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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dp versus my pet

74 replies

Pippa5l · 01/04/2012 23:33

Last night my DP came over for dd 18 th birthday party which we held for close friends and family. We had a great party except a couple of people fed the dog chocolate. Being a bit worried about the dog after this I let the dog into the front room with myself and Dp when everybody had gone home. When dd had gone to bed my Dp said he wanted a word, he was very upset I had let the dog into the front room on the sofa and he was going home for the night o have a bath to wash off the doghairs. He was bitten by a dog years ago and is now scared of dogs. Now my dog is a cocker spaniel, a real family dog who would only lick you to death, he s a real softie. Anyway Dp wouldn't stay and have a bath at mine and off he went into the night. I had drunk quite a bit during the day so decided. NOt to say anything as I didn't want to say anything I would regret. Upshot today I am feeling very pissed off with him. I haven't heard from him today probably because he knew I wasn't best pleased with him but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do, get rid of the man or the dog?

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 02/04/2012 13:58

On a note that nobody seems to have struck yet, I'd be inclined to have a sharp word with whoever fed the dog chocolate against your wishes (or, if small children, whoever was in charge of them). It's not like they would be the ones having to wash the carpet if he was sick, or pay the vet bills.

akaemmafrost · 02/04/2012 14:26

From your most recent update I would say you've had a lucky escape, he sounds like an absolute twerp.

If only all horrible men could be weeded out by dogs in such a fashion Wink.

Stratters · 02/04/2012 14:53

Your dog sounds a bit needy tbh OP. Is he jealous of your new partner? Eating something he MUST have known was bad for him so you would feel sorry and let him back on the sofa is manipulative behaviour bordering on emotional abuse.

Err seriously? You think dogs eat chocolate so they can emotionally abuse their owners?

GrinGrinGrin

LeBOF · 02/04/2012 14:55

I think it was a joke Grin

OrmIrian · 02/04/2012 15:05

akaemmafrost - I think you're on to something there. We have seeing dogs and hearing dogs, twat-identifying dogs for women in new relationships is just an extension of that.

Stratters · 02/04/2012 15:09

Was it? Confused

D0oinMeCleanin · 02/04/2012 15:10

Twat identifying dogs? Where do I sign up?

Mine are rubbish. The little buggers all lurve him Hmm. Just cause he feeds them leftovers and I won't Confused

I give them lovely, healthy, top of the range kibble then he goes and fills them on egg fried rice and curry sauce. Have you ever shared a room with a greyhound whose been eating curry sauce? Envy

Ephiny · 02/04/2012 15:24

I would choose the dog absolutely every time. Your 'DP' is presumably quite capable of managing without you, but your little dog depends on you for absolutely everything, and you have a responsibility to him.

Not saying you should dump the DP, but if it was me I would tell him very clearly that your dog is part of your family (and that you will let your dog on your sofa any time you want!), and if he can't accept that then the relationship is not likely to have much of a future.

OrmIrian · 02/04/2012 15:33

dooin - re greyhounds and farting. Are they worse than most breeds? Spent yesterday with friends who own a grey - we all ended up in the garden because the stench was so vile!!

PineCones · 02/04/2012 15:37

Hear hear pippa5l. Good for you Smile

JeffTracy · 02/04/2012 16:13

I thought the "bone-lodger" part gave it away Stratters Grin

For the record, DP flouncing off like that and then not contacting the OP seemed very silly, even though I am not a big fan of dogs myself. So I have doubts he is a suitable life partner.

doctordwt · 02/04/2012 16:49

There you go OP - your instincts were telling you already that this one was a bad (controlling) egg!

Dumpity dump Grin

Honeydragon · 02/04/2012 16:54

Sratters Grin

Your love for little dog has melted your brain, that's all luvvie.

D0oinMeCleanin · 02/04/2012 17:38

Oh yes, Orm, much worse. It took us three days to air out the house after the stolen boiled cabbage and sprouts incident Grin

On the brightside if you have a dodgy tummy and guests you can blame the dog Wink

Tiago · 02/04/2012 17:45

Keep the dog. Definitely.

TheWomanFormerlyKnownAsSGM · 02/04/2012 17:59

Keep the dog.

Buy a vibrator.

QuietTiger · 02/04/2012 18:34

As others have said:

Keep the dog, get rid of the controlling twat. Simples. Grin

myhusbandssisterisabitch · 02/04/2012 19:02

The dog every time! After all he was there first.

The dog will never let you down, sulk over a few stray hairs and never stop loving you.

4c4good · 02/04/2012 20:03

Dog, obviously.

Good boy. WELL DONE!

ImperialBlether · 02/04/2012 20:16

He's not really your partner; he's just a boyfriend, isn't he? He doesn't seem to have spent a lot of time at your house.

I don't like dogs (and think all this is crap about people who dislike animals being awful people) - my friend has a dog and I'm happy being in the house with it because she's so passive. If someone had an alsation or similar, I couldn't go out with them or ever even go into their house.

It's better for both of you that you don't continue the relationship. You shouldn't have to give up your dog and he shouldn't have to live alongside something he is scared of.

Doha · 02/04/2012 20:50

Love me love my dog.

Cockers are great and l bet your cocker is irreplaceable---unlike your DP.

SkinnedAlive · 02/04/2012 22:41

Hmmmmmmmm - have to go with the majority. Dump the BF and keep the dog. He may have been scared of the dog, but if he really wanted to please you and be with you long term, he would be making efforts to get to know a very much loved member of your family. In fact I think you have been way too nice to him already. Why hasn't he been spending time in the same room as the dog and getting to know him? A family member he dislikes so much he won't be in the same room with him, is not something that can be compromised on is it?

Dooin - careful with the curry! It is also bad/toxic for dogs if it has garlic in it. A one off may not do any harm, but I would not take the risk myself. Cats even a one off is a big no no.

Plomino · 02/04/2012 22:55

Dog wins, paws down .

Mind you I think that my DH deserves a medal , as does anyone else that can stay in the room with my two greys , the fastest foulest farters in the west.

Latara · 03/04/2012 09:27

One of my sister's friends gave her 2 ten yr old boy cats to a rescue centre after much soul searching... her DP hated them, she loved him.. or maybe needed to love him (mid 30's, lonely, wanted marriage & kids). 5 years on she's had to ditch: lipstick, short skirts, her family, her home town, mates, & got 2 sweet toddlers whose dad is uncaring & got them into massive debt to meet his vanity... Luckily those 2 cats were rehomed but i saw their bewildered faces at the rescue centre.. so sad :-( Keep the dog, if DP loves u he should understand. If DP leaves because of your dog then.. A) is DP worth it anyway? B) there are Lots of nice men out there & C) Does he love u enough? - if he does he should accept the pet u love..

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