. He has OCD and cannot cope with the dog hair, the licking, the dog crap in the garden and the general dogishness of having him around. I LOVE my dog (H claims more than I love him!) and he is brilliant with our children - you couldn't ask for a nicer tempered more loving loyal dog. It's an ongoing battle and makes the house a miserable warzone half the time. If the dog could do washingup and babysit I'd get rid of the husband but as it is we try to muddle through. I'm hoping that moving to a bigger place and getting a cleaner will help downgrade hostilities.

If your partner doesn't "do" dogs though you will be constantly torn between them. And it will get ten times worse if he ever moves in.

I have been trying to make things work for years now and am almost at the point where I am going to have to choose between dog and husband .

QuintessentialShadows · 02/04/2012 08:05

I am not a dog person. I would argue person over pet any time.

But not on this occasion.

Dog.

Dp is a wuss and a twunt.

Longtalljosie · 02/04/2012 08:17

Yeah, what Quint said. I don't like dogs at all and am slightly allergic to them. But clearly if it's a choice, the DP has to go. Flouncing off because you allowed your dog onto your own sofa? Nuts.

SecretNutellaFix · 02/04/2012 08:21

Keep the dog.

Ragwort · 02/04/2012 08:28

Why did your DP get involved with you if he doesn't like dogs?

Personally I totally agree with him, I really, really dislike dogs (and any pets for that matter ) and would find it very difficult to be in the same room as a dog/cat/hamster etc etc BUT I would never, ever get involved with someone who had a pet. I rarely visit friends' houses if I know they have pets, arranging to meet elsewhere.

Also agree with the poster above re: cats in guest houses - yuk.

squeakytoy · 02/04/2012 08:51

Definately dump him and keep the dog... no contest.

JeffTracy · 02/04/2012 09:08

Your dog sounds a bit needy tbh OP. Is he jealous of your new partner? Eating something he MUST have known was bad for him so you would feel sorry and let him back on the sofa is manipulative behaviour bordering on emotional abuse. And is he helping out around the house? I think you should dump this bone-lodger unless he will consider counselling.

D0oinMeCleanin · 02/04/2012 09:21

Keep the dog get rid of the DP. Even if the DP says he can handle the dog, get rid.

I have an ongoing battle with my DH over my dogs. I always win. I always win because he was warned by myself, my friends and my family that I would always be surrounded by animals and if he didn't like it, he would have to walk away. He doesn't like it. He didn't walk away. He whines constantly. Everytime he mentions one of my pets should "move out" my reply is always "Give me a few days and I will find somewhere we can go". It's not worth the hassle. Had I known he would continue with his anti pet tirade I'd never have gotten involved.

His most recent effort is to develop a sudden allergy to my terrier . Eejit. I am badly allergic to my own cat. I'm not going to rehome my dog because he gives DH a runny nose.

hathorinareddress · 02/04/2012 09:22

Dog.

No contest.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 02/04/2012 09:33

Dog.

doctordwt · 02/04/2012 10:33

It's not even about the dog.

It's none of his business whether you let YOUR dog on YOUR sofa in YOUR house. Fine for him to ask would it be ok to put dog in other room for a bit as he is nervous, NOT fine for him to strop because you won't - err, use his rules for your house, it seems.

Red flag. Dump. He's controlling, stroppy and your dog will always be an issue. Give it six months and he'll be bullying you to rehome him. Find a chilled out dog lover instead!

DinahMoHum · 02/04/2012 10:48

im not sure why you had to let the dog in the room if you knew your dp was frightened of them, and im not sure why hes with you if youve got a dog, and im not sure why if he doesnt live wuith you that he thinks hes got a say in whether you have your dog in the front room or not.

sounds a weird relationship to me

GinPalace · 02/04/2012 10:52

He's scared of dogs after a bad biting experience, but the reason he flounced home was to wash the hairs off? He sounds like such a child. He also sounds rather hard work. Wouldn't be my cup of tea but it takes allsorts. :)

OrmIrian · 02/04/2012 10:56

Is he jealous? Does he think dog is getting love and attention he should be getting? Otherwise I can't explain it. Odd man.

Ice9116 · 02/04/2012 10:57

I have a phobia of dogs so can understand it is difficult BUT when you go round somebody else's house into their space and its their dog it is you and not your host that makes allowances - you say you don't want to touch/interact with them but you cannot dictate where they go as it is a) rude and b) you are not that important.

In this case I also vote to keep the dog.

HotDAMNlifeisgood · 02/04/2012 11:00

He's having a tantrum to attempt to control what you do with your own dog in your own house.

Red flag.

Tokamak · 02/04/2012 12:25

Even though I detest the bloody things, and wouldn't even dream of getting involved with someone who owns one in the first place, you should go for the dog and dump the bloke. It'll always be a major issue by the sound of it. Best cut your losses.

LadyBeagleEyes · 02/04/2012 12:46

I have a dog and two cats.
They sleep anywhere and everywhere.
I don't have a partner, but if I met someone like your Dp who tried to tell me where my pets went in my home I'd laugh in his face, and tell him not to bother coming back.
My ex was allergic to animal hairs so I never had a pet in the 11 years we were together apart from a hamster.
That was fair enough as I didn't have pets when I met him.
I'm now making up for those wasted years with my darling furry family

IDontWantToBeFatAnymore · 02/04/2012 12:50

Dog every time and I don't have one.

I have a cat and she comes before everyone .

Original poster

Pippa5l · 02/04/2012 13:07

Wow, thanks for your messages, some really made me laugh but I think the general concensus is to dump DP. To be honest the reason I asked the question was that I did feel controlled and thought if I go with him in this it's the wrong path. I generally do separate DP from the dog via doors but on this occasion I ewas a bit concerned for the dogs welfare after he had been fed the chocolate so wanted him near. I do feel that DP flouncing off like that was ott, arrogant and prissy so am not impressed with the behaviour. For the record he is not allergic, he's scared of dogs. I actually get that as I have a severe phobia of cats so I understand it but to refuse to bath at my house and to steam off into the night just left me perplexed and annoyed. I've not heard from him since which I just find pathetic. I won't be getting rid of the dog full stop.

OP posts:

D0oinMeCleanin · 02/04/2012 13:12

It's not because he's scared of the dog. Dog hair, last time I checked, has no teeth and thus cannot bite, so there's no need to wash it off before ot bites.

It's because he is a twunt.

Marymoo73 · 02/04/2012 13:18

Dog.

No brainer.

Mama1980 · 02/04/2012 13:42

Dog every time

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